Climate Change Has Stolen My Life
WORDS BY MOZHGAN
ART BY HELLA
Today, like other days, I woke up feeling the lovely warmth of the sun. When I wake up every day I like to close my eyes for a few minutes, feeling the warm weather and thinking of the misfortunes I have suffered so far. I think of days when I had the chance to look over my left shoulder and see my daughter. She was a beautiful girl with blue eyes, white skin, a small nose and curly hair. My girl was six years old and I always saw my future through her eyes. She was my life and I could never imagine my life without her. It was all of my happiness to hear her calling me “Mother Jan”, until I lost her.
My history is very heartbreaking; people know me as a miserable woman who has lost all of her happiness. My sad days started in April, 2021, when my husband died in a car accident and my daughter was injured. They were on their way to Kabul, as my husband was invited to his best friend’s wedding party, when their cars crashed with a truck. The driver and my husband died, and my daughter’s legs were badly injured; that is why she could not stand on her feet, and I carried her in a wheelchair. After losing my husband, I lost not only my soulmate, but also my life. My happy days changed in a way I could not even imagine. Following that sad accident, people always told me that I had lost my husband, so I did not have a supporter in my life, but we should never forget that this is the rule of the world we are living in.
On that day, I was at home when my phone rang. I saw that my husband was calling so I answered – but it was not him. There was a stranger talking to me, he said that my husband and my daughter were in a hospital in Kabul and that I should immediately go to Kabul. When I entered the hospital, my husband and my daughter were in the emergency room. The doctor told me that I could see them for just two minutes. I entered the room and I could not believe that they were there. My husband opened his eyes for the last time and told me, “take care of our daughter and keep her happy”. I cried and the doctors told me to go out. I was waiting there, crying and praying and then, the doctors ran fast and entered the emergency room and after ten minutes, they told me that my husband had passed away.
I was poor and I could not even afford to pay for the hospital, so my husband’s friend paid for the hospital expenses and for my daughter's drugs. The doctors told me my daughter could not walk and, thus, she should have a surgery, but I did not have enough money to pay for her surgery. I asked the doctor to postpone her surgery for next year. They agreed, warning me of the bad results if I did not take my daughter back for the surgery.
Women can experience different challenges that men cannot imagine. We lived in Khoshi village of Logar province. My husband and I were mainly dependent on our agricultural products. We had a small farm and each year we cultivated vegetables. We also had 9 apple trees and 6 apricot trees. That year, the whole spring and summer, I worked hard from dawn to dark alone. I cultivated vegetables and took care of my trees—the things my husband and I were doing when he was alive. But last year, I had to work harder than ever in order to earn money and take my daughter back to Kabul for her surgery. I promised her that she would be able to walk again and play with the other kids.
ART BY HELLA
She liked to play with the other kids, but they refused to play with my daughter as she could not walk and run with them and this made her really disheartened. It was really hard for me to see sorrows in her eyes. I felt her pain, but I did not have money to take her to the hospital and I knew that I could not afford to pay for all the surgery costs by selling the vegetables and fruits. So in my free time, I worked for people. I cleaned their houses, washed their clothes, and I even worked in their farmlands. I endured all of those difficulties just for my daughter.
In our village, we do not have health facilities and hospitals, so the people should travel to cities if they have a serious illness. My hands hurt due to the hard work and I started to get backaches. At night, my daughter kissed my hands and took them in her small, soft and warm hands, asking me what happened to them. I always answered her with “nothing”, but I knew that she knew everything.
I worked hard to afford to pay for her surgery, but this year, unlike the other years, we experienced many rainy days, which destroyed most of my vegetables and fruits, and I could hardly take care of my farm. It was almost the end of the summer season, and I collected the fruits and vegetables and sold them at a very low cost. The money I earned was not enough, so I borrowed the rest of the money from my relatives. My daughter “Meena” was really happy as we were preparing to go to Kabul.
ART BY HELLA
Finally, the day my daughter and I were waiting for had come and we were on our way to Kabul. That day, the weather was cloudy and rainy. Meena was so happy. She looked at me and said, “Mother Jon, we are so strong. Aren’t we?” and I answered, “Yes, my dear”. It had been raining heavily since we started our trip, but it got heavier when we were on our way. After one hour of driving, the driver told us to be careful as we were passing a bridge which had a creek under it. We were all afraid as we saw that the flood was coming and the bridge could be damaged, so the driver drove as fast as he could and we passed the bridge. I looked back and saw that the flood damaged the bridge. We were all afraid, as the flood covered all the roads and alleys. The driver could not drive, so all of the people got out of the car, but I did not know what to do. The driver himself got out of the car to rescue himself and left me alone with my daughter. We had no choice, so I hugged my daughter tightly and got out of the car. I shouted and asked for help, but no one helped me. All of them were trying to rescue themselves without paying attention to my daughter’s disability. I still remember how I cried and begged for their help to carry my daughter but no one helped me. I hugged my daughter and told her to tighten her hands around my neck. I was hardly moving until we were drawn in the flood and then, I did not feel my daughter’s hand around my neck. Yes, I lost my daughter in the flood and after that, I did not try to rescue myself, but maybe it was not my time to die. I clashed with an old tree and tied my hands around it.
I still cannot bear the burden of her death as I could not rescue her and, thus, I feel ashamed. I can never forget those beautiful blue eyes. After the flood, most of the people lost their family members, especially the children and women. Most of the homes, trees and farms were damaged. A week later, the people came together in a mosque to share their sympathy with those who had lost their family members. Then, they started talking about the floods and recent natural hazards. Most of them said that we are paying for our offenses and Allah is punishing us, but there was a young girl who had received her Bachelor’s Degree in environmental studies from Kabul University. She said, “Floods and droughts are the result of the recent changes in the atmosphere which are caused by industrialized countries and it is getting worse than ever…”.
She was explaining why we were witnessing these devastating climatic hazards and I asked myself, “Why should I and the other poor people pay for these climatic hazards, when we did not cause it? Why do developed countries care less about the lives of our children?”
The flood killed my daughter and I could do nothing for her. I wish the world knew how hard I worked to cultivate vegetables and take care of my trees to pay for my daughter’s surgery and then, severe rains damaged most of them and at the end, the flood killed my daughter and damaged my farm and my home.
I am still alive to tell people to stop damaging our environment, as you are not only responsible for climate changes, but also for the lives which are ended, for the happiness which is changed to sorrows, and for the children who are dying of the food shortages.