My short story during the pandemic, year 2020

“No one will ever know the violence it took to become this gentle”.

Spoiler alert: this story is filled with insecurity, rollercoaster of emotions and some ugly truths. But it is also filled with a major comeback, peace in my soul and grace that saved my life.

This pandemic really made me rethink my life in a really thorough way. Things were scary and wild and we had no idea what is going on half the time.

And I kept saying to myself these are hard times, but there is a silver lining.

And it was true indeed.

It was hard getting the courage to wake up everyday not knowing what is going on. Maybe we needed this “break”, but I did not know how much stress and anxiety I had inside me until then. I really was hiding some emotions and memories, that I did not want to think, inside me for so long. It took me a while to get up and do something. And I found peace when I Knew that these are not normal times and that I should not have normal expectations of myself. I told myself, do not beat yourself up over how you work from home, we are in a middle of a global crisis. Allow yourself to just exist rather than achieve; because just how a person does not appreciate what he has until that particular thing is taken away from them, the same happened to us. It made us realize that what matters the most is health, family and love. And so the time slipped by. The days were so much alike, I barely noticed the months pass. So I had to get up and said to myself “be brave”, “be brave enough to be bad at something new”.

Therefore, this story is to all the people who feel lost at times, and they do not have anyone to depend on. Do not forget, you have yourself.

So go on by doing the best you can. Go on by offering comfort to others who can not go on.

Go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass and allowing the pleasure in other days.