reader feedback

“I checked out your website and really like it. Although I had never given this topic of disenfranchised grief much time or consideration, I found the content is really relevant and well covered. There were points I took away, such as how the perception of loss can affect one more than the loss itself; one's tendency to own the problem; and the need for personal responsibility to survive, alongside accepting empathy. I also liked the suggestion about living with a sense of mystery that surrounds the problem, rather than anxiety. I found the content applicable to disenfranchised loss and grief in general, namely my own experiences. I forwarded it to a friend who works with children of mentally ill parents” (social work student).

“looks like it'll help a lot of people” (psychiatrist in a public hospital setting).

“I have had a chance to look at your website. It seems very good. Concise, empathic, comprehensive and very much needed. I will pass it on to a few friends who work in this area” (Doctor in General Practice).

“it’s better than BeyondBlue’s Website - easier and more real” (adult COPMI).

“Thank you Suzette. I am sure this material will be helpful, I have sent it on to all social workers within Northern Health” (social worker).

“I have had a look at your article on the web and found it to be insightful, particularly the recovery tips, not just in relation to COPMI, but people who are suffering in general. I hope you don't mind if I quote you to some of my clients” (psychologist).

Hi Suzette, have read your web pages this morning. My reactions are: it was an easy read, well paced not too much detail but enough for the information to be useful. I imagine anyone that reads this - for personal or professional reasons would find it helpful. My overwhelming sense is that if l was a survivor, l would feel acknowledged, not judged and would experience a sense of comfort from reading the material. It is not prescriptive, allows for diversity of experience and encourages people to follow their own path, to trust their own instincts about their experiences. l really like this about your approach. You've included disclaimers which are important and links to other resources. It really sits well as a whole package as it is. Congratulations. The information will be helpful for many people I'm sure... And l feel very pleased for you for the satisfaction you would be gaining from having pulled this together. A lot of hard work and dedication (and heart) has gone into it” (clinical psychologist, trainer and consultant).

“This is a great website and I will pass it on to colleagues and even some BSW students. Thanks” (university lecturer).

Thanks so much for fantastic site. My dad was mentally Ill and killed himself when I was young. Family members completely denied there was any issue that could affect me after the suicide.

I think my way of adapting was to take on a "great artist" persona. It sort of worked for a while I am a very gifted... [information has been removed for confidentiality], but each time in my life I was confronted with professional struggles I have the great artist persona break down a little and I'm left with this sort of unformed feelings. I'm now with a therapist who is helping me at the point where we can get underneath the surface. Thanks for the web site info. You seem to really get this stuff.

Best, (Gifted Artist).

“Your website looks pretty good and has some very useful and easy to read (and understand) advice. The life-long tips are really very useful for anyone. Some of the links are pretty interesting too” (university administrator).

“Congratulations on your web site, the fruit of much travail, thought and work. Links are precious endorsements – I am glad that you are now using your professional experience to help others via the web – I wish your web site and your work altogether all the very best” (Emeritus Professor).

“Thanks for the info I've printed it out and will read it at a two day PD on Mental Health so your timing is great” (social worker).

“Your website looks great. It's simple and easy to read. Also very profound work that you're doing” (physiotherapist).

“Thank you for the website. Looks great. Very informative” (Australian Association of Social Workers AASW).

“I am not familiar with COPMI as a particular theory or method, but am familiar with mental illness, trauma, and adult survivors. At a glance some of the material makes sense. I think it has some relevant material generally for the benefit of all traumatized people, and more specifically for those who relate to COPMI. From the professional perspective, it is grounded in theory / research (either already existing or your own future Masters/PhD thesis). In any case, it offers some very supportive information, whoever the audience” (social worker and student counsellor).

“Well done for getting something so substantial together” (teacher).

"I just browsed your website. Looks like it contains some VERY interesting guides and lots of information. It will take a lot of time to go through it all. P.S. I do like how it is organized" (Emeritus Professor, New York).

“Very useful indeed. I was particularly interested in the tasks. I have been involved in grief and loss counselling in UK quite a while ago and at that time we were using Worden's Tasks of grieving” (researcher).

“I think your website is great. The information is presented so that a person without a psychological background (a possible client) can understand it. It speaks just as well to a person who does know their psychology. I found it very interesting. There are no wasted words or sentences and no unnecessary sales pitch. It's to the point with a lot of info packed into each sentence I like the simplicity of it” (consumer).

"Congratulations on the website, it looks very good and is easily accessible. I forwarded the website information to my colleagues" (Researcher/Mental Health).

“Hi Suzette, I'm honoured you would ask my advice. I've not considered such a thing and I see it's an important area that I can imagine is poorly addressed. For this reason, it's a little mysterious, although it's certainly inviting. I realise you have to keep it general enough to allow for everyone's situation” (international performer and professional musician).

"This is a great site Suzette, congratulations. However the COPMI I work with are young children, generally primary school aged or even younger! I have passed this website on to the 'older' COMPI, sometimes now the parent of COPMI" (Child and Adolescent Counsellor).

"I got your website from the COMIC listserv... I'm a psychologist in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (USA). I enjoyed reading your site, Surviving Parents with Mental Illness, and wanted to connect with you given your shared commitment to COPMI issues. Given your obvious interest in mental illness & the family, I wanted to let you know our mission of our work is to empower families who are dealing with mental illness & trauma from specific to combat, many military organizations:

* Providing essential information

* Normalizing a variety of reactions

* Encouraging open communication

* Supporting healthy coping

* Offering comfort and hope

Yes, fun to connect w/ folks all around the globe who share passion for COPMI! Thank you!” (Clinical Associate Professor).

“There's obviously a lot of work gone into this - it appears to cover a lot. It’s useful that you summarised the tasks at the start and had them as quick links like a table of contents that you can click on and it takes you straight to the point rather than you having to scroll down to it therefore I’m encouraged to read on as summary of the contents catches interest. Anything that breaks up text and makes it easier to read on screen is good. I've forwarded your email on to a healing centre for whom the link could be relevant. As I said, you've obviously put a lot of work into it” (scientist).

“Your website made me think about key words to do with Holocaust survivors, e.g. survivor and writing down thoughts” (poet and editor).

"Hi Suzette, I've just looked at your website which moved me to tears in some areas that affirmed me and my reactions to the experience of growing up with a parent with mental health issues. Best wishes and congratulations on such a massive undertaking. I'm sure it will help many people, not only COPMI" (Mental Health social worker).

"I imagine that people who have grown up with a parent who had a mental illness will welcome your contribution in preparing a website" (Australian author and family therapist).

“I have looked at your webpages and they have clean, uncluttered look. For a text based page it has short paragraphs and points with clearly labeled headings so that people can quickly peruse the information and read what they need succinctly. No superfluous and distracting information. This is great to create unifying and quickly identifiable webpages. As individual pages, they work extremely well. I googled your name and also found a link to your Clinical Practice Guidelines page in the AASW website” (school librarian).

“Congratulations Suzette. Thank you for including me in this circular. I am impressed by what you have to say and how you have said it. Best wishes for your career” (researcher).

“It's a good website you've developed, with lots of valuable info for people with these backgrounds. Good on you! I hope people in need find their way to this website. I'll have to do a Google search and see if it comes up with relevant key words” (counsellor).

“Our work here involves very little contact with COPMI, rather it deals with young people, many under 18 years with emerging or early mental health issues. I’m aware of some of our young people having a parent with a mental illness; however it’s not a large number to my knowledge. I guess there would also be circumstances when our clinicians may not even be aware of it. My clinical experiences have never emphasized or specifically offered me opportunities to work with this population. There’s no doubt that you have put a lot of thought and effort into this website. I imagine that there can be a wide range of experiences for COPMI and this may influence the impact on them as individuals. It seems to me that you have tried to think of as many/all possible experiences, with an emphasis of particularly supporting those most negatively affected, traumatised and struggling. I think it is great that you have that clause at the beginning saying something about the aim of this information is not intended to replace professional help and that you encourage people to get some. Because I would imagine that if someone was feeling the impact and intensity of some of those feelings that you describe then appropriate professional support would be recommended and hopefully beneficial. I can let our two case managers know of your website” (senior nurse and educator).

“Thanks for sending your impressive website to me” (computer technician).

“I've sent a copy to our Professor” (university lecturer).

“I have had a look at the website and the information is certainly relevant to our target group. The information is also interesting and easy to read. Staff deal mainly with children, but do speak with parents regularly, however unless a parent discloses this information voluntarily (i.e. that they had a parent with a mental illness) then we would not necessarily discuss this issue. Thank you for your information, how true, that of course people are not necessarily going to recognise (1) that a parent may have had some issues, and (2) that it impacted on them at all... It makes perfect sense. As for our role, it is a state-wide program, and over the year, we do health assessments. It is great to be aware of the website so we can mention it to the target group. Thanks. I will forward this website to my manager and other colleagues” (senior nurse).

“I have read your website and it sounds very well written and constructive. I have no professional experience with mental health so have read it as a lay person” (parent).

“Your website looks great. Lots of stuff in it. It’s really good. I liked the special warning. Pretty good. I’m sure it’s going to inform lots of people in many ways” (university student).

“Thank you for your website, I have forwarded it on to our General Manager” (secretary). “Well done. I did not realise that this was a special interest of yours Suzette. Do you have links with COPMI writer/researcher Vicki Cowling in Newcastle? She would be a terrific like minded colleague for you (senior mental health clinician).

“A very worthwhile contribution! (senior ABC journalist).

“Well done Suzette. Important work you are doing” (professional musician and psychologist).

“Had a look at your website, I especially liked the tips (good for anyone, really!)” (social worker).

Hi, I just stumbled upon your website after my therapist suggested I do some research on others who have had mentally ill parents. Thank you for compiling so much information for people like me. I really enjoyed reading the tips and have saved the site to my favorites so I can re-read items when I need to. I have also forwarded the site to my best friend, who has a mentally ill father. Thanks again. I truly mean it (Decatur, GA, USA).

"Hi Suzette: regarding your website: a lot of it contains information for almost anyone growing up in a dysfunctional family. Although I've been going to therapy over the years, I still have my "demons" and have trouble with raising my child by myself, and dealing with the stress I think the crux of my problems is my childhood, I still have anger and resentment toward my parents and family...and a lot was gong on with family. I have made bad choices, and have trouble trusting anyone, I put myself in danger and my child, too. I have trouble with boundaries and I have trouble with reacting to "triggers". I am aware of it at times. More so now with the help and support I get. So your website really hit home...I was surprised, because it is just what I'm going through now. I am sure it can help a lot of people" (Specialist Educator, Canada).

"A quick look at your website impresses me with its style and organization, and I wish you the best of success with it!" (Poet, Author, and Professor of Psychology, USA).

I've had a look at your website. Very professional! Well done. (Physiotherapist in private practice).

“I checked your website, great and very needed work. I hope you have time to keep it going!” (Doctor/Educator for general practitioners and psychiatrists).

“I like your website. Personally, I think it's a very useful site. In reading it I became aware that I had actually had survivor guilt (I hadn't realised that before), which is why I both felt like and was told I was "different" when I was growing up, and still frequently feel like an outsider in my family - a fact that has long since ceased to bother me. It probably also explains the excessive independence I've had to battle all my life - although thankfully it seems to be under control these days. I'm certainly forwarding the web address on to a number of my contacts” (Psychologist).

Just opened your website. It's got great information, and I'm glad it's clean and plain to look at (Technical writer and poet).

I looked at the website. You Rock! (Music Teacher and Counsellor).

“I disregarded the warning on your website for under 18's to not read on (I'm still 16), and found it very interesting” (Theology Student).

“I was in awe when I read your website. It is absolutely brilliant. It’s about time somebody dealt with this and you have done it so sensitively. I read it from both perspectives both as a parent with a mental illness and as a child of a parent with a mental illness. I am now in my 60’s and I found it so useful. I wonder had I not had those experiences would I have done well. I am therefore educated by my lived experience. Reading your website made me so happy and I felt so at peace realising that now I have permission to grieve. I can’t believe your website… it’s a dream come true! It gives just so much. You have got it! (phone call from an adult child who had a parent with a mental illness).

"Just been on your website. It is not often one sees something that is so clearly written about parents with a mental illness so sensitively spoken about. My twin sister and I run an organisation that is raising awareness about the needs of children of parents who have a parent with a mental illness and their parents by all sorts of ways possible. We do this out of our own personal experience and draw on this to inform us and bring ourselves up to date with new parents and childrens' experiences also.

It is my firm belief that no matter what year one was born in, that feelings a child experiences will be the same, and as a result of those feelings as an adult as you have so aptly put it “On Matters of the Heart” will also have feelings according to various factors. There has been little recognition of the long term impact and intergenerational transmission of mental illness in a family. In our family our mother developed mental illness when she was sixteen and then had us she was mostly catatonic most of our lives. We both developed mental illness and my son developed mental illness. No help was available to my mother with her children back in the 1940’s and no help was offered to me with my children in 1980 or my sister in 1970. How can one explain we got man on the moon in 1969 and we still had no help for parents living with mental illness and their children?

Your website will help so many people: Professionals, parents, and sons and daughters of parents who have a mental illness. I thank you so much for this gift to us all as I have come to understand that I am not so much depressed but grieving the loss of a lot of things I did not understand or know about until I entered your special website. I will give your web address to the OT (Occupational Therapy) students I am lecturing to tomorrow about this very topic it will be a great resource for them. You are an angel (Western Australia, Children of Mentally Ill Consumers - COMIC).

Thank you Suzette - I'm overwhelmed by your good work and look forward to exploring it. All the links work well. I really liked it when you said [at last week's General Practice Network] that 'silence' was a valid way of working through grief. I wondered if you were a Quaker. It sounded refreshingly wise. Thanks again" (General Practitioner).

Thank you, Suzette. These pages are very impressive. (Researcher/Academic).

I have looked at your website, i didn't realise that growing up with a parent who has a mental illness could be so traumatic. I'm interested in why this is so. A web site such as yours must go a long way to help the needs of COPMI. because as with most issues, education is a significant strategy to develop awareness of what constitutes the 'illness' and can then, improve 'support' for the individual.

(Research Academic Discipline of General Practice

Choose a topic - then just click on title below:

• • Surviving Parents With Mental Illness

  • Tasks

  • Grief & Loss

  • Trauma

  • Useful Websites

  • Tips

  • References