Signs and indicators

Children often communicate distress through their behaviour rather than their words. Changes in behaviour might be a child’s way of showing us they need help.

If a child is being or has been sexually abused online, they might:

• spend a lot more or a lot less time than usual online, texting, gaming or using social media

• seem distant, upset or angry after using the internet or texting

• be secretive about who they're talking to and what they're doing online or on their mobile phone

• behaving as though they have to be online at a certain time, or rushing to get on their phone

• have lots of new phone numbers, texts or email addresses on their mobile phone, laptop or tablet

• express the need for money, this may be used if they are being blackmailed.

Abusers may threaten to send images, video, or copies of conversations to the young person's friends and family unless they take part in other sexual activity. Images or videos may continue to be shared long after the sexual abuse has stopped.

There may be a concern about the behaviour of an adult, if they:

• insist on physical affection or physical play with a child –kissing, hugging, wrestling

• give excessive gifts to the child

• take photographs or keep mementos of other children

• talk about sex frequently, tell sexual jokes and has inappropriate conversations in the presence of children

• single out and give special attention to one child

• seek to be, or is often, alone with a child in a house, car or room

• display child-orientated behaviours or engages in childlike behaviour

• are overly interested in a child’s personal development

• refuses to allow a child privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters

None of these signs are proof that an adult is committing sexual abuse so it is important to use them with care. Some of the grooming behaviours can look like kind and genuine behaviours from an adult towards a child, such as gift giving or praise and rewards, which makes them difficult to distinguish.