Category: Humour (I hope) Challenge Response
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Hathor, Holiday Legacy, but not really
Notes: This is set after my story Greencard but it's not a sequel, just a distraction.
FYI., Toni is my original character, Doctor Antonia Richards, a British Archaeologist.
Challenge three on the 6dstargate mailing list
Set by Denys the purple wyrm
A member of SG1 must have a part time job outside the SGC
A character, possibly one of the major characters, but also possibly one of the bit players who appear in one episode then are never seen again, lets face it that's far more interesting don't you think, must perform a musical number. This can be by any artist except for Tom Jones :)
Teal'c must display an interest and/or talent in one of the following areas
Ballet
Gymnastics
Taxidermy
Macramé
Arson
There must be a minor (no more than one paragraph) crossover with one of the following shows
The Drew Carey Show
Seven Days
ER
Jonathon Creek
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Are You Being Served
Extra points if this crossover is obscure it has to pointed out to fellow viewers of the show in question. Anyone unfamiliar with all of the above shows may substitute Seinfeld. Everyone must have seen that at some point. It's a last resort though I don't want Kramer popping up in every story :)
Someone must call out, in these exact words "Phonecall for Mr Horrible!"
And finally, no X-Files references!
Daniel Jackson had hoped for a peaceful morning to get on with his work, but Jack O'Neill turning up on his doorstep disturbed him.
"Hey Daniel, how was the honeymoon?" Jack asked as they went into the living room.
"It was great, we got to help out on this new site they've uncovered near Giza, and there was the most fascinating stuff…."
Jack stopped him with a raised finger, "For crying out loud, it was a honeymoon, not a field trip. Didn't you guys, you know…do all the usual stuff?
"Oh yeah!" Daniel grinned broadly.
Jack glanced round the room, "So where is the lovely Mrs Jackson ?" he asked.
"Ah, I don't think Toni's gonna be using my name."
"Good idea I suppose two Doctor Jacksons at the SGC could get a bit confusing."
"Anyway she's back on duty, apparently SG6 surveyed a planet while we away that has a lot of Roman style architecture, and as that' s Toni's field she wanted to go along. We've got his theory about…"
"Hey, I don't want you to spoil the story I'll wait till I read her report."
"When was the last time you read a cultural report?"
"I'm offended! I always read them," he hesitated then admitted the truth, "well okay, I read that summary page."
Daniel attempted to put together a sharp putdown but all that came out was an indignant "What!"
"Let's face it Dannyboy, you do use a lot of long words, Toni's no better. I reckon Doc. Frasier ought to recommend one of Robert's as an insomnia cure, always sends me off."
Secretly Daniel agreed with the last part, but he kept quiet not wanting to be disloyal to his colleague. Instead he smiled apologetically at Jack and changed the subject. "Would you like a drink ?"
"Coffee thanks."
Daniel headed for the kitchen.
Jack took the opportunity to have a nose around and spotted something very unusual on Daniel's desk.
"What's going on Daniel?" Jack asked him as he came back with the coffee.
" Nothing Jack." He tried to hide the papers away in his desk drawer but Jack's lightening reflexes were too quick for him.
" These are term papers, from the University, and you're grading them."
" Um yes." A red flush crept up his cheeks.
" Daniel don't you have enough work to do without taking a part-time job as well?"
" It's kinda fun actually." He smiled.
" You call that fun," Jack shook his head, "you really need to get out more."
"Well to be honest I need the money, things have been a bit expensive lately what with the wedding and everything. I'd only just paid off that credit card bill Machello landed me with when…"
Jack interrupted, "I thought the SGC were taking care of that."
" Yeah I thought so, I filled in all those claim forms in triplicate, took them up to the third floor personally, nothing, nada, zip. I couldn't exactly go to the Credit Card Company and say, Hey, it wasn't me 'cause I wasn't actually in my body at the time."
"Kinda tough that one huh?"
Once again, Daniel changed the subject, " Anyway you wanna see the Wedding photos?"
"That'll be why I'm here."
Daniel went off to find them, when he returned he found Jack studying an object in the corner of the living room.
"What's that?" Jack asked.
"It's a plant." Daniel replied, giving him an are you stupid or what look.
"I know that, " Jack emphasised, "what's it hanging in?"
"Oh, it's a macramé pot holder, it was a wedding present from Teal'c, he made it."
Jack regarded the string and bead creation with new interest, "He did?"
"Oh yes," Daniel went over to the dresser and pulled out some delicate crocheted lacy material, "These too."
"What are they?"
"Antimacassars."
"What? Is that some sort of Jaffa thing?"
"No they go on the couch, to protect the fabric, Toni said her granny used to have them."
"Ah, yeah mine too, we just called them arm covers."
"Apparently he's knitting booties for the Harsesis child if we ever find him."
"Wow, that guy never ceases to amaze me with his talents."
They started to look through the photos.
"You can hardly notice Coburn's black eye." Jack pointed out in the group shot.
"Bit of digital retouching I think."
"Man your stag night was certainly a wild party. I wasn't sure at first about having a joint one with the girls, as best man it was my responsibility to make sure you had a good time and I thought they would slow us down a bit. The Karoke was Ferretti's idea, not that he can sing but Janet really put some feeling into 'I will survive'. It was all going so well before all hell broke loose. You never did explain exactly what happened."
"Well it was when you and Sam were performing "You're the one I want." Why did you choose that song by the way?"
"Well ever since I saw her alternate reality version with long hair I've been thinking Olivia Newton-John. So it was kinda obvious for me anyway."
"Really I was thinking Georgia from Ally Mcbeal."
Jack though for moment considering this, "Yeah, that works."
"Anyway you know that redheaded nurse, the one that got transferred to Mental Health?"
Jack nodded.
"Well she's been sleeping with Coburn."
"No, he's a sly old dog, always the quiet ones huh? But I thought she was married."
"Oh yes, apparently it all goes back to that trouble with Hathor; she used her charms to distract him while Sam slugged him out. Been after him ever since. Well we were all watching you and Sam when in comes this guy shouting "Phonecall for Mr Horrible." We all look round and it's her husband. He walks up to Coburn and says that's means you, you bastard and punches him."
"I thought it was just my singing that caused the riot."
"I don't think John Travolta's got anything to worry about, but I thought Sam looked good in the leather trousers."
"Daniel you're a married man!"
"Don't say you didn't notice."
"Sam is just a colleague, you know that. " Jack pointed out a face in the photos, "I kinda liked that redheaded cousin of Toni's. Is she planning to visit?"
"Actually Jack she's works in Chicago."
"Sweet, I think it's about time I paid a visit to my folks."
©Katana