Insanity

NEW JOURNAL LOG

Date: 12/15/2025
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I hold myself accountable. I don't think I should, but I can't help but remember. Why can't I stop seeing them when I sleep? Why do they still haunt me? I see faces, anguish, blood, fear... Sash... My own brother... My greatest failure. The mirrors showed me a reality. One where I kill him. It would be a mercy, but it brings in new concerns. What did I see out there? Was it real? Did I really kill an Ivy out in those woods, or was it some memetic causing us to go insane? I can't tell... It's eating at me. Did we tear each other apart, or was the thing real? I saw it... I think? Sam was torn in half, Curt was tossed like a ragdoll after having his spine snapped like a twig, and Sash... I remember his limbs... the crunch... No... It was real... was it?


Am I losing myself? I see things, but the mirror... that damned mirror... what did I see that day? Was it real? It had to have been. I saw it... the carnage... didn't I? No... I passed out... I woke up on a helicopter to a medical center, then to 73... What happened there? Why can't I remember it clearly? You'd think something like that would burn into your skull, imprint on your memory, but I CAN'T REMEMBER.

WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER?

I... I need help... I need to remember... I have to... 

Serpentem interfice. Ordinem in Chaos adfer.

Get out of my head.

My greatest failure. My mistake. The one time I should've been there.

I'm going insane.

Truly, insane.

I'm seeing her. Out of the corners of my eye.

Taunting me. Mocking me.

The conclusions they force me to come to.

I HATE IT. ALL OF IT.

IT FORCES ME TO SEE

FORCES THE TRUTH

MY FAILURE

HER

BETRAYAL

THE SNAKE WILL PAY

I WILL BRING ORDER TO CHAOS