Embedded Files
Doing
This semester, I read a lot about other cultures and peoples. My eyes and mind were transformed and challenged to see the world in a new light. A light that casts many different colors of a spectrum, all whole, unique, and worthy. I work and will continue to work hard to retrain my innate biases and remain present and receptive.
I've started having some tough conversations about politics when it comes to people's rights (or lack there of) with close family and friends. I find that when participating in a shared enjoyable occupation, it can spark deep and vulnerable conversation without feeling attacked or cornered.
Being
I'm learning how to be a better listener. To listen without the intent of response. To allow someone the space to be vulnerable, raw, and honest, without taking things personally or making it about me. I'm learning how to humble myself and to realize that every persons' experience is unique to them. As a people pleaser, I'm also learning that I don't need to try and fix a problem someone may have, nor will I have the "answer" or "right" things to say. It's all a learning process that is ever evolving.
I'm constantly questioning my biases, my beliefs, and my thoughts. I come from a very conservative Christian household and questioning does not come naturally to me, nor has it ever really been encouraged while growing up. I'm being more intentional with the thoughts that I have and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, for that is truly where growth happens.
I'm challenging myself, my beliefs, and sometimes the beliefs of others. I've always liked routine and comfort, change is terrifying. But I've learned over the last 5 years that if you don't challenge yourself, you don't grow. So I'm constantly trying to seek out listening and learning how to advocate for people that don't look like me, or come from the same background. I love the saying courage over comfort.
I've never been one to put the spotlight on me, to make a big deal out of anything, so challenging others has been quite the steep learning curve. I don't want to ruffle feathers, but when it comes to freedom of thought, peace, and justice, it's worth having the hard conversations in a respectful, humble manner.
Becoming
A patient
humbling myself when others want to offer help
realizing I can't do things the way I used to
speaking out when people are doing things for me when I'm perfectly capable
My own OT
forcing myself to get up out of bed or bouts of depression when all I want to do is sleep
actively participating in things that bring me joy
grading occupations so that I can continue to do them safely and efficiently
Intentional with my thoughts and actions
what I have the energy for and when
do these thoughts serve me and my goals?
Managing and Maintaining my health
mind- positivity. hope, therapy, meditation
body - movement, yoga, exercise, walking
soul- nature, gardening, quality time, reflection
An advocate
for my own healthcare
persistent
determined
for policy change and future patients
Belonging
In such a short period of time, this cohort and the professors have quickly become such a huge part of my life; a family of sorts. However, to be honest, I have struggled with belonging over the last 6 months. My health has changed and therefore, I have had to learn how to do things differently than everyone else, which has resulted in some feelings of isolation and self doubt. With my recent diagnosis, and having to put grad school on hold, I have felt devestated, left behind, uncertain I can become an OT, and overall not myself.
I'm learning though, that though my feelings are valid, it doesn't necessarily mean they hold truth. Everyone from Dominican has shown such an outpouring of love and support and kindness that makes me feel like I belong. The reality of that belonging just looks a little different these days, and sometimes I can be pretty stubborn to accept that things are changing and not the same as they once were.
Everyone is facing some sort of challenge, illness, fear, or hurt. While I don't particularly like to focus on the negative, meeting someone where they are with empathy and a safe space has the oppurtunity to connect us on such deep levels, and that's worth the fight. Afterall, my husband always says that if love heals, than I'm basically cancer free already.
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