PANDEMIC TIME; CONNECTING AND DISCONNECTING WITH RELATIVES AND FRIENDS

Life was going on as it ever does, our parents were going to work, we were going to school or university, everyone was doing their everyday activities and one March night it just stopped. The News about a virus spreading in the province of Wuhan in China had been circulating for at least three months, but none of us were prepared for a worldwide shut down. By that point, we knew the seriousness of the situation, a truth we were neglecting to believe was made obvious, how could it not be when the whole world announced a lockdown?! What we and perhaps many other people thought was that the quarantine was going to last for possibly four months, and then by summer we were going to go back to our lives and everything was going to go back to normal, however, that was just us dreaming with our eyes open.

How we connected and disconnected with family and friends in the time that was to follow is going to be portrayed in this paper from two different perspectives many might relate to.

First perspective

At the beginning, of course we weren't as aware about the reality of the situation, to me at least the lockdown was “a quick break from life”. Being quarantined at home with my family more precisely, staying inside the house with not much contact with the outside world was not particularly difficult for me at first, I had spent the entire winter break doing just that ironically. Having said that, this time was different, the whole family was constantly at home, we weren’t getting to spend time with our friends and we had no choice, but to interact with one another. Even though my parents were constantly stressed about providing us with groceries and buying as many sacks of flour as possible, us kids were taking the situation lightly, and we were engaging in fun activities. Fortunately, I share a yard with my cousins, and since I was healthy we got to spend a lot of time together.

Most days of spring were just us, some teenagers and some children as young as five engaging in the same conversations. Listening to their stories made me see my childhood life again, it was like listening to my memories. Furthermore, at least, for once in our life we felt that we had the whole neighborhood roads to ourselves, it is unfortunate to say but since there are several businesses surrounding our neighborhood, we never felt that this place was really ours.

We made the most out of it. We went around and rode bikes, I taught my younger cousin how to ride a bike, we were playing sports, all together teenagers and small children. It was heartwarming to see my brothers and cousins' excitement in their eyes, they were genuinely happy and, in those moments, I was thinking why we have not been doing this more often at least since we were children ourselves. When it comes to my parents, my father had this sudden wish to take us to go hiking, spend time in nature, we had planned to go to Berisha mountains amusement park, everyone was thrilled, sadly when we arrived, we were instructed to return by the police. The day was still well spent since we got to visit our village, had a small picnic, hiked and got to hear stories about my grandparents, who used to live there. So, not only did I have a wonderful time, but got to learn more about my family as well.

While during these times I connected with my family, when it comes to my friends, I cannot say the same happened, actually it was completely the opposite. During the quarantine what I realized was that when I am with my friends, I am not completely myself, I tend to change my personality based on how it fits best their character, and that it was time to stop all of that! Four months had gone by with no contact except the accessional texts, we decided to go out one summer night, it just felt off not like I was used to, I couldn’t engage in the conversations, come up with jokes as I usually do, it just was not right. Maybe it was the effects of the time apart, at least we were in a pandemic living every day on edge with the fear that we or our family might get sick, getting every day the horrific news of what was going on, and of course that took a toll on my mental health and it changed me as a person. Having said that, surely, we did not cut contacts, we went away on one of my friend's house the following month all the six of us, and had a wonderful time that it helped us take our minds of off the Pandemic, and get away from home for a little while, the fact that we got to spend a lot of time in the nature was the best of all.

Summer went by, and we went on talking less and less, in a way I isolated myself. It was like my thoughts created a prison that I couldn’t get away from. They kept checking up on me, saying that they miss me, that I’m not the way I used to be. It hurt having them say that, I couldn't really understand them or myself how I could outgrow or distance myself from my childhood friends, from the ones I grew up with. Connecting and disconnecting again with family and friends has been an ongoing cycle since the beginning of the Pandemic, mostly because we're not seeing each other as often as we'd like in order to stay safe, unfortunately, I see this happening until the world heals.

Second perspective

The pandemic time was quite challenging for me, as undoubtedly was for all of us. It is true the fact that the pandemic affected all of us, but in different ways and circumstances. I was home the day when I found out that we were going to get into lockdown. I was quite scared, not only from the virus, but also from the way that this lockdown would affect me and my family. This was not only a feeling of fear, but also a feeling of a great confusion; a confusion that consisted of various questions, such as how my life is going to be from now on, how much is this difficult time going to last, and whether I am going to be able to connect with my relatives and friends during this time.

At the first days of the pandemic, I remember us as a family feeling quite scared but also careful, following all instructions and advice from health institutions. It was the time when I stopped doing everything, and all I was doing was watching the news continuously, trying to stay in touch with any development possible about the virus. I cannot deny that it was really difficult for me. We really decided to protect ourselves from the virus, but I do not think that we considered the fact that how this lockdown and disconnection from daily life would affect our mental health.

Days went by, and I had no contact with my relatives or my friends. Dad was warning us everyday to stay inside as much as it is possible, and go out just in case it is something very urgent to do. However, even though we had something urgent to do or buy, he told us that there is no need to get out, because he would get them for us. We always kept criticizing him that he was being very strict, and that there was no need to exaggerate the situation. However, we knew that he was quite worried, and he was acting this way only to protect us. It was the time that I was feeling quite homesick and tired with the situation. There were times that we used to play different games with my siblings in order to pass the time more quickly, and those games worked a bit. But, still there were lots of other days available at home, and even those games got boring.

After I was done with playing games, I started to read online books, and this method started working quite well. It was really great to get my mind out of the present, and think about much better things rather than staying isolated at home.There were also times when I could not get together with my siblings, and we had disagreements for little things. However, a few moments later we started talking to each other without apologizing, as we do all the time.

I remember the month of May coming, when finally the measures were a bit facilitated, and finally our dad was convinced to let us go out, after two whole months. We went to a park near our buildings, after buying something at the store. Even though it was a basic activity in normal life, in those circumstances and after a whole isolation at home, I felt as if I was in paradise. It was great for me to change the environment, and see nature outside.

The pandemic was quite hard for all of us for sure. However, there were different things we chose or we had to do, in order to facilitate the process of isolation. This essay’s purpose was to show how we reacted to quarantine, and what we experienced during that time, as well as whether we decided to socialize or not. This process was explained in two different perspectives, and we hope and believe that most of us will find ourselves in one of these two perspectives.