We'll leave Bernard by the mailbox. He needs the fresh air; we need the stamps off the package.
We'll just explore the rest of the first floor here...
Wait, who the hell puts a key up on a chandelier in their living room? How does that even make sense!?
Oh, and don't forget to save the game. Because if you accidentally kill off one of the kids, get stuck, or blow up the house... You will be very, very sad.
So at the end of this room, we run into a dark room that turns out to be... A library. Trendy.
Also, this staircase is out of order? It looks pretty sturdy to me. Failure. Cursed red herrings.
Hey guys, it's Chuck The Plant!
[Editor's note: Lucas Arts games fans should pay attention, as he crops up in all sorts of games, such as Day of the Tentacle and most recently in Ron Gilbert's The Cave.]
That's right, open that loose panel and get a cassette tape. It actually has quite a few uses (such as picking up the key on the chandelier we saw earlier) but I'm not sure what we're going to do with this on this playthrough quite yet.
Since we reached the end of the lower right wing of the house, let's head upstairs.
In the room to the left we have a sorry excuse for an art studio. Truth be told, I always thought the thing in the center of the room was some sort of weirdo toilet instead of an easel.
At any rate, grab the bowl of wax fruit from the stand and the bucket of paint remover from the floor... and avoid the dried purple slime and paint brush...
And in the room to the right we have... A piano, a Victrola, a cassette recorder, and a television. I feel bad for the poor bastard that had to haul that piano up here. But, let us watch some TV.
Don't forget the stamp! That's... Oddly specific, don't you think?
I guess I'll play me some piano to pass the time. Turns out that Razor is quite good at it.
And through the big steel security door, we find ourselves in another hallway. Let's see what's behind door number one.
Wow, it's another dark room. And the light switch is proving notoriously hard to find.
True story, when they submitted this game for approval by Nintendo, the phrase "getting your pretty brains sucked out" was deemed inappropriate -- so "sucked out" was replaced by the phrase "removed".
Also, I'd like to note that "within minutes" is like DBZ-style minutes. Hours could pass with nothing happening but filler at this point.
Ah yes, the easily corrupted scientist. He's just misunderstood, really.
Also, this game may contain the most references to the word "Slime" ever (at least this side of those 80's & 90's Nickelodeon shows like Double Dare).
Wow, first time I ever saw THAT phrase used in a game. Pretty good for the late 80s.
The fact that Dave is actually on the other side of that door right now is hilarious to me.
Now that we're back, and have finally found the light switch we're in this... Room. Obviously Dr. Fred's office of sorts, and sadly the table and the cabinet don't seem to have any uses (or in the case of the latter, there appears to be no way to unlock it).
However, on the subject of this manuscript... Meteors with arms and fingers to use a pen or a typewriter? BIZZARRO...
Wow, a game room, how nice. The power to the games seems to be bad since it won't let me play them (and that is an aside from not having any money to put in the coin slot). Though the only reason the air hockey table is broken appears to be that they obviously broke the legs off of it!
What, you don't care that I snuck into the house, you're just hungry? Green tentacle is terrible security.
Though I am confused about why he has taken up standing in the middle of this particular room and only letting people pass for food. Are break ins a common occurrence in this house? Is he too lazy to go to the fridge!?
Some old batteries, lettuce, cheese, broken ketchup bottles, a can of pepsi (product placement, lol), purple stuff... Hey man, Sunny D, alright!
Seriously though, grab the can of pepsi, for it is a very important item that we will need.
Time to check out the rest of this wing of the house. And it looks like we'll start with the... Dining room.
Uh-oh, a hungry militant! We better raid the fridge first.
So, let's grab the Cheese, just to troll old Weird Ed and his hamster here, and return to the dining room.
I appreciate the very selectable nature of events in this game, where if the cheese is there, he takes it for himself and his hamster.
But enjoy the cheese-less misery, weirdo.
And at the end of this hallway we run into... A mud room for a back door? Classy, definitely. Also their dry goods storage, too.
Oh wow, Tentacle Chow. It's like Scooby Snacks, only not some form of copyright or trademark infringement!
So what else do we have here... Fruit drinks? Not bad... A glass jar, nice... And... Hey, I should grab this glass bottle of developer, it'll be safe to handle. What could possibly go wrong!?
Imagine if not every character was a butterfingers when it came to the bottle of developer... Like, maybe make it something that would make Jeff useful at all. Oh well, it looks like it went through some grating in the floor... No matter, it is useless to our character trio anyway.