What day is it today?

It was too good to be true. Two weeks off from uni, I would be home all day, having a good time and just sleeping a lot. Little did I know, it was so much more than just sleeping. It was a nightmare. A completely new experience, something out of movies. Scary movies. It all started on a Wednesday and feels like it is never going to end. An experience that shaped me, made me different, taught me, broke me, but made me stronger. For me, everything is a little foggy even though it’s so recent. My memories don’t sit right in my mind, they are chaotic and mixed with each other, and however, they created their own space in my brain that follows me along everywhere. What started off as a free vacation, turned off to be a monster!

At first, everyone was confused, including me. It was scary but yet so funny. Scary because no one knew what to expect, and funny just for the same reason. My days would start and end as I refreshed the news websites to read what was happening around the world, the TV would always be on the news channel with special broadcasts about the pandemic. Social media was as active as never before, everyone had so much to say about everything. In the first few weeks I could sense two kind of opinions mostly, those who thought that this was all political and a big, fat lie, and those who were so scared for their lives. I was both scared and confused. I didn’t really know what to think, one thing I was so sure of was the fact that this was a very serious matter. The whole world was on a pause and everyone was all ears for what’s next to come. Quarantine, testing, shutdowns, lockdowns, empty cities, deaths and so much more. These were the main words to surround us, everything around us became the virus. One thing I am so grateful for is the fact that I went through everything with my family. I don’t know what I would do without them.

I had two options in front of me: I would either lay on my bed all day or get up and make use of the time I had in front of me. And I chose the second one. The first thing I decided I was going to do was waking up early and getting to bed early. It made me feel productive and accomplished. I started working out, at first it was so hard but I grew to love it. Now, it’s one of the most important parts of my day. I started to take care of my body, physically and emotionally. That being said, one thing that really helped me out during 2020 was my journal, I wrote so many things in there and now as I read back, I am so proud of how far I have come. Using skincare products every morning and night really created that self-time for me and I love it. Many friends of mine have started to cook in 2020 and I attempted that as well, however, I just know that for right now I don’t enjoy it as much. However, I was not cooking as much this pandemic but I got better at eating clean and healthy food.

Social media and the internet was everything we had in front of us for months, therefore, its impact was inevitable. As much as I knew that being online was causing me so much anxiety I had no other option to stay in touch with my friends and the world. I decided to discover something new that I would like and would help me escape reality. And that’s when I started watching True Crime stories, I became obsessed with them and was so entertained. Chatting with friends, Facetime with relatives away was a daily activity. On the other hand, during all of these crazy times, one thing that kept me on track with the normal world was school. Even though it was online, it felt like that was the only “normal” thing I could do. I had much more time to study, write, finish homework and basically just be a better student. There were so many challenges that followed online classes and it took us a while to get used to it but at the end of the day it really was what kept me busy.

Lastly, looking back to the beginning of the pandemic and where we are right now, feels like there are decades in between. March 2020 marked a never ending year, but weirdly enough I don’t even remember properly what really happened. All I know is that this year taught me to be grateful. I am so happy I chose to work on myself, so happy that my family was around me. I am grateful for my health and for the fact that I managed to stay safe. I have made so much progress on who I am and that’s so important to me. I really did choose to be better but there were many days where life was not all colors and I would just crawl back to bed to hide from the anxiety of this mystery. Those days were the hardest because I couldn’t run away and cry in silence, everyone was around. But I have come to realize that life is really all about taking one thing at a time and you will be fine. Good days are ahead of us and I am so excited for what’s to come in life for me.