THEME OF THE WEEK: RESILIENCE: REFRAMING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS & EVENTS

NOTE FOR FAMILIES

Did you know, the average human has 60,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them – almost 50,000 of those thoughts – are negative? In times of stress that percentage may even be higher. Research from Dr. Susan Nolem-Hoeksema, a former Psychology Professor at Yale, suggests that rumination—being stuck in a negative thought for an extended period of time—is a leading cause of depression and anxiety. So how do we get unstuck from the muck of thoughts in our heads? Below are some suggestions for reframing negative thoughts and finding the positives even in disappointing times such as these.

INTEGRATING THE THEME INTO THE HOME:

Distraction

One of the simplest strategies, but can also be the most powerful. Dr. Nolem-Hoeksema’s research shows that those who use the distraction method are less likely to experience depressive and anxious symptoms. Distraction should be with an activity that leaves you feeling good afterwards.

• Basic Distraction -

  • Laugh

    • Telling jokes with friends

    • Chatting with a friend or family member who makes you laugh

  • Find a positive emotion - Humor, joy, and gratitude immediately help us feel better, and when we feel good, our bodies have a chance to undo the effects of stress.

    • Make a list of a few positive-emotion-inducing activities that you can use quickly and easily when you find yourself stuck in your thoughts.

    • Listening to a song that boosts your mood – YouTube Playlists

    • Gratitude on cue

      • Pick something in your day to be your alarm (cue) to think of what you are grateful for.

        • Ex: washing your hands or turning off a light

        • Each time you do this activity think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

    • Gratitude ramble

      • When anger, disappointment or sadness begin to surface, acknowledge the feelings and begin to think of all the things you have to be grateful for in the moment.

      • Say something like “this situation stinks, but I am grateful for _________________.

    • Nature Scavenger Hunt

    • Scavenger Hunt Bingo

• When Basic Distraction doesn’t do the trick –

  • When basic distraction doesn’t seem to work you may need to find a more consuming activity. One that you can be fully immersed in.

    • Challenge yourself with a task that meets your current level of skill or pushes you but not to the level of frustration.

  • Examples –

    • Cooking

    • Writing

    • Exercising

    • Playing a competitive board game

    • Learning a new skill

    • Playing a musical instrument

    • Lego Masters – Create a LEGO challenge amongst a group of friends.

      • Give the kids a timeframe to create. Send pictures of final creation on a video platform.

    • Building a scrapbook

    • Learning a new language

    • For some people organizing things works as well

  • Psychologists call this type of engagement “flow” while athletes and artists call it “in the zone”. This works best as a method of distraction when we engage in the activities routinely.

• Spread a little love –

  • Showing a little love or kindness for someone else often works like a magic antidote to negative thoughts.

    • Write letters/make cards for a local retirement community

    • Smile and say hi to neighbors on a walk

    • Call and check in on a friend

    • Plan a special evening for your family

    • Foster a dog

    • Call or FaceTime Grandparents, or Grandfriends just to say hello

    • Make up a poem with a positive message.

    • Write positive messages on Post-It Notes and place them on mirrors in your house.

    • Make Peace Rocks - paint rocks with kind words and place them around town to delight your neighbors.

    • Do household chores without being asked - make your bed, pick up your toys, clean your room/bathroom.

Finding Joy

• Ask your child to tell you about their day

  • Even if you were home with them all day have them describe it – everyone has a different perspective.

• Without them seeing what you are doing, write down the good things they say.

• Once they are finished because describing their day in “Even though – I can find joy statements”

  • Even though I can’t see my friends right now I can find joy in having extra time with my family.

  • Even though we are stuck at home I can find joy in learning to ride my bike.

  • Even though I’m not able to ____________ I can find joy in _____________.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

(PK-12th) Kids for Peace Uplifting Our World Through Love and Action

(PK-12th) How to Stop Negative Thoughts from Getting You Down

(6^th-12^th) Here are 37 positive affirmations for students to help them combat negative thinking

(6^th-12^th) 50 Self-Esteem Boosting Affirmations For Teens

(7^th-12^th) Affirmations for Our Teenage Sons

Articles for Parents –

(PK-12^th) How to Fight (and Win) a Battle Against Your Negative Thoughts

(PK-12^th) Say Goodbye to the Self-Doubt that Limits Your Potential

(PK-12^th) The 7 Most Powerful Ways to Boost Your Happiness Right Now

(PK-12^th) Digital Binging — Is It A Problem?