MMS 172 Assignment 4: Closing Blog

“Hey, how’s MMS 172 going?” Three months ago, I would’ve casually said it’s kind of interesting but now that I’m at the end of the term, I wish I could say the same. Yeah….that would obviously be a lie. The truth is MMS 172 challenged me more than I anticipated. My lack of critical listening skills significantly contributed to the difficulty I encountered in understanding the course concepts and lessons. Just like the line from Anti-Hero: “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Honestly, that could be my theme song for the entire class.

As I have mentioned in my self-introduction, I admitted that I didn’t have any experience with audio production. At that point, I didn’t realize how bad that would play out for me. The first time I saw my classmates posting their critiques and technical comments on the forums, my brain just went, “How do you even hear that?” Meanwhile, I was sitting there trying to catch what they were hearing and failing miserably. I couldn’t even bother faking it, so I resorted to reading their observations and hoped some of it would rub off on me. I guess that became my “strategy”: silent reader mode. (I don’t recommend it!)

At the start, my only expectation was to understand audio concepts in an approachable way. I guess I achieved that on paper. I can explain some stuff now that I couldn’t months ago. However, the conversation becomes different if asked in practice. As I experienced it through my final project, applying those concepts is definitely a whole other story. For instance, my final project is something I’m not super proud of, but I’m also not ashamed of what it came to. It’s not the best, but it was the best I could manage given my limitations. I guess capacity really sets the ceiling for what you can produce.

Additionally, the struggles I mentioned in my midpoint blog followed me all the way to the end. Concepts just didn’t come naturally. Every new thing felt like a puzzle I couldn’t solve without googling ten times. I also had so many “what if” moments like what if I just had the ear for this? What if I understood it faster? Nonetheless, I had to accept that forcing it won’t solve anything.  If I’m being real, audio isn’t my forte, and it’s not something I naturally enjoy. After the midpoint blog, I wanted to give audio the benefit of the doubt, hoping I would grow to like it. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. Even so, I did get something valuable, which I mentioned in my walkthrough, and it’s my appreciation for the craft. Going through all the process of producing even a 4-minute audio project requires skill, patience, and in some cases, an innate ear for sound. I can’t imagine being a professional in this field, but my respect goes to them. I realized this a lot when I tried critiquing songs as practice. There’s a gap between listening to music casually and dissecting it technically. That gap was something I never noticed until MMS 172. I found myself paying attention to details I ignored before, like how background sounds need to be managed or how vocal should be balanced. Do I know how to fix them? Nope. Do I dream of doing them? Probably not, but who knows, maybe I’ll develop an interest in the future. The important thing is I notice them now!

Throughout the course, I feel that Unit 3 and the final project challenged me the most. Recording? Okay, I survived that. However, the editing and mixing process was grueling that even adjusting volumes stressed me out. Whenever I’d change something, listen back, hate it, undo it, and then redo it. This went on for hours, even days. I was basically fighting with effect sliders (the presets somehow saved me (ó﹏ò｡)). I kept reviewing Unit 3 for some reassurance, but instead it made me overthink. In the end, I gave up on trying to be fancy and kept it simple as minimal edits meant minimal chance of messing up.

I was only able to jot down a few notes but here are the top three which I feel are the most important:

1. Critical listening is essential at every stage - whether it be during the recording, mixing, and mastering. Honestly, the only thing you can trust in the process is basically your ear.

2. Minimal technical adjustments do matter - for example, in my project, the consistent adjustments I made were the EQ, volume balancing, reverb, and even panning, which made it better. So, these things could either make or break the overall audio during the mixing process.

3. Process > Vibes!! - being creative is good and highly recommended, but if the workflow is a mess, then trust that the whole project will be too. As much as possible, it’s best to stick to the plan and re-adjust from there.

Another thing I can’t deny is how much I compared myself to others. Every time I saw someone else’s work, I would go “Yeah…I’m doomed (ᵕ•_•)”. Some classmates were so confident in experimenting with effects and ideas, and it made me question if I’m playing safe with my idea or is my idea too plain. Even with the comparing, I believe my efforts still count because I worked with what I had: no fancy gear, enough knowledge, and a lot of second-guessing. (This is me gaslighting myself that my project was okay).

Moving on, I understand now why MMS 172 is an essential course for BAMS, especially for production because audio exists in every aspect of multimedia. I recently enrolled in MMS 175 and saw that MMS 172 is a pre-requisite which makes sense because video without audio is just…. bland? Awkward? Knowing this, I can see how it ties into the bigger picture. Whether it’s film, content creation, or even random school projects, audio is always present in these modalities. Now, the question is do I see myself becoming a professional in audio production? Definitely not. However, I do see the value of at least knowing the basics because despite not mastering this, I know I’ll need it someday. To retain the knowledge I acquired this term, I plan to keep practicing with digital workstations like Adobe Audition or maybe find a better DAW with a learning curve. That way, I can see my progress and know where I can improve more.

The fact that surprised me the most about myself was realizing how bad my critical listening is. I thought listening to a lot of music (as an enjoyer of different genres) would train my ears automatically. Well, I guess not? Another surprise is how much doubt gets in my way. I knew beforehand that I’m a pessimist but not to this level. I spent way too much time asking myself if I was doing it right instead of just doing it. If I could give some advice to myself from 3 months ago, I’d encourage myself to stop rushing, stop doubting (emphasis on this), experiment more, and to trust the process (& my ear...). Also, I should’ve asked questions in the forums instead of staying in silent reader mode. Even if my questions were basic, at least I would’ve learned more directly.

Overall, the entirety of the course was not a walk in the park for me. It was difficult, frustrating, and a lot of times where I just wanted to procrastinate (not give up, I value my grades ˙◠˙). Nevertheless, I managed to finish all the requirements. I’m sure that I’m walking away with more than what I had known at the start. I may not be good at audio production, but I have mad respect for it now.  At the end of the day, MMS 172 became a good reminder that learning isn’t always comfortable.

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