Avoid This:
"Have you tried making a schedule?"
Why It's Harmful:
Assumes the problem is organization rather than capacity. Reinforces shame.
Avoid This:
"Everyone is tired---you just have to push through."
Why It's Harmful:
Dismisses the biological reality of energy impairment and risks encouraging relapse.
Avoid This:
"Let's work on your time management skills."
Why It's Harmful:
Frames the issue as a personal deficit rather than a systemic barrier.
Avoid This:
"You seem to be managing so well."
Why It's Harmful:
The "high-functioning" compliment can make clients feel pressure to hide their struggles.
Avoid This:
Focusing only on productivity goals.
Why It's Harmful:
Ignores that rest and recovery are legitimate and necessary parts of the client's life.
Ask better questions.
Instead of asking "How can you manage your time better?" try:
What happens when you exceed your energy limits? How long does recovery take?
What are you sacrificing to meet others' expectations?
If you didn't have to worry about appearing 'fine,' what would you need right now?
What activities drain your energy most quickly? What restores you?
Where in your life do you feel pressure to keep up, and where do you feel allowed to rest?
If your body had its own clock, what would it tell you?
Validate the hidden labor.
Acknowledge that your client is doing work that others don't see:
"It sounds like you're spending a lot of time and energy just managing your health---appointments, paperwork, resting, recovering. That's real work, and it's work that takes time away from other things. No wonder you're exhausted."
Externalize the problem.
Help clients see that the issue is not them---it's the world they're navigating:
"There's a concept called 'temporal accessibility.' We're used to thinking about ramps and elevators, but time can be inaccessible too. When the world expects everyone to work at the same pace, on the same schedule, people whose bodies work differently get left behind. That's not your fault."
Introduce Crip Time as a framework.
For clients who might find it helpful:
"In disability communities, there's a concept called crip time. It's the idea that disabled people live on a different clock---not because anything is wrong, but because the world wasn't built for them. Your need for more rest, more time, a different pace---that's valid. That's not failure. That's crip time."
Explore the energy budget together.
Work with clients to identify:
What fills their energy?
What drains it?
What does "pacing" look like for them?
How do they know when they're approaching their limit?
What happens when they exceed it?
Support accommodation requests.
Help clients identify what would make their life more sustainable:
Flexible deadlines
Part-time or reduced hours
Remote options
Permission to rest during the day
Extended deadlines for projects or education
Help communicating needs to family, employers, or teachers
Encourage community connection.
Isolation worsens shame. Connecting with other disabled people can provide:
Validation that their experience is real
Practical tips for managing energy
Access intimacy---the relief of being with people who "get it" without explanation
Consider referring clients to:
Online support groups for their specific condition
Disability community organizations
Social media communities
Reflect on your own assumptions.
Ask yourself:
What messages did I absorb about productivity and worth?
Do I believe rest must be "earned"?
How do I react when a client seems "stuck" or "slow"?
Am I accidentally reinforcing the pressure to keep up?