by Aaron Ginsburg
On July 6th, 2007 I was present when Abraham Pokrassa met Arnold Pokras for the first time at a restaurant in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, NY. Arnold's wife Lilya took me aside and told me about her lost American family, including picturesand a note. The families had been in touch until the mid-1960s. Lilya told me:
My grandfather's name was Grigory Shteiman. He was a tailor, a small business man from Pinsk, and received permission to live in Kiev.[Jews need permission to live outside of the Pale of Settlement under the Russian Empire, and could not legally live in Kiev without a permit. The rules often changed.ag] He died in 1924. My grandmother whose name I don't know, died in Babi Yar, along with her sisters Sonia and Vera. Vera was married, and had a son, who was also killed by the Nazis in Kiev.
My mother's name was name is Zina Shainskaja (Daxes)was born in Pinsk. Her maiden name was Shteiman. Her brother was Aaron Shteiman, but he changed his name to Harry Stern. Harry's wife was Celia (Granofsky). The children of Harry and Celia were Esther, Gerald, and Herbert. Esther was born around 1927, and Gerald was born in 1932 or 1933, and Herbert was born in 1939. Herbert was a dentist (correction-he was a rabbi, and then a psychiatrist). the graduation picture of Herbert is from Philadelphia, although we do not know what he was graduating from. Gerald became a Rabbi (correction-he became a dentist)in New York. Esther married someone whose last name was Diamond, Esther's children were Howard, Richard and Bruce Diamond. Bruce was born in 1949 or 1950. The American and Ukranian families were in touch in the 1960s thanks to a friend from the US who was able to travel to the USSR. . After a visit in 1967 Lilya and her sister were summoned to a meeting with the KGB (secret police). They were asked if they wanted to live in America. They said "Of course not" and their family then cut off contact with their American relatives. So Lilya's family had been nurturing the hope of reuniting for 40 years. She gave me pictures of Esther Diamond, Herbert,a picture that appeared to be Bar Mitzvah boy, a picture of Esther Diamond with her children, and a picture of Esther Diamond and her husband. When Lilya arrived in America she asked HIAS asked to help find the American family, but to no avail. At the end of our chat, Lilya intently looked and me and said, "Aaron, find my family." I arrogantly replied, "Piece of cake."
Two weeks later I was driving home from a wedding in New Jersey when I got a phone call. It was Lilya checking on my progress. I admitted that I had not started to look for her family. When I got home I posted the following message with the subject "Shteiman Stern Diamond family sought" to the Ukraine SIG (special interest group) on www.jewishgen.org, a website devoted to Jewish genealogy:
7/22/07
I have a friend who immigrated from the Ukraine within the last 20 years, and has been unable to locate her American cousins. Here is what she knows about them: [I inserted the description of the family that is near the beginning of the page] .If this sounds like a familiar family please contact me privately. Zina's daughter lives in the United States, and would like to be reunited with her family.
I received one reply the next morning:
There is RABBI BRUCE DIAMOND LIVING IN FT. MYERS, FL
THE PHONE # IS _____________
UNLISTED MAILING ADDRESS.
I KNOW NOTHING CONCERNING HIS FAMILY.
GOOD LUCK===
BERNICE
I immediately sent a message to Rabbi Bruce Diamond including Lilya's information about her American family:
...Rabbi Diamond, Is there any possibility that this is your family?
Rabbi Diamond promptly responded:
yes it is!
who are you?
B.D.
I forwarded your note to my mom she will be thrilled as am I.
Soon I had a chat with Rabbi Diamond, who confirmed that the 60's era Bar Mitzvah picture was of him. By the next morning I had another message:
Lilya called last night it was very moving and I gave her mom's cell number. I also just spoke with mom and gave her Lilya's number. The photos are very persuasive. I will write more soon, but I want mom and Lilya to speak first and then let things develop.
Heartfelt thanks for this great mitzvah~
Bruce
Later I heard from Rabbi Diamond's mother Esther Diamond, who was very excited as the following exchange makes clear:
Thank you for helping our family find us ..I am too overwhelmed to write too much but please give me time and I will speak with you personally.........Esther Diamond
Lilya gave more information about the family:
Grigory Shteiman's children included two men and three women. The oldest was Aaron Shteiman . Zina Shainskaja (Daxes) was the youngest. Her maiden name was Shteiman. The middle children were Simeon (Sam)?. Vera, and Sonia. Their birth order is unknown .Vera was married to David. Grigory's wife, and her daughters Vera and Sonia were killed at Babi Yar. Vera and David's son were killed by the Nazis at the beginning of the war. Simeon was married and had two daughters, Dora, and Lilya.
Zina had two daughters, Rosa and Lilya.
Lilya also told me that the last contact with the American family was in 1967, when her mother was suffering from cancer.
Esther Diamond followed up with more information:
7/26/07
Good Morning Aaron, Such an exciting time , so much history so many memories , I am not a very good typist so later on this morning, Ill call and tell you about this side of my family....My Father was a very exciting man,I adored him.., he was born before his time.. I just received a call from Lilya ..I told her a bit of history from this side of the family and ended with a promise \\to call her with more stories tonight if not .her phone bill will be astronomical speak to you soon Esther Diamond
7/27/07
I will try to give you some more information from this side of the family .My father was Aaron Shteiman in Russia,,, here in America he was Harry Stern.. He arrived after the first WW after making contacts with HIAS in Belgium..he had been taken into the Russian army as a lackey for a Russian officer who always referred to him as "Jew" My son, Rabbi Diamond, has a tape recording that he made of my Dad telling the story of his life. he tells about the Russian officer forcing him to play Russian roulette my father having to shoot at the officer whether he liked or not.. He had asked Dad what message he would like to leave for his grandchildren.. and it included his story about escaping from a field hospital after he had been wounded... he knew that my Grandmothers sisters lived in America so thru HiAS in Belgium they "vouched for" him and he came to America. (In 1961 I was in Antwerp with my Dad to my bothers wedding, Dad said he will take me to the house in which he had lived... he described it ,and believe it or not , he took me there as tho he had been there the day before)..I remember that he said it was wintertime when he arrived in NY.His aunt Zelda, my Grandmother Sura Rifka's (My Father's mothers name)sister took him to her home and wanted him to learn how to "lay floors." Laying floors was not his idea of a life's work... he went downtown to the Bowery area of New York...shoveled some snow...made a few Krupkas...and because he had seen peddlers carrying things to sell on their backs, he bought one or two pairs of pants and began peddling.. he was still with his aunt but slowly making a few dollars and accumulating a bit of merchandise..he met a man who had a uniform store on Bayard Street , he arranged to rent a spot in the store for his bit of merchandise .. they were becoming friendly when the man offered to introduce my Dad to one of his sisters.... but the sister didn't want to meet a peddler...eventually they did meet at a dance in Manhattan in a place called Webster Hall.. The gal had a box of candy that her date had given her... my father walked over and asked for a piece...his fingernails were dirty...the girl asked what did he do for a living..she was a talented wedding dress designer, who was making a good living while watching her married sister struggling,, she didn't want to have to struggle too. he was handsome with a great personality.she found out that he knew her brother, still. she didn't want to begin a relationship if it meant hard times. of course by now you must know that the girl was my Mother..My Mother had come here in 1916 ,actually she came to Canada and then to the States, this must have been 1922 or 23.....after a hectic courtship, he was busy building a small clothing store, and hard to nail down..they were married Dec25, 1926..he almost didn't marry her... my mother had arranged for a lovely wedding in a Hall in Brooklyn , it was getting close to midnight , all the guests were waiting for the ceremony, he still had not appeared so she asked a male friend of hers to marry her so that the cost of the wedding would not have been for naught...just then in walked my Dad, his Aunt Zelda and Aunt Anna. their husbands who were brothers named Saltzman,, he had been getting dressed for his wedding at my aunt Zelda's home , there they served some wine and hors d'oeuvres while they were getting together to take the groom to his wedding, . their children Esther, Sarah Annie and Willy ( Zelda's children) were there too.. my Dad never did well with alcohol or wine, and this night was no exception... he began to talk about and cry for his family in Russia, his aunts couldn't calm him down until late in the evening so they all arrived late for the wedding....and so finally, they were married... I was born 2 years later.. My Father made a living, he was a very hard worker..in 1932 my Brother Gerald was born and named for my Fathers Father Gregory....we lived in Boro Park Brooklyn, my Mother decided that we should live closer to my Fathers store ( I guess so that she would have a closer hold on him ) ,,which was at 104 third Ave NYC,,,so we moved to Manhattan to 441 East 15 ,,street ..My father met some friends, he didn't come home early.. my Mother was getting upset..in 1939 my brother Herbert was born and we moved to Brooklyn, in September of 1941 my parents bought a home on Ocean Parkway..and a summer cottage in White lake NY ...I know that when the war began my Dad was worried about his family in Kiev....I had seen their pictures, Portraits of his parents were always hanging in our home. after my Parents passed those portraits hang on my home..along with photographs of his sisters and brother... a million times I showed his sisters pictures to my family and friends because I am obese and looked like one of his sisters... my Father had a weight problem all his life, ate diet pills like candy and died of starvation of stomach cancer....but I am getting ahead of myself.. I am getting tired and Ill continue later.... if this letter is too full of unimportant information , tell me, and Ill write differently.. talk to you later.........Esther Diamond
On Esther Diamond's wall are pictures of the Shteiman family, and Lilya's family hung onto their pictures as well.
Esther referred to her Aunts who had married two Salzman brothers. She told me that the Salzman family was involved in the Yiddish theater, and asked me if I could help her find her cousin Esta Salzman, who she had not spoken to in many years. Naturally, I replied, "Piece of cake." we are grateful to Rabbi Bruce Diamond for helping check and correct some of the information on this page. Next: Salzman story.