Letter to myself 10 months ago

Hey, you’re really stuck, huh? What started as “no university obligations for two weeks” turned to “no activities whatsoever for months”. You’re lost right now, aren’t you? There are no answers for you right now. Let me make this clear however, I still have no answers for you. Pretty disappointing right? However, I do have a piece of advice; Wait a little longer.

You are probably noticing every little thing about yourself now. How fast your roots grow, how weirdly shaped a part of your face is, and how your skin is looking without having to put on make-up all the time. You started working out, since you have time now, and you think it will only last a month, so it is the perfect time to take care of your body. However, a month goes by. You’re still in your room, in your house, and you haven’t even gone to the store downstairs. What is happening? I repeat; Wait a little longer.

The roots of your hair, have become a very anxious aspect of your living. You start coloring them because you notice the black line in the blonde hair, and you hate it. You want to get rid of it just like you want to get rid of the quarantine. You are only able to control one of them, so you decide to do it constantly. Working out has started to become a hassle, you do it because you have to rather than you wanting to like you did in the beginning. Everything you eat, has become troublesome. You are tired of the food at home and you are longing for junk and fast food that you used to love to eat when you went out with your friends. The weather is sunny outside, but you are stuck inside. Wait a little longer.

School isn’t the same anymore. What began as you being happy that you are avoiding a few assignments, turned to an even worse number of extra assignments. Everything was new to you. When that first faculty related notification came around, you started to panic. You are anxious about heading head first to the unknown. Online?? You have to do it online! You don’t see your peers anymore; you don’t get that feeling of having accomplished something. They somehow, in one way or another, don’t exist anymore. Nothing makes sense. You finish classes, finish assignments and you are still, stuck at home. Wait a little longer.

What do I mean with this? Do not give up yet. The sun will shine even when you are able to go outside. You will see your friends that you missed for so long. You will see your university even if it is for a short time for an exam. You will fall in love. Yes, you heard me!! You, exactly you, will find love. Every second you are spending to question your existence at home right now, will be completely worth it, once you

start talking to them. You will get your answers and your reasonings. So yeah, maybe I did lie to you when I initially started this and told you there are no answers, although, I still do not have an answer on when all of this will be over, I am letting you know that it will get easier. You will find what you deserve, and you will get used to everything around you. You will finally be part of a new concept that is worrying you deeply at the moment. Trust me, hang on and wait a little longer. You got this!