What happened when I intentionally focused on myself

The day I decided to focus on myself was the hardest day of my life. The past year has been so challenging with the pandemic, yet, I found a courage within myself to start a journey I had longed for. So many things have happened since; I found myself enjoying things I never thought I would and I was so focused on completely changing the way I live, what I do and who I talk to because I did not realize the consequences that have already taken over my life. Nevertheless, I found a glimpse of hope within myself; I became too focused on loving myself, changing my lifestyle and removing negative people from my life. I started telling myself that I embarked on a self-love diet, and I was loving each moment of it. Deciding to achieve something right when everything in the world is going wrong, I think it is the hardest decision to make, but the outcomes are what make it worthy. The first and most important thing I started doing was owning a journal where I could express each dissatisfaction and frustration that was holding me back. I pointed out the three most important areas that this self-love diet needs: the mind, body and soul.

First of all, I started writing on my journal about my mind first because if my mind is not in the right place, then how is my body or soul going to be renewed? Firstly, I made a list of things I am most grateful about and that is where I realized that I have indeed way too many things to be grateful about, but was not aware in the past. After that, I created a sort of board with things I wanted to start achieving; I wanted to relax my mind first so that I could focus better on my upcoming plans and it worked out great. Treating myself with small, but significant things was so important because it taught me how to value my personal belongings more. When I bought myself something, even if it was just a simple small thing, that meant so much because I cared about it more. The treating would not stop there; I started watching my favorite shows again, watching movies and hanging out with people whom I dearly loved. This being said, I did cut off many ‘friends’ in my life because they held unnecessary remarks about me and I no longer wanted to live with that. Oh, what a relief that was! I did not realize the toxic people that were present in my life and how much they had messed up with my mind. And, not once did I look back and regret this decision because I knew that this was crucial when trying to get my life together. That was something very much needed in my life and mind and I am grateful that it was a successful step in my journey.

Secondly, I began with my body transformation. This was the hardest, yet the most astonishing and shocking transformation in my life. When I started caring about my health and what I eat, it became much easier. I started out plain and simple: eating in moderation and working out a lot at home. Two months went by and I still found myself in the same position I had started before, however, this time, my determination was only becoming stronger. Regardless of everything, I still kept going and finally, I had found a small change and that was all it took to continue this journey. After starting to notice the change in my appearance, my mind was full of contentment because that is what I wanted all along: a better mindset for my health and body, and I had finally changed so drastically. Apart from physical appearance, I started to care more about my health by cooking meals for myself, going out for walks and pampering my skin with skincare products. Additionally, my interest for skincare grew bigger and as a result, I treated my skin and body better by nourishing it with all the right things. Working out became a routine I very much enjoyed because it helped me take my mind off of the pandemic, the tiring online learning process and so much more that was happening around us. There was not a single day that would go by that I would not feel inspired to start working out and taking progress pictures that I hoped I would see in the future when I would reach my goal. And that is exactly what happened, the progress pictures were there for me to applaud myself for this successful transformation. To me, this area was the hardest to achieve, but the results afterwards are what made it easier.

Lastly, another important area that needed a change was my soul. I began by creating positive affirmations for myself by changing the way I used to see things. I ‘unplugged’ my soul from all the negative energy that had clouded my mind, body and soul. Nevertheless, there were days when I would spend thinking of all the things I could improve to better my soul. Praying was the thing that stuck with me from the day I started this journey up until now because it was such a peaceful time that it made my mind and soul relax from all the daily issues. Apart from praying, the improvement of my soul continued due to the fact that I decided to be present and mindful of all my surroundings, not just myself. I took time to emotionally and spiritually let go of things that no longer were valuable to me and by decluttering feelings and people, my soul was feeling at ease. When writing down my thoughts, worries and goals, my soul felt better and it was like a therapy to me because by pouring out my feelings, wishes and hopes on a journal, it made them seem more real and the negativity was long gone. Nourishing and enhancing my soul was a crucial task in order to maintain the balance in my life.

Ultimately, what I realized throughout this journey is the fact that oftentimes, we put strict rules on our self-love, but love should always be unconditional. The pandemic has had a huge effect on everyone, whether in a positive or negative way, however, the past year was a year full of changes and achievements too. Now, while writing this piece of my story during the pandemic, I wish for this to become an inspiration to anyone who is looking for a sign of change or has already gone through a similar journey. Changing your ways of living and thinking in order to better them, is the essential part in this self-love diet and that is when you will feel at peace with yourself. There are no justifications to start a change, because in the midst of all this worldwide chaos, I found courage and hope within myself to embark on a self-love journey. And believe me, when you see all the pieces within you as components trying to help, self-love becomes unconditional and it is this kind of love that all of us deserve. To conclude, I would like to thank myself for making such decisions during a tough time and for sticking to them throughout everything because the end result was remarkable.