I feel very fortunate to be able to shelter in a place in my childhood home where I am surrounded by nature and can take my dogs for walks in the park or sit next to my sisters in the sun and read a book. Before COVID-19, I was the person who was always trying to plan my next trip or adventure, I was continually looking for reasons to be on the go. The time that I have had to be home and reflect on everything that these past few years have given me has been invaluable. I am so grateful for every experience that I have ever had abroad and locally because the traveling might never be so easy again.

COVID-19 has taught me how fragile our world really is. I never saw COVID-19 as a threat because, naively, I assumed that in 2020 we had the advanced science and modern medicine to deal with diseases such as COVID-19. I obviously was utterly wrong. The socioeconomic inequalities in the United States have only been highlighted by COVID-19. I know how deeply so many people across the United States and the world are suffering, so canceling trips, staying at home, and wearing a mask to the store seems like the least I can do. I miss having a lock on my door, my Grandpa and Grandma, and I wish that I could go and see my cousin's newborn baby, but I feel incredibly lucky to be able to continue my education online and to have this time to reflect on all of the good.

The events of the COVID-19 pandemic have changed all of our lives, impacting daily activities we took for granted. With everything changed, my priorities have shifted. I now prioritize my mental health as well as my physical health. It has become more important than ever to maintain my personal relationships with friends and family as we practice social distancing.

I have experienced the anxiety of the unknown along with everyone but there have been moments of joy and relief that would never have happened if we were not in quarantine. Life continues even in bad times. I tend to look at situations in a historical context and I think the most important part of this pandemic is what actions we take after it. Even though we want to go back to “normal” so badly, the pandemic revealed major systemic flaws in our society. It has given us an opportunity to change the things that need to change and appreciate the little things we’re missing right now.

This pandemic has caused a lot of anxiety and uncertainty, especially being a student and thinking about how the structure and function of society will change throughout this time. The changes in education have affected me the most, with all of my classes transitioning to an online format. Many students have had to adapt to online instruction without reliable access to WiFi, lacking necessary technology, different time zones, and adjusting to a method of instruction that is not compatible with many learning styles. It is stressful to consider that instruction may have to continue this way for longer than this semester, but many institutions are recognizing the stress and difficulty of this time, and helping students to find community and support in adapting to this new method of learning.

Education is only one institution that has been challenged during this time, especially in the United States. This pandemic has exposed the systemic issues in many institutions throughout the United States, with mass unemployment, a lack of testing, and a lack of unified action among local, state, and federal governments. It has been frustrating to see the divisions that already existed within this country widen, and to see others valuing their own personal freedoms over the wellbeing of others by ignoring social distancing guidelines and protesting measures that will prevent the spread of the virus and protect those who are most vulnerable. I think that this pandemic has exposed the need for institutional change within the United States, and I hope that it leads people, especially from my generation, to recognize the need for advocacy for change.

2020 has been the hardest year of my life, and I felt like this in February before the gravity of this pandemic was revealed and the city of San Francisco started to shelter in place. As shelter in place has continued, I have never felt so emotionally or physically drained. At the same time, I’m trying to reconcile being in a fortunate position because neither I nor my parents have lost our jobs, and I feel awful constantly. I have no motivation to do anything, I feel so hopeless, and I just want a hug from my mom. I can’t even do that without worrying about being an asymptomatic carrier. I’m staying away from my mom as long as possible because she’s in a sensitive group. I miss my mom, and I wish I could see her.

In theory, this is the most productive I should be because of the time I have gained. But, I have so much anxiety about everything, and then I just shut down. I also missed two weeks of school from being sick for a completely different reason, which doesn’t help. I feel like my stress is justified, and there is no possible way for me to get everything done on time while simultaneously keeping up with the increased workload I have in my classes. I have been so angry at myself about not being able to be as productive as I was when I was in school. It is hard to come to terms with the fact my productivity has suffered because I cannot establish a routine, like the one I had in real life school. I am just trying to get through every day with my sanity intact, so I have no time to establish anything.

Nothing feels real, and time doesn’t exist for me right now. The future seems very hopeless because of protests and people not taking COVID-19 seriously. I know this summer cases are going to rise because no one cares, and there’s a bunch of protests against sheltering in place. Summer break is going to feel just as hopeless as this semester, but at least I’ll be with some of my family (still miserable, but it’s with family so that makes it okay). As long as the virus does not mutate and get even worse, life should return to some form of normalcy in 2021. So that’s something to hope for.

Like most of my students and colleagues at USF and elsewhere, I have found the last several months to be very difficult. The 2019-20 academic year was already unusually stressful, due to a number of challenging work and personal issues. Once we were forced to shelter-in-place, discussions with colleagues revealed that many of us were having trouble focusing; we all instantly understood the strange phenomenon of "COVID time." For me, this often manifested in small tasks that should have taken an hour or two to complete routinely taking 10-12 hours. Entire days seemed to evaporate; where on earth did the time go? Having to figure out how to teach online effectively and trying to encourage and support students experiencing distress while simultaneously struggling with acute anxiety of my own has often felt overwhelming.

Despite the surreal and stressful circumstances, one of the absolute highlights was "seeing" my students every week. For small classes such as this one, the Zoom experience yielded some surprising moments of intimacy. I hope the care and compassion of our close-knit Art History & Museum Studies program, the larger USF community, and each of us as individuals will be a lingering positive memory of this strange period. As a professional in the field of higher education, I am also heartened by the degree to which our nationwide forced online teaching experiment seems to have reinforced the irreplaceable value of in-person educational experiences. Though the nature of campus life in the near future remains uncertain, I very much look forward to coming together again as soon as we can.