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Hey! My name is Thomas Groff-Barragan and I am a French-Colombian boarding student at St. Stephen's. While I am still undecided as to where I will go to college next year, I am planning on majoring in Film Studies with the goal of hopefully working as a screenwriter/director.
This SIP is my first step toward that goal as I will be making the skeleton for a feature film. My end product will be a step outline that includes a brief description of every scene within the three acts of the film. In addition to that, I am producing a short film that can serve as a proof of concept for the larger work.
I've been making shorts for the past three years and something I've come to realize when it comes to filmmaking is that you learn as you do. Through this project, I hope to gain a better understanding of feature screenwriting and transition into college with a film that is ready to be pitched and written.
Week 1
To give some context to what I have been doing in this first week, I have to dive into some specifics of the story I'm writing. I am basing my screenplay on a brief feature film treatment I had to write for my USC SCA application. The treatment I wrote revolved around a Mexican immigrant who works in San Diego by himself in order to send remittances back to his family in Mexico. When his mother becomes very ill, he has to send back a large sum of money, which he doesn't have. In an effort to collect more money, Alvaro, the main character, gets a new part time job as a night-shift janitor in a music conservatory. There he meets Ray, a local musician that has fallen from grace and works as a janitor in order to make a living. As they get to know each other, Ray learns of Alvaro's issue back home, and Alvaro realizes Ray is a very caring yet eccentric person at the same time. Ray doesn't shy away from making arbitrary actions, which is why he pressures Alvaro to help him steal the conservatory's instruments in order to re-sell them and acquire the money his colleague so desperately needs. This sets them off on a perilous adventure to make it back to Alvaro's hometown safely and on-time to save his mother.
Through this film I want to bring together two characters that are marginalized from society for different reasons. Alvaro is completely foreign to his new American surroundings while Ray is isolated from a place he would like to call home. Both characters share the feeling of being disregarded by others and meet while on a job that is often overlooked as it takes place at night.
I'm writing all this because the first week saw me consider a lot of different ways I could change different aspects of my story. The first thing I did was talk to my mentor, Mark Smoot, about some of the things I wasn't very happy with. While I initially thought the 3rd act needed the most work, it was actually my 1st act that needed modifications. This mostly entails a change in the plan Alvaro and Ray come up with to collect the money. Instead of making them rob the conservatory they meet in, we discussed it would be more interesting to have them get involved with people in a mafia of sorts and scamming them. This is because in doing so, they unleash a chain of events that make the story develop naturally into a second and third act. Ray's mysterious character could have previous ties to this mafia, which is somewhat indicative of his background and fall from grace.
We also discussed slight changes I could do to the characters to make their dynamic more engaging. Notably, I decided to make Alvaro a teenager--a lot younger than Ray. This is because their relationship sees a flip in maturity as Alvaro is often the more cautious and cool-headed one.
As I look into ways I can change the story, I'm also starting to figure out how I can map out the different events into a beat sheet and eventually into three different acts. To do so, I am reading Writing Movies, a book Mark recommended to me. As of now, I am reading its first chapter on Plot.
Simultaneously, I have also been working on polishing my short film's screenplay. While I thought it was mostly finished, I ran into some issues with my main character as he lacks agency and complicity. I am currently working on some changes so I can hopefully start production next week.
Week 2
The second week saw my continued work on the beats of my feature film idea as I kept on reading Writing Movies. The book's 1st chapter on plot clearly outlined the 5 main beats in a traditional screenplay:
1: Inciting Incident
2: Plot Point 1
3: Midpoint
4: Plot Point 2
5: Climax
This scan I took of the book shows when these events happen on a timeline with the three acts of a traditional film. It also shows in which page of the screenplay they should roughly appear. It also taught a lot of valuable information about what each beat should do for the story as they not only push the story forward but also fulfill very specific purposes.
bookscan.pdfMy outlining work this week mostly consisted of identifying the 5 main beats in my story and finding ways I could link them. To do so, I did a first draft of what the book calls a Story Map (as seen below). It basically consists of an outline of the feature with its 5 main beats and explanation of how they lead to each other. I showed my first version of this story map to my mentor yesterday and discussed its flaws as well as different ways I could improve it.
Week 2 has also seen me work on my short film's screenplay. I initially thought I had something close to a final draft, but upon revisions with Mr. Dolan, I decided it needed a good amount of changes (sadly, that's the process of screenwriting--always more revisions than expected). The main flaws lied in my main character. When reading the script, it was hard to determine if the film was really about him. This is mostly because he was getting dragged around by Ray, the secondary character, and this made him lack complicity when they decide to rob the conservatory they are working in. In order to improve these aspects of the screenplay, I am looking at ways I can dive into the main character's world. This includes adding scenes where we go back home with him and get to know his living conditions and potentially his roommates who are living in similar conditions. Essentially, it comes down to creating a series of events in which the audience sees Alvaro consider Ray's heist plan so we understand his complicity. It also shows development. Hopefully, I will have a final draft in the next two days so I can start contacting my actors to set up the first shoot as soon as possible.
I would encourage juniors to really consider doing the SIP. You can really do anything you want. In my situation, I was never able to find the right opportunity to dive into feature screenwriting as it is a discipline that takes time and headspace to learn, mostly when it comes to considering the different structural aspects of it. If you have a project you've been wanting to do for a while, definitely do the SIP.
Week 3
Week 3 started off with a meeting with Mark, my mentor. Prior to the meeting, I sent him the final version of my short's screenplay. During the meeting, he gave me the green light to go forward and produce it. Pictured on the right are the title page and first scene of my short. If you're curious to read the whole script, here's the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/11_i-YDw39pBaxLhOYVEs_Uq2mglyVTau/view?usp=drive_link
While I've spent some time talking about my story map, the main events of the week revolved around my short film. To get a final version I was happy with, I made two changes that I believe really helped the story. I got rid of a character that I introduced as a friend of Ray's who owned a music shop. This took the story away from Alvaro as it dove too much into Ray's world. Instead I decided to dive more into Alvaro's mind by going back to his living place with him. Additionally, I added a scene where he has a mishap with a faculty person at the conservatory. In this scene, Alvaro is treated condescendingly, which is what finally convinces him to not feel bad for going along with Ray's plan to rob the conservatory.
While I'm going to dive into my short film in the next paragraph, our meeting was mostly about the changes I should do to my story map. Having digested the first draft of my story map, Mark came with some concerns and ideas. His main concern was whether or not I would have enough substance to include in the 2nd act of my film. The story I began with at the start of the SIP was one that stretched out too much; to the point that the 2nd act included so many events it felt like the story ended before the 3rd act. So, as I made the the first draft of my story map, my main goal was to streamline the story into a smaller number of events by getting rid of my 3rd act and working from there. Nevertheless, I might have streamlined it too much. While Mark and I decided that I should keep the main structural changes I made, we talked about how I should brainstorm more events to include after the midpoint of the film.
The midpoint happens when Alvaro and Ray pull off a rigged poker game to collect the money for the former's mom. The midpoint is supposed to transform the film from a scam/heist film into a road film as it is the beat in the film that brings a new fresh aspect to the story. The events I have to brainstorm should happen after they hit the road.
I discussed different things with Mark. Should they stop to visit a friend of Ray's along the road? Should Ray perhaps get shot during this visit? If he does, should he die? Or perhaps should he survive, but also then be the reason why they take too much time to cross the border and save Alvaro's mom. These are all things I have been considering as I develop my story map.
To lighten the tone of the film, I decided to include a montage of random things they do to prepare. Ray and Alvaro are seen pretending to know how to fight. Nevertheless, it is obvious they are goofing around as they later decide to paint their janitor jump suits to bring more character into their heist. This scene is also supposed to show they are getting closer throughout the film.
Finally, I have also started breaking down the script as I am now looking at the amount of shots I need and the days in which I want to do them. Finally I have also started to shoot list the scenes I want to shoot first.
My actor will be Mr. Dolan as Ray.
And Brandon Rodriguez as Alvaro.
Week 4
This week I started shooting my film! I spent the first two days of the week planning my first shoot which was happening on Wednesday night. It was also the only shoot that required leaving campus so I made sure to plan it early and get it out of the way as quickly as possible.
The scene consisted of a dinner scene between Alvaro and Ray after the teenager's first day at the conservatory. Ray invites Alvaro to grab burgers at Sandy's Frozen Custard after he notices something is occupying his young colleague's mind. I chose Sandy's because it's a classic Austin spot in Barton Springs Boulevard. Essentially, it comes as an effort to make the film a product of its surrounding city.
Although it might not sound too exciting, a part of the filmmaking process that takes a lot of time is the planning part. This comes with two components: Planning/Scheduling, and Shot listing.
I spent a good amount of time meeting with both Mr. Dolan and Brandon prior to the shoot to read over the scene and talk about different things that are worth noting like the character's intention, certain line changes, blocking, etc.
To accompany this process, I also planned the shots and equipment. I needed to get the look I desired by making a shot list. A shot list is, as its name suggests, is a list of the different shots I want to get during the shoot, with the respective equipment. I knew I wanted to get some simple establishing shots at the burger joint before moving to another location where they could sit and have a conversation. For their conversation, I also wanted an establishing shot from both the front and the back, on top of a middle close up, and 2-shot and singles for each actor. The diagram for this situation is below. The shots are numbered with their respective lenses.
And here's what that looked like on set :)
I went for a shoulder mount to go for a more natural tone with the shakiness of the handheld. The rest of the week was spent working on synchronizing audio and starting the edit of the film. More shoots to come this week!
Conclusion
Last week of the project!!!
The exclamation points are not me celebrating the ending but instead they are my excitement at seeing everything finally come together. This past week saw me shooting the rest of the short. Surprisingly, we were able to shoot the rest of the film in one afternoon with a 6 hour shoot on Wednesday. I've been editing it ever since. Today I finished a rough first version that runs for 11 minutes. The next few days are going to see me adjust some color and audio details as well as clipping some time off the runtime.
When it comes to the feature concept, I was able to come back to it after finishing all my shoots. I believe the short break I took from it helped me a lot because I was able to look at it again with fresh ideas. The main change I decided to make was to give the story a more defined protagonist. Until now, Alvaro and Ray were supposed to be on the run from some mobsters; but this felt too vague. I decided to make Joe, the man to whom they sell the instruments after the heist, a drug dealer that owns a music shop as a money laundering scheme. He cheats them out of the money they deserve after the heist which in turn allows him to ask them for favors in the sketchier drug world. Eventually, the two characters run away during a job with a large sum of money, setting off the train of events for the rest of the film. The 3rd act stays the same to what I initially had in mind: They don't make it in time, and Alvaro's mom dies. Nevertheless, Alvaro and Ray find themselves in a place that suits them better; a new home.
I recently talked about this new series of events with my mentor, Mark, and he agreed it sounded a lot better. I'm going to be finalizing my treatment in the next two days alongside my short film.
With this project coming to and end, I have to thank a few people. Thank you Thank you Thank you to Mr. Dolan and Brandon Rodriguez for putting up oscar-worthy performances in record time. Thank you to Mark for giving me so much interesting insight into feature screenwriting and for being so patient with my lack of scheduling skills. And thank you to everyone at St. Stephen's that made my time in high school a time filled with passion and exploration into the things I love.
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