Part XII: Slow (And Painful) Growth

I have been going to therapy on-and-off since I was four years old—and have been seeing the same therapist for the past six years. I have tried 30 different medications: antidepressants, anticonvulsants, antipsychotics, stimulants, etc., and eight this past year.  

My medication list is typed out in the “notes” section of my phone. With every intake, I pull out and begin to read…

prozac x2

lithium

strattera

olanzapine

remeron

latuda

lexapro

wellbutrin x2

cymbalta

zoloft

abilify

pristiq

lamictal

trileptal

viibryd **

rexulti **

gabapentin **

ativan

klonopin

xanax

hydroxyzine

valium (as needed)

fetzima

valium **

nuvigil

provigil **

Luvox

Methylphenidate 

Adderall **

Trazodone 

I am cut off, usually somewhere between the latuda and zoloft, and am told something along the lines of, “Oh, thank you! That’s actually more than enough to qualify for insurance coverage!”