Reflection

As I have mentioned in the Perspectives section of this ePortfolio, specifically through the lens of a BES student, my previous philosophy of education is grounded in constructivism. This is because I believe that learning is not just acquired passively, it is more on the active construction of meaning through experience, reflection, and interaction. This project showed how I was able to embody this philosophy because I was constantly building knowledge about my research like using my acquired knowledge from BES to organize my data, interpret unique perspectives while connecting them to theory, or defend my decisions, highlighting the challenges and discoveries I faced. Moreover, constructivism was emphasized as I gave value to how the teachers are recommended to deliver education and to how the kindergarten students are recommended to learn. This experience has proven to me that constructivism will still be my philosophy of education until the end of my BES journey.

As a BES student, this experience gave me more than just academic learning. I was able to use what I learned about research, thinking critically, and reflecting when I faced situations in my research that did not have simple answers or solutions. I have realized that being a learner means always adjusting, questioning, and connecting what I study to real-life situations. I have also discovered that my own growth is connected to the values of responsibility, discipline, and independence that the BES program emphasizes.

The BES program objectives gave me an assurance that I was walking on the right path. Having a critical view of education meant I had to see the teachers' challenges and coping strategies as part of the bigger problems in the Philippine education system, not just as individual experiences. The fact that there are existing formal institutions that do not have formal curricula provides a concerning point of view wherein institutions and educational government agencies might not give enough attention about our country's educational situation. 

Does ABC not care to evaluate the effectiveness of their program? Is ABC the only formal institution that does not have a formal curriculum? Does the DepEd care to check whether these institutions are properly implementing quality education? 

Research has deepened my curiosity, allowing me to view unique lived experiences in relation to bigger societal problems. What I have learned from the foundations of educational studies, philosophy, and psychology helped me understand that the voices of the teachers in a private institution connect to broader ideas about teaching, learning, and adaptation. As a BES student, this project experience strengthened my commitment to being not just a consumer of knowledge, but an active participant in building it for myself and for others.

Looking back at my journey, this project has given me a roller coaster of emotions. I got worried, nervous, happy, confused, satisfied, and unsatisfied, all in a cycle. This is because I am aware that I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to developing a research paper, but I tried. My motivation to finish this project was slowly dropping due to the lack of confidence in myself. I kept telling myself that I need to improve my work. I kept squeezing my brain to display what knowledge and skills I can offer as someone finishing a final special project. Multiple moments occurred when I felt stuck and unsure if my ideas were enough, but pushing through those struggles taught me how important consistency and goals are.

This project tested my research skills as well as my patience, focus, and trust in myself. I have realized that it was not just about producing an academic requirement; it was also about dealing with doubts, questions, and even the pressure of proving that I could actually finish something this big. Moreover, as I self-evaluate, I see the gaps in how I worked. I could have managed my schedule better, asked for help sooner, or conducted better research into how I should deal with this special project. My social anxiety overpowered at first, losing the opportunity to obtain more significant data. As someone who stayed in the same environment for years, I have not developed my skill in socialization. Especially since I studied in an open university, there were limited chances of practicing communication. I always stutter and do not have the courage to ask for a favor or for help. Being an introvert has caused me to lose several opportunities to succeed in academics and at work.  

However, I have realized that these gaps are part of my journey because they shaped me as a learner, as a professional, and as an individual. Despite being an introvert, I was still able to approach some people that became relevant to my project journey. My friends' and families' words of encouragement and my motivation to accomplish a degree has helped me overcome my fear in socialization. I believe I will bring these significant experiences and acquired knowledge and skills into where I will be in the future, whether it is for work or continuing academics. Beyond just completing a requirement, this research project became a mirror of how I think, handle challenges, and how I continue to grow into the kind of professional I aspire to be. It might not be perfect now, but I know that this will serve as a stepping stone into how I will improve my attitude, social skills, and mindset as I further live in this world. All I can say is that despite the difficulties, I still enjoyed my journey in learning, discovering something new, being exposed to a new environment, and interacting with the children. I now understand the reason why I was brought by destiny to conduct this project. I am thankful to have these meaningful experiences in this project and in my BES journey.