Prevention

Parents may have little or no knowledge of child sexual abuse and may well be reluctant to engage. It will be a challenge to get parents comfortable enough just to talk about it, but it’s important that you do. In turn they can talk to their children.

The best way to protect children from sexual abuse is to talk about it. Make parents and carers aware that sexual abuse thrives on secrecy. The more it’s spoken about the better protected children will be.

Leaving their child alone with others

It’s really important to communicate to parents that they should be cautious about who they leave their children with. Talking to parents about their own wider family as part of their safety networks along with trusted organisations can be helpful. This will be different for foster carers as they will be limited to nominated carers or other people and organisations approved by Children’s Services, supervising social workers and the child’s social worker. 

Talk to parents about how to research appropriate childcare facilities and the importance of full DBS checks. In family or social situations parents should be aware that because sexual abuse often isn’t reported, a DBS check will offer very limited information. Encourage parents to ask to see safeguarding policies for groups or organisations they use for childcare.

Encourage those parents who use informal childcare within their family or friend network, to set appropriate boundaries and expectations with those who are looking after their children. If parents are leaving their child with another family member or friend, then it is important to remind them to ensure that their children know how to say ‘no’ to any activities they don’t like or that make them feel uncomfortable, and that they can speak out if they have any worries.

Hopes and fears

Talk to parents about their hopes for their children and what their fears are. 

Discussing a parent’s fears will naturally lead into other conversations. Tread lightly with this technique and perhaps revisiting it over more than one occasion if necessary.

Conversation starters for parents to use with children

Teaching children and young people about healthy relationships and how to stay safe online can help prevent sexual abuse and exploitation. These foundations can be laid from a young age. 

The NSPCC PANTS rules are a simple way to teach younger children how to stay safe from abuse. A child may have already had the talks in school, but it’s important that their parent talks to them at home too. Tips and advice on how to have difficult conversations can be found here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/talking-about-difficult-topics/ 

It's also important to make sure children and young people know there are trusted adults, including outside home that they can speak to about their worries, such as school or Childline.

School can book a free Speak out Stay safe assembly for primary school children. The NSPCC's specially trained staff and volunteers hold assemblies and workshops, covering topics like bullying and abuse, but without using any scary words or adult language.