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In November of 2008 a challenge was issued to try and write one in-persona "journal entry" a day for a month as part of "Known World Persona Writing Month". While I feel I've had a good, fleshed-out persona for Vairavi for a few years now, even the first day of writing ended up being a pretty big challenge just finding out what units of time V would be using. Since there's no in-period examples of personal journals from India I made much of it up on-the-fly, trying to keep within the mode of some of the European journals from the medieval era. Although I only made it through 19 days of writing, it was a fantastic exercise and gave me a good opportunity to not only use some trivial bits of knowledge I've acquired but to also look in to other aspects of life in a medieval South Indian court that I hadn't had a reason to explore previously.
Day One
20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandyan, long may the sun shine on his banner.
Spent much of the day in my rooms, feeling unwell. The king wishes another poem written in his honor but I find myself without words. Kanavati came by for a time and we played word-games to try and inspire me, but it did not help much. I think tomorrow I will try and arrange a small picnic with some of the other courtiers so we may get out of the palace and perhaps find ourselves renewed.
Day Two
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandyan, who conquered all countries
Took advantage of clear weather to travel a short ways along the river to a pleasant spot for our picnic. We were blessed with the presence of the King's mistress and her son Vira, whom I shall begin tutoring soon. While they set out the food a large snake chose the time to visit our gathering and although many of us were alarmed by it, one of the servants assured us that it was harmless, and not cettinakam or some other dangerous type, and promptly removed it from our midst with sticks. The incident did provide some small inspiration, and I was able to write a few ati that I will try and develop in to a longer work.
O Foreign King, swift like the rat you may travel
Could not escape our bright weapons or warriors
O Serpent King, let the coils of your glory unravel
Your shining scales blind him!
It's your dagger-sharp bite that will be his end
Day Three
On the festival day of Skandasashti, in the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandyan
It has been very quiet here today. In the past week many of courtiers and members of the Royal House have left Nelveli, off to Centil for the culmination of Skanda Sashti that occurs today. Today even the ones who stayed behind are at the smaller shrine that is nearer to us. I can see the dark clouds of the monsoon gathering, but as yet they have done nothing but set a hush over the gardens and left the light dim.
Even as the lone Lokayatika in the palace, I am not entirely alone on this day. Although I do not think it would suit any of us to take a meal together, I did spend a small amount of time with the small group of Jainas and bhadanta playing idle games and engaging in friendly debate.
Still, I am a bit lonely, and I might have liked to go to Centil and have seen my sister at the temple there. She would be busy with festival preparations though, and I find it unlikely I would be welcome at my father's house anymore.
Although I do not miss the ritual lies of the buffoon Brahmins, I do sometimes miss the spectacle and color of the festival days. I suppose there is a small piece of my heart that still loves the young peacock god, and misses him with a mix of emotion on his festival day, as one might miss the sweet voice of a lover who failed at intimacy, or the smell of a father who proved unwilling to listen.
I hear the first hiss of rain at the window.
Day Four
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya, long may the jasmine-white umbrella shade his head!
It was a good day for grooming. None have returned from the Skandasashti festivities yet, and many of the palace servants are quite idle. Had my hair trimmed as well as the usual oiling, and an enjoyable bath of perfumed oil well-rubbed and then powdered off. Although there was none to see, I had my finest jewels brought, my hands and feet painted with lac, and dressed in one of my favorite silken garments before spending some time walking the corridors of the palace. The rains are coming down in earnest now and it brings a unique noise, drowning out human voices and somehow calming the mind.
The rains have also had the uniquely pleasant effect of silencing the parrots kept by some of the King's women. I am quite enjoying my solitude today.
Day Five
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya, of the un-bent staff
Was delighted to start tutoring young Vira today, and he is a very clever pupil. I begin to believe the gossips that say he is a son favored even over the King's legitimate children. He defended the Vedas quite vigorously which is to be expected, with his arguments being the typical Brahmana nonsense, yet applied in thoughtful ways relevant to the questions I posed him. I do not think I will be making a carvaka of him but I am aware that is not the purpose for which I am kept. As long as I am able to foster a seed of caution in him to be wary in his dealings with the priests our King shall be pleased.
More have returned to the palace today, and there was a sizable gathering for the evening meal. One of the younger of Kulasekhara's women had never been to Centil before, and I forced her to tell me all she could. I did not tell her it was my home until after she had run out of words. It was simply too enjoyable to hear the temple, the sand, the streets, the sea, and the festival described by someone who did not grow up with it.
I wish I had thought to ask for something to be brought back for me. A handful of sand or a pearl or a shell. But it is the sound and the smell I miss the most, and there is no way to capture those.
Day Six
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
My King is gracious and good, and I have been remiss in writing his praises in to poetry. I believe he may have seen me looking wistful when hearing tales of Centil yesterday. Today he paid me a long and very friendly visit and presented me with several pearl bangles acquired there. He was also much interested in knowing my thoughts on young Vira, and spoke much of the boy's accomplishments as we took a small meal together in my chambers.
I am much flattered that the King cares so much for my company. He is more often at the palace in Madurai and I would think his hours here would be better spent with his councilors. As well I should be careful he does not look on me too favorably, as I believe even the least of his women could make things difficult for me here if she felt threatened.
Day Seven
In the 20th year of Kulasekhara Pandya's reign
Spent some time today arranging to have one of the palace servants purchase some items from the market for me. Have decided that the King's next poem shall be presented in the finest fashion to him, completely crafted by my hand. Planned and experimented with a few ideas before the evening meal.
The confinement of the rains has put everyone in a mood that is only dispelled with a great deal of merriment, and such we had with our feast this evening. Musicians set a lively scene, and those of us non-Brahmans present took much toddy and wine and exchanged stories and poems and songs. Eventually those of the women who could dance did, and I ended up doing a truncated but still humorous version of the story of Prince Payasi and Master Kassapa with an alternate ending. I was somewhat worried that it would offend the devout but either the wine or my humor was good enough that they took it as satire.
I am feeling quite warm from the wine and I can hear the festivities continuing without me. I would like to return but here comes a servant to tell me I have a visitor.
Day Eight
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
I mind myself with everything and nothing to say about the end of last night, so instead I shall tell you that I spent much of a day in the poor mood that typically follows a night of revelry. Not the effects of wine, I think, as much as a disappointment that the delights have ended. The rains and the greyness do not help such moods, and I had no desire to engage in any productive pursuit. I did read for a short while and spent some time thinking on a poem, but did no writing.
I took my meal alone in my rooms.
Days Nine, Ten, Eleven
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
The past three days have been absorbed by the tedium of travel. It was with rather little preparation that a vast majority of the Court found themselves setting out for Madurai. Word has come of a large party of travelers come from the Khan of the Mongols. From what I understand they travel to the land of the Persians, and there are white airoppiyan with them. For this the King has said he shall welcome them in Madurai at the finest of his palaces and with a great display.
I have not been to Madurai before, and am told that it will be at least another five days before I see it. While I do not mind the walking, and am enjoying seeing new towns, my feet have begun to hurt.
See how the village girl has grown out of her callused feet,
now tender as fresh mangoes
Even the fallen stalk of rice in the road
is a knife to such thin flesh
Day Twelve
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya, somewhere outside Kazhugumalai
We have had no rains since we began our journey, and for this I am glad. Today we rest near Vattuvan Koil, an unfinished temple from many centuries past. It is quite a sad but beautiful place. Fortunately there are also several natural pools nearby, as many of us had a great desire to bathe and soothe our feet in cool water.
I did have a brief respite from walking today, as Prince Vira (with the acquiescence of his mother) thought it would be quite humorous to have me ride a-horse with him. I had never ridden before, and I do not think I will do so again. Being sore of foot is much preferable to being sore in other areas, not to mention the teasing from the other women who find the idea of women on horseback quite amusing. I cannot say I completely disagree with them. It seems that riding an elephant would be much more pleasurable, and provide one with a suitable sitting place.
Days Thirteen through Sixteen
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
Have finally reached Madurai. The city is as amazing as I have heard, but the travel has been hard and it is difficult to find enthusiasm. The rains started again two days ago as we were outside Sivakasi and added much to the general misery of walking.
So it was with great relief that I was shown my new quarters and given clean, dry garments and much attention from adept servants who have been most eager to know my pleasures. The palace here is as breathtaking as I would expect, and I look forward to seeing as much of it as I can while I am here.
Tomorrow is the grand feast in honor of our foreign guests, and I am much looking forward to seeing what sort of people they are.
Day Seventeen
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
After a good sleep I was able to venture from the palace with a few of the other women and see a small part of the city. Much fuss was made over the merchants, but I was eager to see the temple, where the great poets are said to have gathered at the edges of the tank. Kanavati did talk me in to purchasing a small flask of perfume for myself that we agreed suited me quite well, and while the other women were fawning over the silks I purchased a very modest cotton dhoti for myself that has a pattern of lotuses. I was only able to see the temple from a distance as we wasted much time with the merchants and Kanavati decided it would be humorous to tease me mercilessly about wanting the see the temple of a god I do not believe in.
In the evening all of us women attended the Mongol princess for the meal, so I did not see the airoppiyans. The princess is very strange looking, with a flat, pale face that lacks expression, and she did not speak much even with her attendants who know her language. I do not think the Persian khan will be much pleased with this wife. I have heard that she has lost much of her retinue to the sickness of travel, so perhaps it is lack of attention that has made her sullen. One of the women did dance a story of Shiva and Parvati for her, and this seemed to make her smile, at least a little. It was not the festive air we are used to, and the princess and her retinue seem very dull indeed.
I have asked Kanavati and several of the others to join me for wine later so we may have at least a little fun. The wine here is very good and quite strong as well.
Day Eighteen
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara Pandya
A performance was held today in honor of our foreign guests. It was at this that I was finally able to see the airoppiyans. I am told they are brothers, and to my eye it is hard to tell them from the Mongols they travel with, as they wear the same clothing and have only slightly different color to their faces. I thought I heard another courtier say that they were from Varanasi, but surely that is wrong and it is simply a place that sounds much like Varanasi.
I think many of us did not give the performance full attention, fascinated as we all were with the strangers among us. What I did notice of the dancing seemed quite adequate, and the musicians were quite as good as one would expect for the presence of royalty.
Following that I took to my rooms and spent time writing and thinking. I have also made a friend of an artisan, a painter, and for a time he visited with me and we decided to dine together.
Day Nineteen
In the 20th year of the reign of Maravarman Kulasekhara, King of all Pandyamandalam
A long day and most tiring. It has been decided that Prince Vira has had enough rest from his travels and his lessons began again quite early. We spent a good time talking on philosophy and then I began showing him the forms of poetry. I cannot say he has a talent for it, nor that he is eager to learn, but I may have ways of helping him find it interesting.
Later my artist friend visited and it was my turn to be the student. He brought palm leaf and ink and showed me the ways of drawing some decorative patterns. It was very enjoyable and we spent many hours at this activity. I enjoy his company very much and we plan to meet tomorrow.
A feast was yet again held for the Mongol princess, and I am frankly quite tired of the plain company of her entourage. If even one of them spoke our language I think it would go much easier on us all. As it is we eat with hushed voices and try to not too obviously stare at our visitors. It is much the same for them, I imagine.
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