Conclusion

Concluding this project is very bittersweet. One part of me is very thankful that I experienced this amazing opportunity and I truly feel that I've grown a lot as a person. Another part of me still struggles to grasp that this is a major turning point in my journey with soccer. However, if I've learned one thing throughout this project, it's that my dream to play soccer professionally is only one chapter in the book that is my relationship with soccer. 

I've realized that my perspective on my passion for soccer was always binary. I was either going to achieve my dream of playing professionally or I was cutting soccer out of my life completely. I'm not sure when I became so locked into this outlook on soccer but in retrospect, it had a significantly negative effect on my overall experience with soccer. I enjoyed every moment that I got to play but it was for all the wrong reasons. I loved playing soccer because I knew that every second with the ball at my feet was a chance to improve and every minor improvement got me one step closer to playing soccer professionally. I was so tunnel-visioned in my dream that I rarely stopped to appreciate the present. 

This realization came to me as I got to hear from more and more people about their soccer journeys. When people told me stories about their time playing, they focused on the people they met, the places they went, and how they've grown. No one had fond memories of practicing alone for hours or constantly being frustrated that they weren't playing at a certain level. Yet, these were the first memories that came to mind when I thought about soccer. I shared many of the same experiences that people shared with me but, I never focused on them until later reflecting on this project. I found myself falling back in love with soccer as I reminisced on all the funny stories with my teammates, the beautiful places I've traveled to, and the valuable lessons coaches taught me. 

After developing this newfound love for soccer, my dream of playing professionally felt less like a failure and more like another fond memory that helped me grow as a person. This also allowed me to reflect on all the conversations I had in a new light. Going into this project, I knew I would learn how soccer plays a role in other people's lives but I didn't think this would be very useful because I was convinced that I would never enjoy soccer in the same way that I would have if I reached my dream. I heard all sorts of stories; some people coached Little League teams, some watched their favorite teams, some sold soccer merchandise, and some played soccer video games. One day it finally clicked, everything that made me love soccer growing up was still attainable even if I was no longer following my dream. 

I don't know how soccer will play a role in my life in the future. I have a few hopes, like maybe watching my kids play soccer or coaching a team but I'm honestly not sure.  This uncertainty used to be very unsettling because all I've ever known was chasing my dream. Yet, I can now confidently say that whatever I end up doing will keep me in love with soccer because I'll always make new memories, travel to new places, and learn more lessons.