Chapter 1
“I don't exist. It's a rule. If something exists, there's porn of it.”
Eric laughs with pure confusion.
“I haven't heard many ideas from you lately, Sal. Thanks for the input.”
“It's almost as if it's saved for a special occasion or so it doesn't get worn out, but every now in my dreams a beautiful version of Lorenze appears. Not physically, physically, he is the same. But he will grace me with this ethereal wisdom, the exact thing I needed to hear. I know dreams are created in my brain but I don't feel that way because sometimes random people talk to me and they’re speaking a level of Japanese I don't understand. I don't subconsciously know more of a language. I'll be losing pretty bad with an awful hand in poker and Lorenze will tell me the girl isn't worth chasing. Well, that's all I'm going to say, I can’t tell you guys more than that. If I started saying wild things from the moment this group I formed then maybe at this point I could say it but that's not this world. So pizza next week? Sal, I know you’ll only say yes if David and Lorenze say yes so I'll ask the other two first.”
“Maybe, it depends on if I have an essay or not.”
“Dammit David, get assignments on other days of the week.”
If someone were to ask me what point I gave up on life at, I would wonder why self deprivation and depression is an acceptable character trait to write about. What am I supposed to do? Act like I haven't heard that exact thing before? I don’t think any previous iteration of me would believe I’m going to make it to 24 with no notable efforts made in furthering my life. By life I am solely talking about movies or shows or any form of media that extends out of my head. I still have a few more months before hitting 24 but that will just mark 8 years since I realized I can’t do this on my own. They gave up on me a while ago, but every so often we get pizza. I don’t think I’ll ever tell David, Sal, or Lorenze I need them to capture my dreams and finish what I started when I picked up that camera. I met with Daniel not that long ago, he got away from me Sophmore year, for some reason it seemed like being away from me all that time ended up better for him. He only made it into one video. I think that was the video I realized it was time to put down the camera and stop trying to make something out of nothing when I'm with everyone. It seems like I fell into a dark hole because I relied on myself to do anything.
“He missed an entire day with no communication. His shift was for 3P.M., he had the whole day to check if he was scheduled and either call in sick or try and make it.”
“Are you authorized to give strikes David?”
“The manager is going to scold him but nothing is ever going to change. He's just going to do something just as stupid next week.”
“Better people is probably always the best solution but workers like you are hard to find. The only complaint about you is from Sal because he thinks you owe him Napoleon ice cream.”
“Well Sal has to buy it himself.”
“LORENZE! Lorenze. It’s me, Eric. What are you doing? Are you on a walk?”
I think I run across Lorenze purely by chance. Being in the same town doesn’t equate to anything. There aren't high chances of us stumbling into each other because Lorenze marches through the breeze of empty roads when moonlight is all that’s left. It’s not that I have a curfew, there just seems to be nothing to do past 8P.M.. David I can find, but actually I don’t think I stumble across him at all. It’s not that it’s about the power of friendship or something, I'm just thinking about my standings with members of the MCT. Sal is the one I know I’ll never see just walking aimlessly. I can’t think of any stores I would catch him at. Maybe pestering David about Napoleon ice cream but in that case I would probably be the one driving him there. I wonder what he’s up to, but then again I don’t think he wonders what I’m up to, probably because I pester him with whatever recent events I have to tell him.
Other than that it’s just a standard life for me. The fact I don’t have a single short film or movie haunts me to this day. I have nothing to say when I introduce myself. Sometimes I pause and wonder if I should say, “I could’ve been a really great filmmaker.” I don’t even know who I would be introducing myself to.
At the local post office two people that know each other just barely enough to stop and say hi to each other, stop to do the obligatory deed.
“This guy was bending medal and stuff like that. He was old, barely any muscle. You should ask Eric about it. I guess we’ll just assume he knows Kung fu. I used to think it’s some bull shit but someone showed up at the same boxing gym and for some reason it felt convincing. He called it chi and he just said he meditates or something for like 8 hours a day and that he has full control over his human and spiritual form or something.”
Sal looks back at Eduardo, then turns to look at Edgar who is a better representation of the last form he saw Eduardo as.
“You should stop by the gym sometime. I’ll hook you up with a good discount.”
I haven’t spoken or seen Sal in maybe 4 months. Even the stories seem to run low. Nothing worth sharing with Sal. Maybe it’s been less than four months, he sends some cryptic memes every now and then. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be thinking about what movie to make when I can’t even find hope in my cast.
Chapter 2
“Daniel? What are you doing back in town?”
In a rushed manor Daniel exclaims; “I thought you would be the one to start the conversation about how everything has gone to shit, how this land is turning into hell.”
“I realized there isn’t much I can do. I don’t have anything left in me, can you believe I got a regular 9 to 5? I don’t have it in me to create anything, no way I have enough to stop anything or anyone. I don’t need you to show up anymore, I don’t need any of you to show up anymore.”
“What's the point of a dream then?”
“Well, when I wake up and realize none of it was real and nothing is ever going to change, my day feels like a nightmare.”
I’m not a superstitious person, I don’t believe in luck. Chances to me are 50-50 or 80-20 if I’m the one going to get fucked or not. It’s just a coincidence if I run by someone I was thinking about. I must have heard it right at the cusp of falling asleep. Daniel is the only one who texts me through normal messages, I probably just heard the ding. Yup, Real world Daniel texted.
“I’m primarily joking when I say this but in my head I am haunted by all these stories I didn’t get to write. It would’ve been a better life if I practiced and kept learning how to draw. That might have been the best medium for me, I could’ve done it on my own and I could’ve captured the subtext of a scene without having to spell it out in a book. Without spelling it out because people still like subtext in a book I guess. Pablo?”
“Sorry, I just stepped out to use the bathroom.”
“It’s fine, have you heard from Daniel lately?”
“The last time I heard anything about Daniel, you just said his name in passing. So you saw him last. Did you respond to that text from him?”
“How did you know?”
“You didn’t even swipe off the notification from your phone.”
“I usually just put things off into the world of worry and then wait until they fade into an afterthought, I don’t know what he has to say. I have a feeling it’s not good. I see memes sometimes about people wondering how people can go months without opening a message. I don't know if I've ever been on the receiving end but when I do it to people I really feel every single day. Then it keeps slowly drifting and then what seemed like a good time to talk disappears.”
“I mean, I just respond like a normal person.”
“That’s true about you, I mean that’s why we’re having pop tarts together and I haven’t seen Daniel in quite a while.”
“I can’t remember if I saw Daniel or Eduardo last, the only reason I say is because it must have been a day apart and Eduardo was pitching some random drugs or something. Something about awakening or who knows, wait I do know. I walked away before Eduardo could finish his sentence because I didn’t really care and then I bumped into Daniel and the first thing he brought up was how you two just went to this mall in the middle of nowhere.”
“Well the mall here is about to be rubble in probably less than a year’s time.”
Our lives may just be this monotonous clump of random events that seem to be something bigger than they are. I never thought there would be a perfect ending for something outside of man-made media, but why bother trying to send yourself off with fireworks. So what if the last time I ever see people we end the conversation in mutual agreement we should hang out sometime. I could have their address, their cell phone number, their email address, and their grandpa’s phone number, it would still be a miracle if I see those people again. It’s so far detached from the idea that orchestral music should be playing as people walk separate ways to the distance found inside any person’s heart deems is too far to turn at. Every single day I wait for something even remotely interesting to happen and I wonder why because at the end of the day I’m telling nobody about a vaguely interesting thing. It’s sad because I know that I have to ramp up the story just so even I can find it worth telling. 30 cents on the floor? No, how about 300 dollars on the floor and I have to find the owner through a series of clues that could have only feasibly been created in my head. Every single day I just wait for something. That’s how all the stories I watch start, an establishment of normality with connections to a life not far from your own and then suddenly, bam we get taken along for either one of the greatest love stories or a magical adventure I could only dream of. It’s always the same thing, it’s always going to be the same thing, when I wake up in this hell I wonder if I could go back into my head to live in my imagination.
My opinion of my life changed when I realized I didn’t know what stories I have to tell. Well that’s the end of my story, for the rest of my life that’s the way it’s going to be. Trying to make something interesting to tell out of nothing at all.
There’s a world out there and I’m waiting for someone to take my hand and drag me there. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I waited for my driver’s license so I could go anywhere. Yet after all these years I still can’t bring myself to a place where people are. I locked myself in a place where nothing but bad things pile up and I can’t help being stuck to nothing, restricted by nothing. I didn’t need to state it out loud, I knew it from the start, depression isn’t a character trait. It was never my story to begin with, it was never going to be my story.
I wonder what Daniel said. In the end only 2 days passed before I opened the text.
“Eric, where are you?”
When did I schedule Daniel? I don’t remember saying anything that would warrant this. I’m not sure how to respond.
“Hey Daniel, I’m not sure how to respond.”
“You’re not going to believe me over text, in fact you’re not going to believe the reason in person either. I’m back in town, for good I guess.”
Why did I wait to respond, I know the next line and now it’s just going to make me even more depressed. Oh wait Daniel is typing another line, should I wait or… I mean I type it out naturally, it comes out of my mouth naturally and I’m sure people can read me when I say it.
“We should hang out sometime.”
“I got everyone on track, Pablo is coming, Eduardo is coming, Lorenze, and David. Let’s meet at Hillsdale. Just as soon as you can, no rush. Sorry can’t text much, driving now.”
So that’s what he was typing, I guess he just knew or something. I wonder why he didn’t invite Sal, I mean I could ask Sal but he might not even be awake. I didn’t plan this whole thing either so I guess I can’t just add guests to the list, especially if we’re eating and Daniel is paying.
“He just came and stopped by my gym, I’m not using him as promotion material because he’s not a regular. He was assigned to show it off. I’m just telling you the power he had was beyond human. I don’t even think there is a point in us trying to learn from him.”
“Then what the fuck is your point Eduardo.”
Pablo was tired of Eduardo’s bullshit. To counter Pablo’s blunt response, Eduardo got straight to the point.
“If we gather all of them we can make them make a forcefield, even like an inch. Think about how cool that would be to see something not usually done by humans.”
“You have been going on about this for so fucking long and that’s your final hook to this point? Do you really feel that point is worth it to exclaim at the top of your lungs. Right now that has to be the only thing I’ve heard you talk about for months. I can’t imagine how many others you’ve been bothering with the same thing.”
Daniel’s face was glowing with this concern, about what? I only wish I knew, it might be because he figured out now that he’s closer to me. Maybe his life will revert to the awful days he had with me. I don’t actually think that’s it, I’m just having this mean streak attacking myself. That concerned look still worries me no matter what. I don’t think I have anything to do with it though, he’s made eye contact with me a few times and didn’t break for no apparent reason. Finally, I could tell he had something to say but he just didn’t make it there yet.
“It’s only going to be the four of us, it was too last minute for the others.”
Pablo didn’t spare a single microsecond to respond, “We don’t need more people here to be harassed by Eduardo. Seriously, who do you think has a major takeaway from this thing you’ve been pitching for how long now?”
“It must have been 2 years ago since I first saw him do that demonstration. The first thing he did was calmly grab our metal trash can and then he folded it into 5. I still have that trashcan but nobody believes a person bent it. Then he made fire.”
“He must have roofied your protein powder.”
“Thank you Eric.”
Okay, I want to figure out what is going on here. Eduardo has car keys, so does Daniel, Pablo has a faint outline on his back left pocket. Did Daniel pick up Pablo? I don’t know where Daniel is saying so I can’t say if he went out of his way or not to get Pablo. If he picked up Pablo then that would mean Pablo would know what this is all about, that look on Daniel’s face. It’s something. Gotta take a leap of faith here.
“Eduardo, I think you have to go to the bathroom.”
Pablo, apparently being the king of responding in fractions of seconds; “He’s telling you to fuck off.” Or maybe his hatred just runs deep for the topic Eduardo keeps bringing up. This is the first time I’ve heard him say it. I wonder if I feel bad that I didn’t hear him out, I won’t lose sleep on it unfortunately. One day soon I’ll see Eduardo again and we can talk, hopefully he listens to whatever I have to say also.
“Did you drive Pablo here?”
“I drove myself, I actually was the first here. I was just about to leave actually, I guess I’ll be seeing both of you again soon.”
“Wait did Eduardo leave?”
“Yeah.” I don’t think the punctuation on my sentence left my mouth. I’m not even sure if words left my mouth, I guess it’s something about the whole fighting thing Eduardo is on.
“Not excited to be back? I was just thinking about how a 2 and a half hour drive really isn’t that bad one way. I mean I have to pack backup clothes when I go an hour away just in case I don’t make it back but with all the free days I had I should’ve come more. Hopefully that broke the ice enough for you to say whatever you have to.”
“Nothing of that sort.”
“Watermelon, the limited edition watermelon flavor pop tarts. They were such a big thing in my life, and I don’t know if it was contagious but I saw the rest of the group eating them. 10 years ago already, I know you don’t remember them because my life was the limited edition flavor and your’s was and still is the still continued flavor, carrying on and consistently growing in value.”
“Since when did you start speaking like this?”
“So you don’t remember me this way? I don’t either, I started working full time in an office of all old people. They don’t even recognize that I’m speaking English. I still have jokes in me and if I’m not writing any stories anymore then my creativity will die. Like the limited time of watermelon Pop tarts. Please help me Daniel”
Chapter 3
“I guess it’s okay for you to talk like that around me.”
It feels like the years keep piling up as I walk around with Daniel, not just because it’s been a matter of years but because whatever he has to say is killing me. I was anticipating something huge but every single silent step we take I can’t tell if we’re straying further or if it really is getting even larger.
“Ice cream? They have matcha swirl with vanilla. My treat.”
“I don’t like that tea stuff. Vanilla in a cup, and don’t worry I will pay for myself.”
“Does it hurt to be back? Or is someone hurting you to be back?”
“Remember we were offered free tarot card readings and the whole time you locked eyes with the big crystal and when the reader could tell you wanted to steal it?”
“Well. I just wanted to touch it.”
“But I had to tell you not to be superstitious if it hurts. Then you told me you’re not superstitious and then later that day a bird shit on you and then you slipped 3 times coming out of the bathroom. My point is you’re not the candidate to believe what I’m about to say. I don’t do fortune telling, there’s better uses of money. My friend brought me to one because it was buy one get one free. She said ‘flee, to El Salvador, to Japan.’ I don’t think I’ll think anything of that but I saw her a week later working at the local supermarket and she had such a dead look in her eyes. Her shop was closed and everything inside was just sitting there. I guess you would be the one to know how expensive some of those things are. I feel so stupid for listening to someone like that.” There was conflict in everything he said, he had these unnatural pauses that even in the moment I couldn’t distinguish if they were awkward or not. I couldn’t tell what score would be perfect to accompany what he said. It wasn’t really eerie, it was just a weird chain of events that ended him up back here. After the longest pause he looked at me and said; “I shouldn’t have come back.”
I keep trying to figure out something smart to say, there’s this beautiful quote from Nichijou that I was going to indirectly say. I feel like everytime I watch the series I understand more about what Mio was trying to say. ‘Our everyday lives might just be a series of miracles’, that’s when she realizes how important her friends are to her. It was a truly beautiful scene but I guess the quote alone doesn’t make sense unless the entirety of the episode was explained. Or I could tell him that there’s no such thing as a wrong decision but then I will end up on a completely different topic about how that only applied to other people and my decisions are all terrible. I always end up in an awful place or in an awful situation.
“You make good decisions, I don't. I tell people the best decision is opposite of what I do or think. You know, honestly in this situation my decision for you would be to come back to live in this town… So that’s not really a good look for you. Sorry.”
I wonder if he thought I calculated all the options for responses and then picked the worst one. I feel bad.
“I think I realized not long ago that as a group we’re never going to end up in a place like Japan, or Europe… I don’t even think we’ll end up in a car together for more than an hour's travel time. The sad thing is that we don’t even get together anymore. We’re all living our lives separately within walking distance of each other. It’s good to see everyone whenever I can.” At this point I felt like I lost all the meaning to my words. I don’t think Daniel said that to ask for advice, I think it was just on his mind and now he’s realizing I haven’t aged a single day since he left town.
I’ve been telling these lies for so long. I have to stop and realize the only people that I enjoy talking to I must have met over 10 years ago. Meeting people at this age is like pointlessly entering random showings at an endless theater. I still can't shake the feeling that there was more of something to why Daniel brought me here. Maybe there’s something wrong with my perception but as we walk around it still feels like he has something to say.
“You ever get excited to see an ice cream shop but then get disappointed because you already had the idea to have ice cream and now it seems like such a second rate idea?”
“What do you want to do with your life?”
“Hearing that question from you takes me back. I don’t know if my answer being the same is sad or hopeful. Now that I’m basically 24, what’s the point in even thinking about it anymore? If I didn’t start by now…”
“There’s still a lot of time. Overall, I know what I want to do, but as of right now I’ve gotten good opportunities. As long as it feels like a step up then I’ll take it.”
“I just want to see something interesting happen in my life.”
I hate hearing things like “If you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” I get it, jobs are important to society, at least some of them are probably. That’s the thing though, it’s all up to the person, anyone can think their job is important, even if it is stocking the adult shop at 3 A.M.. Well, I guess there is some chain of events that would make something very important. I wonder what made me so bitter. I used to wake up with no alarm clock, ready for the day and I would share with everyone all the ideas for stories I had until they got annoyed. Then I kept going on about it for longer.
I don't remember what else Daniel and I talked about after he asked me about my life. If I don't remember it then it's not important, that's a rule most people live by. But maybe the stress of remembering causes fog in the brain, altering importance. That's mostly for if I forgot cheese at the grocery store. I hope Daniel doesn't think too much about my statement, I guess I don't need anything interesting to happen really. Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, even if it's just once a month, going to eat out for dinner is enough to keep me going Monday to Friday. This life was lived before, same actions, same outcomes. I don't really need original ideas for happiness either. I can spend my time shot for shot recreating anything that my brain considers sparkly and I'd be happy. I’d love to go to Japan and follow the same path Kyon did going to school. I don't want to pave a new way into unknown territory, diseases and possible injuries? Nah, I can pass on that, I'll create my own world for my own enjoyment. Maybe someday, Saturday or Sunday, I'll just fall deep into my dream world and stay there the whole day.
I have a feeling that groups are going to be re-established. Not for preference sake, it’s usually going to be one group one day and the other group the other with a big crossover event for big events. I guess the next big event is Daniel’s birthday. Sal and I used to be the ones behind making videos for him every year, not actual videos with a lot of thought or story to them. Just a greeting charm for the most part. I guess finally we’re all back so we can just celebrate it normally.
I think the hardest thing for me is watching all the years go by, there’s not really seasons, it gets cold but it doesn’t snow. It’s just like that and then another year passes and I’m wondering what I’m doing because last year it felt exactly the damn same. It could be two years ago or just a few weeks ago, it feels all the same. I think Daniel knows what I’m feeling I think.
It was just a week until I saw Daniel again. I invited him to go to this Chinese place but we ended up in some burger joint that was concerningly pricey. After that we went to his house which had a bare bones garage with just a few moving boxes in the corner and two chairs made out of some type of bungee material. We had invited Pablo but I guess Daniel didn’t have another chair ready. I wondered which one of us would be the first to give up our seat. So what, I didn’t have and never will have this interesting story happen to me that I can retell for the rest of my life. Or maybe even base a show off of it. I still don’t really get what Daniel came back for but I don’t know if it was the timing or if it was because of Daniel, but I’m content with my life now. Even if all of us fade into the deepest parts of each other's minds, I can still find enjoyment in something else. Maybe I’ll just eat a pint of ice cream a day and then have my body cut apart piece by piece until it’s my time. Actually, you know what, I am not content with that but right now, as Pablo parks and walks in our direction and Daniel gets up, I’m content.
"Clouds at night look nice sometimes. Stars look good too... Shit. Uhhh, Pablo. On your drive here. Were there clouds?
The concern in his voice. This is why Daniel came here. It’s not about the sky or anything, he has something big to say and it’s coming out right now. It’s only been a week but I knew it all along. Wait.
“Peaking through the clouds, what’s happening? Do you guys see it?”
Pablo and I stood next to Daniel in pure silence. Heat started to radiate from my ears and it felt like I was going to lose hearing entirely. I don’t know what happened next, my hands starting to tremble or me gagging from lack of air.
I hope it’s just something across the galaxy peaking back at us on that small window we could see through. The opening keeps moving over panning ever so slightly and it’s looking like it’s covering the whole sky.
I heard stories about when there was a huge blackout in Los Angeles, people went crazy because an ominous blue and purple haze covered the sky. I’ve always wanted to see the galaxy in real life. I’m sure we all had different thoughts leading up until this moment but it feels like we all got ready to admit it in our minds at least what was happening. The night sky behind the clouds was rolling up. I’m sure none of us wanted to say it out loud because there’s no reference to anything in this world that we can connect this to. A scroll or a curtain or something. The sky with all the stars in it was rolling. It was rolling itself straight up from the direction we were looking at it. Maybe the others thought it was something like a steam roller collecting the stars, but to me it looked like some wallpaper wanting to go back to its original shape. It’s fast enough to notice it’s happening but it’s slow enough to gather everyone to watch its spectacle. The hue of the sky left behind was something far beyond what I could imagine. Maybe it was knowing there aren't stars to shine, but it didn’t look like a color, it felt empty. Across the horizon the clouds started to disappear into the background and I noticed that the clouds were only staying grey in the natural path of the stars. But the moon is still there so this has to be in my brain, I can’t tell if the moon is splitting in half or if something is clogging my mind. I don’t know if either of the two even said anything, my ears hurt. I don’t know this feeling.
Chapter 4
“Let’s get in a car and go.” The sense of urgency covered the fear in Daniel’s voice.
“Go where? There’s nothing we can do.” I just noticed since Pablo got here he hasn’t said anything yet. His body still seemed to be reacting to what was going on. He grabbed the keys that moments ago he just put in his pocket and then we all headed to his car.
“We have to go somewhere where there aren’t any clouds. I don’t want to believe this is happening until I see the whole sky.”
“Pablo, I’ll drive, you two should be better at searching around if anyone has said anything.”
The initial shock of seeing that sight seemingly faded, but Daniel was right. We could all be hallucinating right now together.
“Across the bridge there’s this lookout point I used to go to when I was younger.”
“I don’t want to waste your gas, but we can head that direction and hopefully stop sooner.”
We only drove for about 5 minutes before that awful feeling started again. My hands started trembling and I could feel every individual drop of sweat either gather and help loosen this destructively tight grip I had on Pablo’s steering wheel. It could be a normal night for those that don’t know. I don’t understand the standing of the world, there’s still light, there’s still gravity, but I feel like I’m watching my own life in third person. I feel like I’m standing behind myself only feeling the heat burning my ears and feeling my heart that could strike well over 200 beats per minute. Pablo’s car was a two door so he had to make sure Daniel could get out before closing the door. It felt like we didn’t move at all because all three of us were in the same position looking up. Daniel was the first one to fully look around. There were no stars left in the sky, it wasn’t a problem with a stronger light radiating closer. The point we stopped at was this residential area on a hill, there was a patch of dirt for cars with flat tires to pull over in but it was 9P.M., nobody else would be coming. I wonder if we looked across the whole town would we find anyone else walking the same path as us. I couldn’t tell what Pablo was doing on his phone on the drive over but he kept turning the screen off and looking out the window. I didn’t want to ask if he heard anything from anyone else because I thought if he had it in him to say it, he would just say it.
This time Pablo drove us back to Daniel’s house, he barely said anything, we didn’t talk about anything else. I don’t know why I sat back down, I should have let Daniel be on his own, he knows what he saw was validated by the two of us.
He started to speak with a crackle in his voice; “What if we were the only 3 to see it?”
“I doubt it, there has to be a kid or someone else looking up at the sky.”
“Why wouldn’t the space station or nasa report it by now?”
“I don’t think they want to invoke fear in everyone.”
“And leave the people who saw it in nothing but pure fear. Pablo had to have been thinking the same thing, there were no reports on it by anyone. I wanted to post something about it but who would even believe me?”
“The moon still has light, that means the sun is still shining on the other side of the world right now.”
“What do you think happened on the other side of the world? It rolled straight up in the position we were in. Do you think it rolled up like 2 domes around the world, then that means the other half of the world didn’t see it.”
“I’m glad we’re at a point where we can talk again. I think the sky was peeled like a banana.”
“Are you seriously joking about this all, we might not wake up to a world tomorrow. I don’t think I can sleep and combined with the fact I know nobody will believe me if I say what happened, this is going to end up bad.”
“I don’t think there is anything we can do to change something like this. Take care of yourself. I’m going to go home now.”
I don’t know which of the two seemed to be handling it the worst. Honestly maybe it might be me, I’ve gotten good at ignoring what’s going on but every single time I think about my situation it’s the same feeling. It’s the feeling beyond embarrassment even though that’s not in the same category. I feel the heat in my face sometimes seemingly at random, I don’t even want to think what shade of red I’ll turn. I never felt any signs of blushing and I barely drink but even if I had more experience being red the burning feeling in my ears will never feel relatively okay.
I don’t know what got in me but it’s been so long since I spoke with John. I stray away too easily…Ring ring…
“John? What are you doing picking up the phone at this hour?”
“I just finished a stream actually, I try to answer the phone if I can. What are you calling about?”
“I was just thinking there’s a world where you didn’t move away. I think about rewriting the world sometimes, just a story following events if one thing happened and another didn’t. I think the only way to make it interesting is going further back. Since this is a hobby of mine I go through a lot of things, this current rewrite starts with you sticking around.”
“What? I don’t get it. Is it supposed to be a joke?”
“Did you get any part of it?”
“No.”
“You think if you stayed in town we would’ve had a television show by now?”
“Well I don’t really want that now. I don’t remember if I wanted that back then, but I mean if we got the chance then I would’ve done it.”
I’m starting to wonder if this is the point where I ask him what he’s up to. It’s been 6 years since I last spoke with him. Such a waste of time to do that at the start, I think it’s better to just jump right back into things and then on the downtime when there’s actually nothing to talk about then that’s the time to play catch up.
“Okay Eric, nice talking to you, I gotta go. I’ll be the one to call next time, see ya.”
“Okay, yeah, see you.”
I mean my life could be good and I just don’t know it. Yeah, maybe it is a good life.
You know, I should call Lorenze… Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring……. Yeah okay he’s not picking up. I think David will pick up, or will he? Maybe I shouldn’t call him because I know he will probably pick up and I don’t want to distract him just at this moment. Sal’s next… Ring Ring Ring Ring… that seemed like a 50-50. It’s out of nowhere but I guess now it’s time for David.
“I don’t know if you remember John but I just got off the phone with him. I tried calling Lorenze and Sal but they didn’t want to answer.”
“I think Sal is in Japan, I don’t think Lorenze will pick up if you call him.”
“If I’m the last person that can save him from danger I don’t think he would pick up my call.”
“...And Sal?”
“He’s in Japan, no way, he’s stealing my ideas.”
“What do you want?”
“Nothing actually. I was just thinking I never make any efforts to talk to any of you guys, it’s so pitiful to think about. I waste my time and my life and because I don’t want to bring you guys down so I just stick to myself. You can say I’m wrong but maybe we all need more adventures together.”
“You are wrong.”
“Okay, thank you… So pizza Friday?”
“Sure.”
I don’t even remember the last time I tried to call someone. I barely speak with these guys, especially John, but I can’t even remember if I called recently to order a pizza. I bet Daniel has no words that could even leave his mouth, Pablo might be alright. I don’t want to assume I’m doing better than them but I feel if I could give advice to Daniel, maybe I would tell him about how I got fixated on the moon also and that’s something else to run around in my head. I mean, like I was talking with them about, the moon is still shining so the sun is still on the other side of the world. I know if I go to sleep the sun will shine tomorrow. I guess I got myself into a place where I can sleep.
Chapter 5
I learnt late in life that the stars don't disappear in the daytime, they’re just out shined by a closer one. Sounds childish and primitive to most, but to some it might as well be witchcraft. I don't know what to think, maybe there's no problems because I can't see them. Surely, by the end of the day there has to be this big stir up in the world.
I haven’t checked my phone yet, I wonder if Daniel or if anyone said anything. Given the situation maybe I shouldn’t be excited for someone to call me but it’s nice to know something unexpected might come.
Alright, nobody texted me, nobody called me, I don’t know if they know something bad might happen but at least 2 crypto scammers on whatsap messaged me. I guess even if something like the third impact is about to happen they would want to go out to what they lived their life by, negative dignity and stolen money.
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I can show up unannounced, on my own, randomly, but maybe Daniel will accept me this time. Without any hesitation he was the one to start up the conversation.
“How have you been?”
“Just waiting for something interesting to happen. The sun is up, clouds are forming, I spoke with a few people yesterday, no mention of anything other than idle chat. Did you get some sleep?”
“I slept when the sun came up. My biggest worry was if we were ever going to get to see daylight again.”
Now isn’t the time to try and tell him that I’m right, I told him if the moon is still shining it’s reflecting something. It’s tense, he hasn’t made eye contact with me yet but I know when he finally does it’s going to be an unbroken, uninterrupted stare down. It’s sad to think about but I have no idea what Daniel likes, I’m pretty sure he’s not against shopping. Is he a hiker or a nature person? If he likes the city then I don’t know what to do about that because I can’t stand the city right now, there’s loads of feces painting the ground in an everlasting sludge. Something has to break his mind away from this…
“Let’s go get some ice cream. A really good one. Let’s get the 12 dollar pint from the fancy artisan grocery store and some waffle cones.”
“Why are you obsessed with ice cream and sweets?”
“I don’t like the way sweet things leave my mouth actually. Do you get what I was going for, we can at least try to be positive. Nothing that affects us has happened yet.”
In the distance I heard the most random noise I could imagine. If I didn’t turn to look I don’t think I would’ve ever figured out what it was, Daniel was equally as shocked. I turned and to the right of me there was this man in regular clothes riding a horse on a residential street going God knows where. The horse was a really pale shade of brown, in this sunlight it was basically white. I know that guy saw us both stare him down but he just kept his eyes on the road, maybe he was too used to people looking. I was expecting a howdy from him because I don’t think anything will be able to leave my mouth. I think this is a bigger shock to me than what happened yesterday, without the bone chilling shock and heart rate coming through my tongue.
“I swear that horse looked at me and said ‘come, join me.’”
It’s been a while since I’ve seen Daniel put on a different face but I guess that got a laugh out of him. It doesn’t seem like Daniel wants to go anywhere.
“I think I’ll go to work today maybe.”
“Really? You’re going to work, what if…”
“If ‘what if’ happens then I’ll deal with it then.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“How do you stay positive after something like yesterday?”
“I think this is the best I’ve been in a while. I told you I spoke with others yesterday, David told me Sal is in Japan right now.”
The look Daniel gave me was like he was trying to piece something together. To be honest, I don’t know how well Sal knows Daniel, I keep thinking that surely they’ve spoken with each other. For some reason I don’t remember ever seeing them talk. I left Daniel’s house at about 11:20, there’s no difference between an hour late to work or 5 hours late. It’s almost as if I was asking for a perfectly timed distraction to pop up, grabbing me by the hand and taking me on an adventure. Instead I found Lorenze on a walk, close enough.
“Lorenze! LORENZE. It’s me, Eric, what are you doing, just kidding. I know you’re on a walk, I don’t know if it’s getting harder for you to avoid me but today I am inescapable.”
This time I didn’t make him stray too much from the path he already had set. I don’t know where he starts but I memorized what he does after the point I catch him at. I’m starting to think Lorenze is the only person that can sit in a room with me in pure silence and not once will he start a conversation. It used to be different, in the good old times when Daniel was still around. Not a single word from him to start any conversation. Even after asking anything to him he either gives the shortest response possible or if my question was too deep, which it never actually is, he just carries on, not saying a thing. Still I treasure this time, not only because I hate working, but because it’s nice to have an unsuspected surprise. I complained if things like this would ever really happen and I guess Lorenze smashed that complaint. Maybe I will tell him this, wait why is he turning my way.
“I saw it.”
“Can you still paint a picture of the stars in your head?” Usually I would act clueless just to make sure that we are in fact talking about the same thing but for some reason after him saying that I picked it up.
“It’s okay, David is the only star on this planet we need.”
“I’ve always had this feeling that David was destined to be an actor, or even singer maybe, star for sure. For now I guess he only shines bright to us.” After a brief pause and total subversion of eye contact I continued; “David told me yesterday Sal is in Japan.”
“David saw it too.”
“Were you two together?”
“No, he called me after you tried to call me.”
“Did he say anything about Sal?”
I’m not sure if I was expecting Lorenze to respond to that, not because it was a difficult question but because I think he reached the maximum amount that he’s allowed to respond to me. Even if I ask him if he’s still there, as he’s right next to me he might not respond.
“If the whole world shines brighter than any star could’ve, do you think a mirror on the other side of the universe will make us shine brightly on what’s left of the world millions of years later?”
I had a feeling Lorenze wasn't going to respond to that. But damn I can feel his glare even through his blue sunglasses. It's piercing through the part of my temple in front of my ear. I don't really have good peripheral vision but with the knowledge I have on Lorenze I know exactly the look he’s giving me right now. Not a single thing to break it either, he ate a bag of cool ranch Doritos once and gave David this same look after David criticized cool ranch Doritos.
Welp, Lorenze doesn't ever say bye really but I have to do the obligatory farewell so he can be relieved I’m out of his life for the rest of the day, possibly the hour. I wonder if Lorenze is anticipating what’s going to happen tonight, if anything. First day the stars in the night sky roll away, maybe the second they will be rolled back down. Then life will continue as normal, no one spoke about it, but apparently 5 people have seen it. Walking to work now just feels so empty, Lorenze could be walking into a mystical adventure and here I am going to work. At the beginning I said I’ll just put my head down and make money so one day I can reap the rewards. I think today a feeling came over me.
“Wait Lorenze! I kinda knew your path so I was able to catch up. Let’s join Sal in Japan. Daniel, Daniel wants to come I think. The whole group, let’s all go.”
I don’t know if I missed something or what but he did not flinch a single bit and still he’s just continuing to walk. He might be able to completely move his eye to the corner to see me while I’m at a 90 degree angle of the direction he’s facing. To me it looks like he’s just continuing on, looking straight, without a single bit of hesitation.
“Even in the darkness of this bitter world, surely you’ll shine.”
I think I saw a reaction out of him, he knew what song I was referencing. It's supposed to be in Japanese but in his heart I’m sure Lorenze gets what I'm trying to say.
“I'm going to keep on walking.”
I guess that's as good of a goodbye I'll get from Lorenze. What a feeling, I recognize that at some point I might have made their life worse but I’m always sad when I offer them the opportunities I've been waiting for someone to offer me.
The biggest thing I still can't believe is the fact that Sal basically did steal my idea. I want to go to Japan, right now actually. I'm not quite sure what Daniel will say actually, but I bet if Daniel and David agree, Sal having already agreed by the fact he’s there already, Lorenze might change his mind. Nothing feels better than blowing off obligations and just running away, especially into the land of the sun.
Chapter 6
The next action of the day was already set in stone for me from the time I decided to rally everyone up to go to Japan. There probably was a more sensical way to do this but for some reason I thought coming straight back to Daniel’s house was the best option. Work is hard on me, it’s hard on everyone there actually, and due to the lackluster amount of workers it’s just this hellzone especially if one out of the 5 in my section don’t show up. I think someone already claimed this term but I’ve been thinking about this whole “situational friend” and how hellscapes can bring people together. In the end it’s a temporary manner because it’s almost like the whole world knows if one person quits that’s the last you ever see of them. I don’t even think that’s the strangest thing about American work culture is, some of my senior coworkers, who have been married for decades are hitting on each other, it’s gross.
How am I going to show back up into Daniel’s life after leaving him basically 15 minutes prior. My whole thing with Lorenze was just like some sort of cutscene but I said bye to Daniel so I’m not quite sure of this dynamic. If he lived just a bit closer I wouldn’t have to put this much thought into this. I'd just get in the car and be there, no time to overthink anything.
“I saw Lorenze, we spoke for a little… I guess, and now I have returned.” I think the biggest thing was that I didn’t want to just drop how we’re going to Japan first. Since I first saw fear in Daniel’s eyes my idea to help him was to subvert his thought process and turn it all around and finally end up doing something. If he doesn’t want to accept the adventure, what am I supposed to do? Stick around waiting for another astrological event.
“Let’s go to Japan.” I didn’t want to mention how Sal is already there because he had some sort of reaction to it and I don’t want that getting in the way.
“Why do we want to follow Sal?”
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, I already brought it up and I doubt he would just forget for no reason. “We’re not following him there, he just got a head start to the journey.”
“Sal didn’t see it, he couldn’t have seen it. It must have been the middle of the day in Japan. I called Varun, he saw it. It’s like the whole entire world didn’t see it except for the people that you and I both know.”
“I don’t know if I should be telling you this but Lorenze and David saw it also. I mean, I’m not sure, is it more comforting knowing people saw what we saw or is it more concerning that everyone is continuing their lives. I think I told you this before but my favorite place to be is blocked off from me because of transportation and something inside me holding me back. A place where everyone is simply, not here, or not there. I had dreams about all these places I couldn’t come close to finding in the real world. I wanted to step into a y2k doomsday bunker, untouched since the second day of the new millennium after the owner realized he was scammed. You get my point right? Why live in fear, especially when you have enough money to build and stock a bunker?”
“If your plan was to throw me off by saying a bunch of random things, it worked. Every single time you’ve opened your mouth my mind has been off of what I saw and what I heard.”
“I’m not usually the one to suggest drinking, but if you want to as we watch this whole mess unfold, I will entertain it.”
“I don’t drink often. Even if I were to, the sun is still up.”
“For now.”
That felt like some cold air hit the inside of my ear and my body went straight into trying to cover myself in goosebumps without anything actually happening. Part of me was only able to tell Daniel I thought I heard the horse speak because I knew it would be dismissed as a joke. I heard that same distant echo, I thought nothing would be able to really mess with me but maybe I never really changed and I was always made to be this way.
“I used to think about how if I leave my house there’s a higher chance of me feeling regret and pain then there is me enjoying the day. It made me feel locked in my house. I think it paired perfectly with the fact that I started to get paranoid of everything that I heard. I thought I’d take some time to remember that time when I end up on the polar opposite side.”
“I want to say we’re all going to be okay. But do you think a war will break out? We lost basically all our foreign support.”
“I don't like it when you say ‘we’ like that. You mean the country? That's not my decision and it's not yours. Honestly that will be the day, a war breaks out at night with the stars stripped from the sky. What can the two of us do on a local scale? Pressure people into supporting us selling Costco muffins? I doubt anything we can do anything on a national level, on a cosmic level I guess we can try and turn our sun into a supernova. For the two of us, why don't we just try and shine as bright as possible and maybe we’ll see our reflections in others.”
“What is that from? One of your cartoons?”
“No, no, no. I'm not going to correct what you said just in case all my inner rage blows up, but I think Lorenze said that to me once. Or you know he spoke about the idea.”
“I never really got to talk much with Lorenze, what’s he like now? You just saw him today right?”
“I don't know what happened to him.”
“Is he okay?”
“I guess. I think everyone grew away from me. I think in the last 5 years sadly I’ve spoken more with my current coworkers than I have with Lorenze. We all just have the same complaints, but I don’t even think we get along. It’s this whole thing I think about how they’re just ‘situational friends’.”
“Oh, like us?”
“Middle and High School wasn’t this true hell…”
“For me it was, I always remember you screaming whenever we had to go back to class. It wasn’t even just class, it seemed like everyone hated you and you only complained about it to me.”
“Before I get defensive, I’m just going to say ‘fair enough’ and then move on.”
“But I’m right?”
“Well now there’s bigger things to worry about.” Daniel has always let out a slight smile everytime he best me.
Chapter 7
For some reason it feels really nice to be back in the exact same space I was not that long ago, Daniel and I bringing up and laughing about random stuff. I think one of the first things I spoke to him about was about making our voice bounce off the walls and hearing it bounce off the walls instead of through our thoughts of what we sound like. I remember watching some random video about it and then I tried to claim it as my own. I think we had to use all four of my notebooks and place them in between our mouths and ears. Then we would battle to see who would be weirded out first and who had to put the notebooks down and speak normally first. I think he was definitely better at that than I was.
I hate it when random flashes of darkness hit, maybe they call them reverse flashes. There was just one but usually I don’t acknowledge them first I wait for someone else to… and Daniel….
“Did you just see that?”
The sun will still be up for quite a few more hours and the light to his garage isn’t on, the garage door is open also so we can’t both be dying of carbon monoxide. “Weird.”
“What was that? Everything got dark just for a split second.”
“Maybe something blocked the sun for that time. A plane or eclipse?”
“Didn’t you used to be always updated on astrological events?”
“That seemed to be a short lived thing, nothing comes into my recommendations but then the day after I’m flooded with all these pictures of people enjoying whatever happened. I don’t think it was an eclipse, I think that it was within our world.”
Daniel reached for his phone and frustratingly pressed the on button more times like the problem was with the device. Almost instinctively I grabbed my phone but that was just for show. I still want to see what he’s up to. Oh wait, my phone is dead also.
“Eric… What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Check if your lights turn on. Is the power out everywhere?” I know I could go and be checking this stuff too but for some reason at times like this commands come out of my mouth. As he’s walking to the light my heart starts pacing again, I don’t know how many more times like these I can take.
“All the lightbulbs were new, all the power was working when I moved here.”
“Let’s go inside.” My first thought was to hit the button to close the garage door and even now I’m still wondering if I should manually pull it down but what will that help? Okay, it’s the same thing I keep telling myself, there’s no point in fueling eachother up with worry so I should try to not sound like the world is going to end. Of course none of the lights turn on, nothing electrical works. “I don’t want to feel locked in this house, let’s go outside, is that okay?”
I have to keep telling myself this is normal, I don’t want to look over and ride on Daniel’s fear. I sure hope that is a plane because a shade is coming from behind us with seemingly no end to it. I don’t hear a plane though and it would have to be quite low to cover that much of the sunlight at a time like this. Now that we’re outside I can see it’s several blocks away but I can see the fading back into the light, but to the left and the right I can still see the sun shining, is this coming for us?
“I don’t know if we’re going to see if the stars came back tonight.”
In some ways I’m glad Daniel said that because I know right now my voice would just be this shaky mess that sounds like I’m 3 seconds away from crying. The biggest thing is that I don’t like the fact that his observation has any chance of being true. The shadow is still passing and on my first glance up, beyond the clouds but far deep into the blue sky and into the haze there’s this skin tone thing passing. I can’t imagine how many buildings that thing would take out, I really hope it’s passing the Earth. I don’t know if it’s something with perspective but it’s changing space and it looks like it’s coming down. It’s acting on its own will it seems, it’s almost not affected at all by gravity. It’s coming down somewhere in the town.
As I was gasping for air I tried to scream at Daniel; “Get down, it’s going to hit.” He knew it was going to happen also. As expected this huge burst of wind hit us and it felt like it pushed something up and into my eyelid, I can’t imagine doing anything stupid enough that would prepare me for that feeling. Maybe testing the strongest leaf blower known to man right on my face. It looks like all the cars on the street have broken windows now, and their alarms are…? NO NO Nno no no, I’m deaf now. All I hear is ringing, fuck I’m deaf. I’m deaf.
“I’m deaf.” Yup I moved my mouth, I think sound came out but I can’t hear it. My eyes hurt too, my instinct is to rub it to the point where my eye might fall out. I feel something on my shoulder. I think I can get one of my eyes open but oh wait I can hear a little. All the alarms are going off…
“Eric, are you okay?”
Okay my initial panic might have been too much, I can hear again but I don’t think I can continue this conversation. I just want to lay down here. Something feels warm, this isn’t good, I hate cold feeling but this feels like I’m too close to a campfire. If I want to live I think I gotta get up, open back up my eyes and process. Maybe I smelt if first, about 3 houses down behind us there’s a burning house. It’s actually not that hot, the day feels the same but there’s cracks in the sidewalks. The weak points like where the tree roots broke the concrete have major splits like the trees are reclaiming the land.
“I just felt that gust, when is the earthquake coming Daniel?”
“You didn’t feel it? It happened at the same time. After you fell though.”
“The world smells wrong. There’s something wrong. I smell broken, brokenness.”
“You’re really shaken up. We have to carry on, simple things, we’ll be fine.”
I won’t question how Daniel knows how to survive, I feel like I owe my survival to him. Even if he just woke me up. I mean there’s no danger right now, or is there?
“We have to get higher up, I think we’re at sea level now. There might be a tsunami.”
“I thought I told you that.”
“Well whatever, come on let’s go.”
I was pretty annoying with random facts when Daniel and I used to walk around the school. Whatever popped into my brain would be shoved into Daniel’s as well. I always tell people to worry about the aftershock also because sometimes it could be bigger than the original shock. Well right now Daniel is saving me. I have no right to talk.
Daniel gave me a firm look and led me to a few large boxes where we unpacked his bikes. He gave me another glance before he started talking again, he started to speak as he turned his head to look straight. “If you see anything strange, if you see anything concerning, don’t stop and stare. Just follow me on my bike, there’s this path that leads us to basically the highest point I can think of. If you feel tired, you have to keep going.”
I don’t know much about bikes but he seemed to give me the better one, the other one looks like it was one he meant to sell to buy this one but he realized it wasn’t very valuable…
“Eric, let’s go.”
I don’t know if it’s because I just saw Lorenze but I hope he made it home and he’s okay. Everything is throwing me off but I know we made a right after his house and the road is almost nothing but cracked. There’s these small patches of smooth concrete, but even though this road looks like it was redone just a year ago, it looks like it was made weak and the trees are taking back over. Already my mouth is so parched it almost hurts, it feels like I can’t swallow but for some reason my brain keeps trying to make me inbetween when I’m panting. I don’t know if I can form any words and even if I could I’m too winded to try and talk. At least I know now isn’t the time for small talk or anything at all. Daniel looks like he’s doing well at least. It feels like I remember this path, it looks like some trees fell but I can’t see if some of the infrastructure is still there. It used to be a clear view for where we’re going… Oh shit. Now really isn’t the time for this. I don’t even want to think about how Daniel thought of this. This isn’t just any trail, this is The Trail.
Chapter 7.5
It’s scary, the entire world could be broken right now and non-existent the next. I guess right now I’m thinking more about how Daniel saved me. There’s nothing else flying through the air, there’s no hazards coming from above us. Right now it’s just process what’s in front, avoid any potholes and broken glass, and slow down for certain cracks. All I can think about is how Daniel got me to this point, my mouth is still almost entirely parched and my body is instinctively making this cough which just reminds me more how much I could use some water.
We approached this place I always simply called The Trail, it’s the only thing I ever really known it as. As the pavement turned into dried up pale dirt that was the first time Daniel had turned around to check on me. It must have been 3 or so miles to this point. I’m not really sure if he started to wonder if there was another big thing coming, would it have stricken us down by now?
“Do you want to change bikes?” Daniel said almost as if to present that he still has a voice unlike myself.
I keep trying to swallow or do something to make something come out of my mouth but I guess I just have to shake my head no. I guess so far it hasn’t even been the half of it, going up a dirt hill on a bike is even harder. I remember there being this flat section in just a little bit, I think I’ll tell Daniel I’ll meet him at the top because I don’t want to slow him down.
I get off my bike and then sit down without any caution. I don’t know if it was abrupt sitting down or everything catching up but I’m almost starting to see stars. Daniel notices and gets off his bike as well, laying it down flat. To try and process what’s going on I try to count how many trees look like they just freshly fell.
“I don’t think that was an asteroid.” Daniel said with a sense of questioning nearing the end.
This must be the first time I was able to catch my breath, I didn’t even notice how out of shape I’ve been until now. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline or what it was that pushed aside my fear.
“What do you think we’ll see at the top of this mountain?” Daniel seemed like he has an answer to everything, I just want to see what he has for this.
“The same thing… Not as in what we’ve been seeing on the way here but you know about the park up there right? It’s a normal play structure with some big slides.”
I think now definitely isn’t the time to tell him about how many times I’ve been there. “Probably some more trees that fell, and broken windows.”
“The further you are away from the rest of the world the more you’ll realize there’s not too much wrong.”
“At a time like this?”
“Especially at a time like this. At least where we are now we’re safer if a tsunami hits, but we’ll try to reach the top soon.”
“I don’t get how this works. That wasn’t an earthquake, there won’t be an aftershock, what do you think even hit us?” As that last question was leaving my mouth I think I realized that we have a decent chance of seeing whatever we saw earlier at the top. My eyes just met with Daniel’s and I know he knows we’re thinking the same thing. “Alright, back on the bikes.”
To me this trail feels like home, it’s just about the only “hike” I’ve been on, it’s comforting to be here when the man made world is heavily shattered. I don’t think we should ditch the bikes because I imagine this will be a lifesaver later on but on a dried up dirt path going uphill… Well the same recurring thought keeps hitting me as my lungs start to burn from dry panting for the past 20 or so minutes. I can see the top and now I’m processing how there’s only this zig zag ramp or a staircase to get to the very very top. So we either have to carry the bike… You know what, I’ll just do whatever Daniel does, I’m wasting too much of my energy complaining about a bike.
I see, he went up the staircase and dragged the bike on the step grass next to it. You know I never thought I’d be excited to see one of those but that water fountain that looks like it hasn’t been touched in about 20 years is looking mighty fine. I think it’s just about the closest thing we have that physically tastes like the Earth. It tastes like all the minerals combined with an influence from human’s lead and asbestos days alongside a concern for safety. I’m kinda wondering if Daniel is going to stop me drinking it, I’m heading to it. Ah yes yummy.
“Yo what the hell, they closed off the slide.”
“Are you okay?” Daniel asked with aggressive concern.
“Any effects of the water probably won’t start showing this soon.” I think coming to this place really calmed me down. The bike ride was hell, but this feels so much like home to me that all my worries just go away. After doing a quick pan around our eyes meet with… “Yeah, what is that?” There’s only so many times in life where references can truly fit and snap together like a 3 dimensional level hard puzzle.
“Eric, what the fuck. How are you smiling again? For the past hour or so, all I’ve seen in your face is confusion and pain and now you’re smiling.”
“Well I mean there’s this giant flesh colored cylindrical thing spanning into the sky…” There’s no way I’m allowed to say it out loud. I think Daniel might just take the bike he gave me and leave. I feel my mouth smiling past my cheeks, I feel this crack forming in the middle of my bottom lip over this.
“Eric, please, whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t say it. You’re already giving me a strange feeling over this complete switch up you’ve had in the past 5 minutes.”
Chapter 8
I get it, at least I think I get it. Every now and then in my brain what’s going on and what might happen is running through my brain. Every single time I tell myself just not to think about it, in other situations I might be able to fly with just that but with this, it just consumes my brain. I think it’s still important to have human emotions, even if the world is ending, there should be some laughter. Actually, that’s pretty awful to think. Those two thoughts combined definitely don’t work together.
I can tell time is still passing because the shadow is moving I think. The flesh colored object seems to be in the same place still. It’s only been maybe 20 minutes since we reached the peak of this mountain but I think the shadow has moved about 20 minutes west, or east. I guess if the sun sets on the west then the shadow will move east, but also I don’t know which direction is which. I don’t think I’m going to know what’s safe to snack on up here.
“Are you okay?” I guess the only time I know now is the intervals between when Daniel asks that question. I could sense nothing but concern still but this time when he asked it felt like after a huge relationship argument and this was the point where the responder would have to decide if more chaos will ensue or if it’s time to move on.
“I said ‘thank you’ right?”
“I mean… Don’t worry.” I got this feeling of a humble way to say you’re welcome through that hesitant response. Even if I didn’t say that I’m sure he knows it.
As the sky turned this hazy red with pink undertones and the clouds began changing from pasty white to shades of grey, it felt that although we knew the darkness would come, there was still time to enjoy golden hour and the twilight. In my head, I really think I have some good sayings, but already at this age I know that they don’t sound right out loud. There still seems to be this perpetual look of concern in Daniel’s face, that should be present with myself as well probably. I think he doesn’t like the things I’ve been saying or maybe he’s just worried because we didn’t bring any sleeping bags and night is about to strike.
“Sorry. I hate to be like this but one time I really enjoyed stargazing the few times I’ve been this high up at night. I know the stars, or just the view we have of the stars are gone but at least the sunset is nice.”
“Eric, if you lost track of time, it’s about 4P.M.”
“Oh.” Honestly at this point the total control of my responses have already been consumed by terrestrial anomalies. I definitely can’t predict what's going to happen and I can't even explain what has happened, even right now I don't have a single clue. Not knowing is bone chilling shocking but at this point, I’ve been shaking to the point where everything feels like this fever dream. “Do you think everyone is okay?”
“Well whatever hit us, wherever they hit, they must have had some huge damage. Please probably have glass shards they’re taking out of their body. Everyone else is probably living in pure panic.”
It’s right here. It's happening, I just don't want to think about anything that's going on. Whatever is going on seems careful enough. If something had control of whatever flew through the sky, they could've wiped out way more than the tip of their ship’s worth. Could it be a ship? Still running away still seems like the best option.
I don't understand why it would be so delicate. The sunset or whatever haze is covering the sky seems like it was gently laid across where it couldn’t even disrupt the clouds.
Daniel looked over to me and tried to summarize our next plans. “We’ll stay here for the night, I don't know how clean that water was but at least we have something.”
“I think I’ve started to internalize this lie that we’re all just panicking for nothing. Y2k all over again. I was talking with Lorenze abou…” Daniel cut me off hastily.
“That was fearing the future, you really don’t think we should be scared of what just happened and what we are currently seeing?”
I feel this overarching need to tell him about how I never had a camping trip, about how I wanted to see colors of the galaxy. That’s not even remotely on anyone’s mind. Daniel still has his senses and maybe he’s right and I’m living in the land of delusion.
I never told Lorenze, or anyone, if the seas were to rise where we should meet. At the end of the day, is there really a point? I don’t know who I’m going to see again, I don’t want to think about that though. I feel better just telling myself other things. This pink haze is starting to mess my vision up, when I look at Daniel he’s almost just this gray silhouette.
“Hey Daniel, when do you think it’s going to get colder?”
“It’s weird it hasn’t yet, right? No use saying it’s a coincidence though because then it would just be a coincidence the sun is in the right location for Earth.”
“So we’re the center of the universe.” I still feel something weird in my mouth, even letting out a chuckle would make something feel weird. I hope Daniel knew that was a joke, but then again, he’s tired of my jokes isn’t he.
“I guess right now we are.”
In the distance I started to hear screeches approaching. I can’t even count the amount of times a bone chilling experience has happened to me lately but still this knee jerk reaction will never go away. “aaaAAGGGGHHHHHHHH.”
“That’s another person, I think they’re coming. Eric, stay away from them, we don’t have anything to share, but we can lead them to water. Okay? Got it? They might have a weapon.”
“No.” I genuinely wouldn’t believe this even if this was the most well written dream my head put out for me.
“What? Remember what I said, come on.”
“It’s David.” He looked around, then somehow his eyes locked on mine and he sprinted right towards me. Daniel seemed to take some sort of defensive position, mostly just backing away. I should brace myself, but there it is, he knocked me down.
“You won't believe how relieved I am to see you.”
“Lorenze is coming soon, he said he ran into you. He came to my house and I didn’t want to let him in so we started walking to get a slushie. Lorenze had finished his and I was about halfway done with mine and then we noticed this giant hand flying through the sky and it landed directly on my house. Lorenze is messed up, but he got a beer also so I guess he’s fine.” David spoke as if he knew he would find me up here. His whole speech sounded prepared but David could be a nearly perfect improv actor so I’m not going to question it.
There’s Lorenze coming up now, he does seem to be fine, he’s doing his unfazed by anything walk as he’s approaching us. Neither of them acknowledged Daniel yet but I guess we’re getting there.
“Lorenze where did you get hurt?”
“I’m fine.” He seemed more like Lorenze than ever.
“The car window broke and then he fell inside the car. Or maybe he got blown into the window and broke it.” David responded for Lorenze. “I was on the grass under a tree, some leaves fell on me but that’s about it.”
“I guess we were luckily in the middle of the street.” I said, after Daniel decided to add, “The gust knocked Eric over, if it’s silent my ears start ringing.”
No matter what, this really does feel good, catching up with everyone, we don’t really do this often. “Sal… Salvador.” The thought of him just popped into my head. Everyone just looked at eachother then simultaneously looked off to the side.
“I don’t think he would know to come here.” When David said that it felt the way it should’ve. I don’t know if it’s my fault for thinking about others but I think we should be just worrying about ourselves.
“We should have hidden in the caves until the new world emerges.” For some reason it doesn’t feel like there’s any change amongst any of us really. While it’s still a weird sentence, it doesn’t feel weird coming out of Lorenze’s mouth.
“High ground was the right choice, Daniel and Eric chose it.”
“But who else do you see here?” Lorenze responded.
“Well who did you see running to the caves?”
“We didn’t pass any caves.”
As the two banter, it seems something went off in Daniel’s head. “Hand?”
All three of us cocked our heads and turned to Daniel. “Hand? You said part of a hand flew through the sky. It was a meteor or spacecraft, why would it be a hand?”
David responded by saying, “it was just part of a hand?”
“So like a finger?” Daniel responded and Lorenze started to feel the tension so he waltzed and scooted over my way like he was going to whisper something but instead he just stood there.
“I mean I guess. Why would you think it’s something else? We can see it right now, It’s flesh colored and human shaped.” As David and Daniel continued I still expected Lorenze to say something. Maybe a comment that would brighten the mood. I’m getting tired of breaking the seriousness while entertaining myself to no avail for others. Finally Lorenze opened his mouth and spoke to the group.
“It was a hand. It was gentle.” David took over after and continued the argument of the two. “The size of that thing would’ve done much more damage if it had no control.”
After that, I think everyone just decided there was no point in arguing over the unknown. I feel like it’s quite the miracle, whatever landed could’ve done so much more damage for sure. I think Lorenze would appreciate it if I said something like “the real miracle is that we’re here all together.” I still have to tell myself just to keep on going. It felt like hours passed, I don’t feel the need to ask what time it is because why would it matter? No one even attempted to suggest making a tent but there’s some soft padding because of the playground up here. I already knew that’s where I would be resting since Daniel said we’re staying up here for the night. This place really isn’t anything special, it’s not really a true hike because there’s a play park for kids and a parking lot. I’ve been so detached from nature it never even dawned on me if there’s a cave within 50 miles of where we are right now. Maybe it’s fitting I don’t get to see the stars tonight.
Next chapter 4/20/2025 (9P.M. PST)