Category: Romance/angst
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Season Four, The First Ones, The Light,
Continuing the story of Daniel and Antonia from It never Rains...it Pours... Antonia joins the SGC...
This story is dedicated to my SG5, my friends in the Yahoogroups list.
Also a big hug and thank you to my son David, the light of my life.
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same." ~Unknown~
Daniel Jackson left General Hammond's office with a spring in his step, he was getting a new member of his team, nothing unusual in that, expect this time it was actually someone he had chosen personally; someone he was looking forward to sharing the wonders of the Stargate with. Antonia Richards a fellow archaeologist, she had successfully passed all the security checks and accepted the position; she should be arriving from England within the week.
She was exactly the right kind of expert they needed, since Robert Rothman's death, Daniel had been a little frustrated by some of this team. Nyan was keen and enthusiastic but he was still learning the Ancient history of the planet of his Ancestors.
There was another reason he was looking forward to seeing Antonia again, one he tried to deny, she was a very attractive woman, and he'd thought of her dark hair, hazel eyes and warm smile many times.
They had first met in LA, though it was not a meeting he had recalled until later. She had attended the disastrous lecture he gave; though without it he would never have meet Kathryn. They met again at Robert's memorial service a few months ago. Somehow comforting her grief for their mutual friend had helped him with his own. He had offered her Robert's job, but she was to flying off to Peru.
On her return she had emailed Daniel, at the end of recount of her adventures was the question that he had hoped for, "is the job still open?"
***********
Cheyenne Mountain, the home of NORAD, just outside of Colorado Springs, Doctor Antonia Richards had read all the literature supplied by the US Air Force. However, she was still none the wiser as to why she was going to be working there with Daniel. All she knew was that the project was top secret.
The Airman at the entrance to the complex checked her pass very thoroughly and then spoke into a phone for a few moments.
"The Major will be with you in a few minutes ma'am."
"Thank you."
The Major in question was Major Davis; he smiled kindly at Antonia, as he exited from the elevator.
"Doctor Richards welcome to the SGC, " He greeted her, "I'm sorry General Hammond isn't here at the moment to meet you he's on leave." The handshake was brief but firm.
Antonia nearly didn't recognise Davis as the same man she had met back in Mexico. The laughter lines around his eyes were accentuated as he beamed at her, those eyes were a warm brown, twinkling with a smile not pressing the hard dark look he given her outside the Mayan temple.
This had been another link to Daniel a mysterious sarcophagus, two of the team had died and the artefact had been whisked away by Davis and the Air Force. Later she learned that it been destroyed but no further clues as to why.
Davis indicated that she follow him to the elevator, they descended then changed to another one; as they entered he selected the button marked 28. During the journey, he chatted to her, small talk about the time he had spent based in England during the Gulf war and some of the places he had visited. They exited the elevator and walked along a corridor bustling with personnel, many dressed in Air Force casual fatigues. He led her through a windowless room with a large centre table, some kind of briefing or conference room she guessed to an office. He sat in the large leather chair behind the desk and motioned her to sit opposite.
"Doctor Jackson, will join us shortly, " he explained, "but first there are a few formalities."
"OK" she nodded, expecting something like this after what Daniel had told her.
He handed her a folder; "Please read through and sign these papers."
She nodded again and took the folder.
"Would you like a coffee? " Davis offered.
"Yes thank you."
Davis poured two coffees, while she studied the documents.
Antonia read through and signed the documents it was more or less, what she had expected; everything she saw or heard in the facility was Top Secret, not to be disclosed. As she finished the forms, Daniel arrived. She was a little surprised to see that he wore the same blue uniform that she had seen around the base. A patch on his right arm had the legend SG-1; the opposite arm had an unfamiliar symbol a triangle with a small circle above it.
Daniel smiled warmly and offered her his hand, "Toni, Welcome to the SGC."
"Thank you." She replied, accepting the handshake.
"Everything in order sir? " he asked Davis
"Yes thank you Doctor Jackson, why don't you give Doctor Richards the grand tour?" He smiled wryly, "I'm sure there are a few things she will find interesting."
Daniel was close to laughter with his reply, "Oh I'm sure she will "
***********
Back through the corridors Antonia followed Daniel until they reached a large office, the shelves were full of books and various artefacts that she itched to get her hands on. Two monitors blinked away with a dancing pattern of hieroglyphics.
He cleared a chair for her by moving a pile of folders and books and perched on the edge of a desk.
"Toni, there is a lot I have to tell you, I'm gonna give you the basics, because I think you will find a lot of it very hard to take in all at once."
She nodded, a slight anticipation building, this was it the big secret, hadn't he said at the airport that Robert had had his adventure. It was that belief that had brought her here.
Daniel glanced quickly at his watch and then began his story, a story that had begun on the Giza plateau in 1928.
Antonia listened, eyes wide, occasionally Daniel had a picture or a file to show her to back up what he said. Part of her accepted it; finally, it gave the explanation for some of the more off beat theories like Daniel's own, yet part of her thought it was science fiction fantasy.
A Stargate, a portal to other planets, a way to travel across the galaxy almost instantaneously, a parasitic race that ruled many of these worlds, other races, more advanced, others still stuck in the ancient past. Worlds that had all been seeded through this transport device, millennia ago.
She had a hundred, maybe a thousand questions but before she could ask, Daniel checked his watch again then jumped up.
"Come on you can see it for yourself, SG-5 are due to leave on a mission about now, you can see the gate in action."
***********
Daniel led Antonia back along the maze of corridors, then up a short flight of steps to a control room. Banks of monitors blinked away manned by Air Force Technicians, though the window she got her first glimpse of the Stargate. She had seen the pictures, heard Daniel's stories but it was hard to believe that ring did the things he said it did.
In the vast room below, the gateroom, stood a group of four Airmen, dressed in full camouflage gear, SG-5 patches on their sleeves. They waited at the bottom of the metal ramp that ran up and through the gate with a small vehicle loaded with equipment
There was a burst of activity in the control room alarms sounded; the glyph-covered ring on the gate began to spin up, it stopped and one of the chevrons locked and lit. The be-spectacled technician announced this; then the process began again until the count reached seven. The gate burst into life; Antonia felt like taking a step backwards as a huge rush of energy burst forth but stopped short of the base of the ramp. A glistening water like puddle had formed inside the ring.
The vehicle began to move up the ramp, guided by one of SG-5, using a hand held remote. The other three men walked up the ramp by the side of it; within a few seconds they had all entered the ring and disappeared. A control was activated and the gate shut down, leaving Antonia staring a little bemused at the blank wall behind it. Those four men were now on another planet many light years away.
"So Doctor Richards, what do you think of how we travel around here?" she heard a voice behind her ask. She turned to face Major Davis.
"Eh it's…" she stumbled for words to explain how she felt.
He smiled broadly; he'd seen the stunned mullet look before on other new members of staff.
Antonia smiled back.
"You'll get used it," he said, " be just like travelling on the tube."
She nodded not entirely convinced that going through that portal would be like travelling on the London Underground.
Davis continued, "Well next week you can find out for yourself, SG-5 is the team you have been assigned to and you'll be on their next mission."
"Thank you Major." She replied, though she felt more trepidation than gratitude.
***********
Daniel introduced her to the other members of SG-1, Jack O'Neill she had briefly met at Robert's funeral. The Colonel wore a look of bemused indifference at times, but she observed by the way he spoke about the Gou'ald and past missions that this was somewhat of a front for his smart military brain.
Major Carter tried to clarify the theories of the wormhole to Antonia, but despite Sam's somewhat lengthy explanations, Antonia had to admit defeat. She knew it worked and that would have to do.
Teal'c was fascinating, the strong Jaffa spoke little but when he did she hung on his every word. His presence in the mountain complex and the larval Goa'uld he carried were proof if any were needed of Daniel's Stories.
The week seemed to fly by, Antonia had so much to learn; they even put a gun in her hand and gave her target practice. The sidearm was small, compared to the P90's she'd seen, but it still felt heavy and unnatural in her hand. She hoped she would never have to use it.
On the morning of her first mission Antonia sat in the commissary, all togged up in her new uniform the SG-5 patch stuck to her sleeve. She glanced at her watch; yes she decided time for one more coffee before she had to meet up with Lieutenant Barber. As she returned to her seat with the steaming cup of black liquid Major Davis entered, he smiled and fetched his own cup taking the seat opposite.
"So," he began," your first mission. How you do you feel?"
She told him the truth, though part of her wanted to brazen it out, "I'm excited and nervous, from what the MALP pictures show, I'm gonna have some very interesting ruins to study, but stepping through that gate well…." She paused.
Davis finished for her, "…a little daunting."
"Yeah," she grinned.
"You'll be fine, though I'm afraid I won't be here when you return, General Hammond comes back from leave today."
Her face fell, she had gotten to know Paul well over the last week; she had found him easy to get along with and considered him a friend.
"Oh I'm sure I'll pop back from time to time."
"I hope so. You'll have to come over for a meal, I may have unpacked by them!"
Paul chuckled, "still living out of boxes?"
"Yeah, a little, getting there."
"I'm sure you will," he said kindly.
"I guess so, and you Daniel really helped a lot."
He put his hand on the small of his back and made a mock grimace, "yeah I can still feel the weight of that crate of books."
"Hey!" she chided him good-naturedly, "wasn't my fault the removal men left them in the hall…"
Before he could get in another taunt Lieutenant Barber popped his head around the door, "Doctor Richards, Doctor Jackson would like a word before we leave."
"OK thanks, I'm on my way." She told the young Airman.
She drained down the coffee and then stood up, Paul rose too.
"Good Luck Toni!"
She hesitated for a second, any other friend she would hug now, but this was the SGC with all the military rules and regulations. But going with her instincts she reached up, put her arms around him, and embraced him briefly.
After she left Paul returned to his seat amused by the glances from the other SGC members but without a trace of embarrassment.
***********
Daniel's office was if possible even more cluttered; half a dozen open books were spread over his already crowded desk. His concentration was so intense he didn't notice Antonia enter until she said his name.
He looked up, blinked taking a moment to focus as if coming back from a dream.
"Hey Toni" he said with a questioning look.
"Barber said you wanted to see me."
"He did?" He looked lost for second, "oh yes, just wanted to ask you to…" he searched though a pile of manila folders, " ah yes." He pulled out a MALP image. " This isn't very clear but I thought it might be Cuneiform and…." He went on to tell her about his encounter with Nem on P3X866…" we never found any others of his race." He concluded.
"Maybe they just visited like here on earth." She speculated.
"Yeah…Anyway hopefully by the end of the mission you'll know more," he paused and studied her for a second before asking "So how are you feeling?"
She repeated the answer she gave Paul earlier.
"I understand," he walked round the desk to where she stood, and lightly touched her upper arm, "Take care…I'd hate anything to happened to you."
His eyes locked with hers and she felt a shiver at the base of her spine, she had the same indecision again about hugging him goodbye as she had with Paul. However, this time it was because she knew that she wanted Daniel's arms around her for longer than a brief hug.
Antonia couldn't deny her attraction to Daniel, though she had tried to ignore it, deep down she knew it was a reason she had taken this job. Though she told herself the promised adventure was the main one, that promise had been fulfilled from what she had already seen in the last week.
She glanced towards the books, " I'll be back before you know it," she reassured him.
He followed her look; "yeah certainly have enough to keep me busy."
"Well…I better be going." She told him taking a step back, deciding against the hug after all.
Daniel however had other ideas, he moved forward and pulled her into his arms, her head on his shoulder, she felt a gentle kiss on her hair, "Good luck Toni," he said softly
She pulled away, unsure how to deal with the surge of emotion his nearness was causing her, trying vainly to label the fluttering in her stomach, pre-mission nerves.
"Thank you," she managed to express gratitude for his benediction, "I better be going,"
"Yes of course, I'll walk with you."
At the elevator, they met Jack.
"Good morning Doctors" he grinned.
They returned the greeting.
"So Doctor R I see you are off on a little day trip, hope you didn't have a big breakfast!" he winked
"Jack!" Danny scolded, " you'll frighten her."
"It's OK Daniel, " Antonia defended herself, she smiled broadly at Jack, "I'm a big girl I'm sure I can cope."
Jack's tone changed all levity gone, "I hope you can Antonia, the universe is a dangerous place, but I'm sure Colonel Asher will look after you."
The doors opened to level 28, Antonia left the two men at the entrance to the control room and joined the other members of SG-5 in the gateroom.
As Antonia waited for the gate to activate she glanced back to the control room, Paul smiled and winked; Daniel stood at the other end of the room, arms folded, slightly tense but he too smiled. The Stargate erupted and she turned to face the event horizon, she walked the short distance up the ramp and without hesitation side by side with Barber she stepped into the wormhole.
Within seconds, SG-5 were on their destination planet.
***********
Three days later, the gate activated, the correct iris code was received and authorised, allowing SG-5 to return. After the standard medical, and a shower Antonia sought out Daniel.
He smiled warmly as she entered his office "Hi, I heard you were back, how did it go?"
"Oh Daniel," she gushed and for the next twenty minutes she told him all about the ruins and the artefacts she'd found. Unfortunately, no trace of Nem's race had been discovered, though Colonel Asher was hopeful that they had found evidence of Naquadah deposits; a survey team would be doing a follow up.
Daniel watched her as she told her story; he felt as if he been holding his breath the whole time she had been away. His thoughts of her had been mixed, yes he accepted he cared for her, she was a good friend, but could it be more? He wanted to take a chance, yet at the same time he was scared, frightened the way he considered a normal person would be, nervous of making a move, a commitment, opening up trusting, becoming a part of someone's life, they part of yours. Would she want him? Could she feel the same?, the fear or rejection overshadowing the joy that could be had from a loving relationship. Then he had all the fears that his unique lifestyle gave him, the ever present Goa'uld threat or any other number of alien encounters. Every trip through the gate to a new planet meant possible new dangers.
Looking at the way her hands illustrated her point and the way her soft hair framed her face; it was hard not to reconsider the decision he had made, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that it was better for the SGC for them to stay friends.
Antonia was telling him now how Major Harris had introduced her to the SGC ration packs and he laughed with her at her description of the tasteless foil packed food.
She was tired though he could see the dark half circles under her eyes, three nights under canvas on an alien world with double the usual number of moons was always draining, especially the first time. She acknowledged this herself.
"Anyway Daniel I still have loads to tell you, but I'm bushed, I'm gonna go home, have a soak in the bath and get an early night, I have to back bright and early for the briefing."
Daniel smiled sympathetically; Colonel Asher was certainly more a stickler for punctuality than Jack was. "Do you need a ride? " he offered.
"Thanks but Alan Harris said he'd drop me back to town, " she pointed towards Daniel's still overflowing desk, "Looks as though you still have a lot of work to do."
"Oh yeah, this latest planet P4X-347 looks fascinating, and I think SG-5 have been assigned to the mission."
"Great!" she enthused
Major Harris appeared in the doorway, " you ready Toni?" he asked.
"Yep Alan be with you in a sec." She replied and then to Daniel, "better go, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow."
"OK Toni see you later."
"See ya, " she returned over her shoulder as she left the office.
***********
Two days later SG-5, General Hammond and Daniel were sitting around the conference table in the briefing room as Antonia gave her presentation of the known information about P4X-347. Still images from the MALP flicked over the screen. The gate was inside on this planet. However, the structure was unfamiliar to both archaeologists. Daniel was certain the symbols on the many pillars were Goa'uld and this was the reason that SG-5 would be going alone first to the Planet for a standard recon. Antonia and possibly Daniel would follow later.
After the last slide, General Hammond thanked her and then turned to Daniel, "Doctor Jackson because of the potential Goa'uld threat I want you to go with SG-5 on this mission."
"Yes Sir," he replied.
Antonia just stared at the General in disbelief as he continued, "Please make sure Doctor Jackson has all your notes Doctor Richards."
She turned the slide viewer remote over and over in her hand her irritation building, but she knew this was the way the Air Force worked and the decision, whether she liked it or not had been made. She nodded in acceptance.
The General stood and returned to his office, the meeting was concluded.
Colonel Asher came over to her, "I'm sorry Toni, but you always knew there was a possibility of this."
"Yes," she sighed.
Daniel was full of enthusiasm, "this is great I was hoping to get a change to see this palace, I thought I was gonna have to…" he stopped as he saw the look of disappointment on Antonia's face.
She gathered up the folders and turned the projector off, she understood but the curious investigating part of her was let down.
"Toni, " Daniel said, "there'll be other planets there always are and a few that I'd love to return too, always new challenges. Also once we know there is no threat for certain I expect the General will let you visit."
Her face lifted, "you think so?"
"There's a good chance," he reassured her.
Colonel Asher spoke up "Doctor Jackson, my team will gate to P4X-347 and report back in four hours if it's all clear you can join us then."
"Thank you I'll be ready." He nodded, " Come on Toni let's have some lunch I think I'd like some proper food before I end up on rations again."
She smiled, "Good idea mate, I heard Lasagne was the special today."
Daniel returned the smile, "sounds great let's go."
***********
Jim Barber returned first from P4X-347, Daniel had asked him to consult Teal'c about some of the inscriptions they had found. He also had a report from Colonel Asher that there was no sign of Goa'uld threat and a message from Daniel that Sam and Antonia would find many fascinating things to study. Antonia asked the General immediately if he could return with Barber, Hammond agreed; Sam also intrigued decided to forgo her weekend off to go with her.
Antonia waited with Barber for Sam in the gateroom. While the gate dialled, the Major chatted to Jack as they walked down from the control room; Antonia turned to greet them as the gate activated. She was just about to speak when Jack's strangled cry stopped her. Seeing the young lieutenant running up the ramp straight towards the oncoming surge from the gate he'd urgently called out his name in an attempt to stop him, but it was too late. Barber was vaporised instantaneously.
"Oh my god!" cried Sam
Antonia stared blindly at the gate trying to come to terms with what had happened, Barber had taken his own life, why? Her expression of shock, horror and disbelief was reflected on Sam and Jack's faces.
***********
General Hammond also wanted that question answered as he addressed the briefing room. Daniel and the remaining members of SG-5 had been immediately recalled from the planet.
Daniel described the Palace he and SG-5 had discovered on P4X-347 and a stunning light matrix hologram projection. In his hand was some type of device that he speculated was possibly a Gou'ald hand held computer.
Antonia thought he seemed on edge, distracted, but then she too was, the image of Barber charging up the ramp to his death was constantly on her mind. As was Colonel Asher's shocked face and Major Harris' startled gasp as Hammond told them of the death of their team-mate. The two members of her team had left the base a short while ago she'd considered joining them but decided that she may be more help to Daniel and Teal'c translating the writings from the pillars.
Daniel's edginess moved to full blown temper in his office, the device now refused to work, Teal'c was more concerned with some shadows on the screen, what was that all about? He needed to know what was going with the artefact; it could be the clue to the whole place. He had to go back to the planet, Hammond wanted him to wait, well he obviously couldn’t see the importance. And Jack what was he wittering on about? Batteries, honestly sometimes that man didn't have a clue. He needed to speak to Hammond right now, he charged out of the office bumping into Antonia on the way in. He ignored the encounter and carried on single-mindedly towards the elevator.
Well Hammond was an idiot, Daniel mused as he waited by the doors pushing the button repeatedly, why were these damn things so slow? He needed to be back on this mission, OK so SG-5 had lost a team member, he could take Antonia and SG-11, yeah that was it, see there was always a solution. The delay in the elevator arriving allowed Jack and Antonia to catch up with him.
"Daniel? " Jack questioned
"Jack?" Daniel stared back blankly.
"Do you think this is a good idea?"
"Yes… why don't you?"
Jack considered the situation, short of restraining Daniel, he couldn't really stop him and from the attitude he was getting maybe Hammond's authority would impress the point home.
The three SG members travelled to the twenty-eighth floor in silence.
Daniel's exchange with General Hammond didn't go well and ended with Daniel storming out. Antonia was shocked by the way he spoke to the commander of the base, accusing him of missing the point entirely. Jack was close to losing his temper too. Hammond calmly explained to the agitated Daniel that he was writing a letter to Barber's family. But of course, the General was unable to explain how he died. Robert Rothman's family would have received a similar letter, the cover-up-drowning story. She knew the truth now, knew that Robert had been shot before the parasite inside him, controlling him, was able to overpower and kill the rest of the SGC team on P3X-888.
The return trip in the elevator was also in silence, Antonia studied the two men, both barely concealing their rage. Daniel's was irrational like a small child denied candy because of a misdemeanour he was crying it's not fair, Jack's anger was directed towards Daniel's disrespect for his CO a man he admired and respected.
She smiled her sweetest smile at her fellow archaeologist and said lightly, "hey how about I shout you dinner?"
Daniel stared at her for a second then grunted an acceptance, "yeah OK."
"Jack? " Antonia asked the Colonel hoping he would realise what she was attempting.
"Eh Toni I'd love to, but I've booked myself a spot on the couch with the hockey play-offs."
"Oh right, well em enjoy," Great he had taken the bait, she could get Daniel off the base and away from any further confrontation." Maybe next time then?"
"Yeah that'd be good," Jack acknowledged.
***********
Daniel was a lot calmer by the time he and Antonia reached the restaurant and as they ate the starter, they chatted amicably about the latest finds in Greece.
However, the mood changed with the main course, Daniel began to complain about Hammond's decision again.
"He was right " Antonia told him.
Daniel glared at her "You just don't understand. How can you?" He snapped.
She stared at him for a second, first thought to return the anger but instead she agreed.
"Yes you're right." It was the truth she was having trouble understanding why he was so insistent on his point.
This acceptance instead of calming him seemed to anger him more, " See I was right, " his voice began to rise, "What on earth an inexperienced person like you is doing on this mission…."
She interrupted, "Excuse me you asked me to come and work…."
"Well sometimes I make the wrong choice…."
Antonia sighed her patience with Daniel's behaviour had finally run out; her attempts to relax him had failed. "Well so did I having dinner with you, she laid down her fork, removed the serviette from her lap and stood up. "I'll see you at work in the morning." She left the table.
Daniel went after her, grabbing her, quite roughly, by the arm.
She gasped at the strength of his hold. Her cheeks flushed with anger: She placed her hand over his and said slowly and quietly her eyes daggers to his, " Let me go now."
His hand relaxed, his look was one of horror, "Toni, I'm sorry."
She didn't answer simply removed his hand and started toward the cloakroom to get her coat.
"Toni," Daniel called.
She turned back to him as she buttoned up her jacket; "I'll talk to you at work tomorrow when you have calmed down."
Not giving him a chance to reply she left the restaurant, it was a cold clear night, the hint of the morning's frost already on the cars. There was no sign of a cab so she walked the few blocks to her apartment.
Once she inside she dug around the kitchen and made cheese and pickle sandwiches, a favourite comforting food that would fill her up instead of the missed dinner. What was the matter with Daniel? She asked herself the same question she'd been asking ever since his first outburst, but she still had no answer.
Sat in the quiet of her kitchen the events of the day overwhelmed her, she thought of Barber laughing and joking with Harris just a few days ago, surely not someone who would commit suicide. She cried for him then, silent tears a release of the grief and the frustration with Daniel.
Some time later she dried her eyes and blew her nose, tomorrow would be a new day and she has other things to think about, maybe even find clues to what had happened to the young lieutenant to make him act the way he did. She and SG-1 would travel to P4X-347. She rinsed her plate in the sink and headed to bed.
***********
The next morning Antonia joined Jack, Sam and Teal'c in the Control room. There was no sign of Daniel. Jack decided to allow him a few more minutes, punctuality was never his strong point, he'd been tired and stressed the day before, maybe he'd slept in a bit. From what Antonia had told him of her dinner with the absent archaeologist, his temper hadn't improved after leaving Cheyenne Mountain.
General Hammond questioned the delay, as Sam replaced the phone receiver, Daniel's line was busy but Sam was sure he had picked up the first time. Jack suggested he make a wake up call.
By the time the Colonel had returned with Daniel, Harris and Asher were in the infirmary they had also been AWOL that morning and Hammond had sent searchers after them. Harris had been found unconscious on the floor of his apartment in town; Asher sitting on the floor in the corner of his SGC quarters rocking incoherently backwards and forwards. All three SGC personal were hooked up to monitors, a nurse permanently watching their life signs. Harris had never regained consciousness, Asher was semi conscious, Daniel was sleeping, and of the three, he seemed to be the least affected for now.
Jack didn't say how he'd found Daniel but he was grim faced as he questioned Janet Fraiser about his friend's condition. The Doctor was not optimistic, she explained to Jack, Hammond and Antonia that the PET scan had told her that her patient's neurological activity was slowing down, she had no idea why.
The only option Jack could see was to return to the planet the clue to the mystery must lie there, plus there was the shadow Teal'c had seen on the monitor, Hammond agreed.
***********
Jack, Teal'c, Sam and Antonia left for the planet, filter masks and hoods covering their heads. After Sam's analysis of the air they removed the masks, whatever the problem was it was not airborne. Antonia looked around in amazement the palace was fantastic. Jack echoed her thoughts,
"Well I can see why Daniel was so hot on this place."
After a short exploration, they found the light that Daniel had enthused about it. The colours swirled and Kaleidoscoped to the ceiling, blues, pinks, a whole rainbow of colour, coiling into intricate shapes and patterns. Daniel was right it was stunning.
Jack discovered that the shadow they had seen on the MALP pictures was a young man called Loren. He was talking to him trying to find out some answers, when the General's call on the radio surprised him, what had seemed like mere minutes had been well over an hour. Hammond had bad news, Harris and Asher were dead and Daniel was in a deep coma, it didn't look good.
Jack instructed Teal'c and Sam to continue the search for clues, while he and Antonia returned to the SGC with samples.
***********
Antonia stood by Daniel's bedside; Jack sat on the next bed, the empty bed a reminder that the previous occupant had died. She studied Daniel's still face, was this it? Would she never see those clear blue eyes smiling at her again? It wasn't fair just when she was beginning to care for him, yes damn it she did care for him and now he was going to leave her, SG-5 had already gone. The tears began then, so at first she didn't notice how jittery Jack was becoming, he fidgeted constantly and then finally let out his frustration by banging a chart clipboard against the instrument trolley. Janet rushed over concerned.
"Colonel? Are you all right? " She asked.
Jack was holding his head in his hands at her words he snapped "What kind of dumb-ass question is that? My friend," he pointed to Daniel," is laying there on his deathbed." He paused, another glance over at the inert Daniel then answered her question, "I'm fine."
Janet tried to re-assure him "We’re working on the problem Sir."
The Instrument tray was swept to the floor as Jack shouted back at her, "I don't want excuses!"
Motioning to the Airmen at the door Janet told Jack, "If you don't calm down right now, I will have you removed from my infirmary is that clear?"
"I'm fine" Jack insisted.
But Janet could see he wasn't his hand was pressed to his forehead, "Colonel I'd like to recheck your dopamine levels."
He understood, "it's happening to me isn't it?"
"Let me find out, please," Janet said gently.
Antonia watched as she lead Jack away to one of the nurses to begin the tests. She took one of Daniel's hands in hers, she was going to lose him she knew it. The silent tears became sobs and within seconds she was sobbing so hard she had trouble breathing, the pain was so strong, there was a blackness everywhere too. She felt heavy as if a large weight was bearing down on her and tired, so weary, all she wanted to do was sleep. Yes sleep would be good, forget everything for awhile, a long long sleep.
"Toni…Toni?" Janet's hand was on her shoulder she had been trying to get her attention.
She tried to focus on the Doctor, taking big deep breaths, she managed to stop the sobbing." Janet, oh God Janet what's happening to me?"
"Come on we need to do some tests, but I reckon you and Jack have the same problem."
"We do?"
"Let's find out shall we?"
Janet explained that what was happening to them was like a massive cold turkey drug withdrawal, even though Jack and Antonia had only spent just over an hour on the planet the addiction was practically instantaneous. But she was hoping that short time meant their symptoms wouldn't get as bad.
Hammond was just expressing concern that he had been unable to contact Teal'c and Sam when the machines at Daniel's bed began an incessant beeping.
"What's that?" Jack asked
"His EEG is sporadic. This is exactly what happened to Asher and Harris before they died."
"No!" Antonia exclaimed.
"Sir you're gonna have to take him back to the planet," Janet insisted.
The nurses quickly dressed Daniel and wheeled his bed to the gateroom. The technicians had already established the wormhole to P4X-347. They were just in time as more angry beeping from the monitor announced that Daniel's heart rate was flatlining.
Janet made the call, "No time to resuscitate...Let's go."
Jack lifted Daniel from the bed and carried him over his shoulders through the gate into the wormhole, Antonia following behind.
On the other side the two men collapsed on the floor at the base of the steps leading to the gate, Jack began to shake Daniel willing him to wake up, calling out his name and shouting for Teal'c and Sam.
Antonia crouched down beside them; Daniel was stirring, his eyes fluttering.
The commotion had attracted Loren he emerged from behind a pillar.
"Where are my friends?" Jack asked.
"With the light," Loren told him.
"Get them for me will ya?" Jack demanded
"They won't come."
Jack lost his temper, "Well try," he shouted.
Loren ran off.
Daniel was groaning now, slowly coming round.
"Toni, you stay here with Daniel, I'm gonna find the others."
"OK." She nodded
As she watched Jack leave, she realised that she was feeling a lot calmer the depression had gone although she was still worried about Daniel's condition. But the colour was returning to his cheeks and his breathing was regular and even. He still seemed so vulnerable and he had been so close to death. Kneeling beside him, she gently stroked his forehead, "come on Danny, " she said softly, " wake up."
Perhaps her voice got to through to him, his eyes opened and he blinked up at her," Toni?" he said confused. She helped him sit up. "We're back on the planet…what…what happened?"
Antonia explained what Janet had told her of the effects of the narcotic then, "Harris and Asher didn't make it and…it was touch and go for you for a while."
" Really?"
"Yes, I…I thought I was going to lose you and, " she paused and reached out her hand to touch his cheek, "I'd hate that "
Daniel covered her hand with his own, " Oh Toni" he breathed. He was unsure what had happened, the last thing he remembered clearly was taking a cab back to his apartment after the aborted dinner with Antonia. Her eyes were full of concern and he felt groggy as he had after coming round from the anaesthesia after his appendix operation.
The look of concern in Antonia's eyes, gave him a flutter in his stomach, she cared, just for his heath or was it more? He needed to know. Leaning towards her, he intended to kiss her, her nearness was an irresistible temptation, he wanted to feel the softness of her lips on his, but the sound of the Stargate moving made them jump up; an incoming wormhole was being established and they were in the path of the vortex.
It was a radio message from General Hammond, Daniel spoke to him and then Janet asked Antonia for confirmation of how he was doing, she was happy to report that he seemed fine. In fact, they both felt quite happy, she tried to explain the feeling to Janet, like the buzz a few drinks gave but not enough to be drunk. This confirmed if they needed it, that there was a narcotic at work.
Daniel also apologised to the General for his earlier outburst and asked for his glasses, supplies, and the artefact that he'd shown him at the briefing to be sent though the gate.
Loren had returned; Antonia introduced him to Daniel. They talked for awhile and the young man was able to give Daniel some clues to the inscriptions.
Later the wormhole activated again, and a FRED trundled through, packed with supplies, and the items Daniel had requested.
With Loran's help Daniel realised that hand held device he had found was the off switch for the light. However, it wasn't this display that was causing the addiction as Jack Teal'c and Sam discovered when they left the Palace to explore the beach. Jack and Sam began to experience the withdrawal effects again.
Teal'c found the remains of Loren's parents, buried in the sand, and so finally Jack managed to extract the answers he needed from the young man. Loren had found the off switch for the device, and his parents, like the members of SG-5 had died from the cold turkey withdrawal. Sam however figured out that they could turn the device down incrementally and go through a slow and painless withdrawal. Teal'c's symbiote protected him by keeping him chemically balanced, he could return immediately to the SGC but the others were stuck on the planet for three weeks.
***********
The sun was setting over the sea as Antonia strolled along the beach, idly casting stones in the water. She tried to make them spin and skip but had never got the knack, but someone had, as a stone skipped and jumped on the water passing her feeble effort. She turned to see the thrower, Daniel.
"Here try it like this," he said and repeated it with another stone.
She tried again copying his actions; it bounced once, a big improvement.
Daniel laughed, "See you just needed to know how."
"Yeah I guess so." She laughed with him.
"Sam sent me to get you, " he told her explaining his presence on the foreshore.
Antonia pointedly checked her watch, he was right; they had been on the planet for a week now and could spend an hour outside before the effects of the withdrawal hit. But she felt a slight irritation that her short-lived freedom was over.
" Yeah yeah, OK" she sighed. She looked around the sun was sinking lower and she would love to stay and see it disappear into the horizon. She remembered a childhood holiday in Cornwall standing on the beach watching the sun slowly sink into the Atlantic there had been many sunsets since but that one had always stayed with her. She wanted to defy the curfew, wait here to see the yellow, reds and oranges that would reflect against the gently lapping sea.
As she had shown no sign of moving, Daniel repeated his request, "Toni you really should…"
The irritation rose to full blown anger, " Oh For crying out loud, " she exclaimed unknowingly using Jack favourite phrase, "what difference does a few more minutes make?"
"I'd say a lot, you are starting to get snappy."
"Snappy, " she laughed, " oh I'm a crocodile now am I." She walked off further away from the palace.
Daniel followed her, she had a slight advantage on the soft sand as she was bare footed, but his longer legs soon caught her and he reached out to touch her arm but she wriggled away again. He knew that the irrationality of the withdrawal was taking over and he had to get her back inside as quickly as possible, he even wished for a second he had a Zat gun to quickly stun her and then drag her back.
"Toni please," he pleaded.
"What? All I want is a bit of freedom, what's the matter with that? I've been cooped up here for the last week I need to breathe."
"You're been out here longer than an hour haven't you?" Daniel concluded
"So?" she spat back.
"So you are going through the withdrawal and you can either come back nicely with me or I'll send Jack out here and he won't be so gentle."
She laughed and then said in a sing song voice, " so who's afraid of the big bad colonel then?"
Daniel ignored this, he grabbed her firmly and turned her around to face him, " I am afraid of losing you the way we lost SG-5."
"You are?" she gasped and blinked at him.
"Yes I am, I've lost too many people and I don't want you on that list."
Daniel had finally got through to Antonia she looked away from his gaze, her cheeks flushed. Without another word, she ran away back towards the palace.
The first finger of the setting sun had reached the water now and Daniel understood why Antonia had wanted to stay to watch. The clouds backlit by the dying rays, were turning shades of red and pink. This display of nature was even more beautiful than the mesmerising light in the palace and more special as it was unique. Daniel considered his words to Antonia as he stood on the beach, he had meant it he didn't want to lose her and he knew now the choice he had made before while she was on her last mission was misguided and he would tell her as soon as she was herself again.
***********
Daniel was sitting reading on his bed in the room he had chosen as his quarters in the Goa'uld palace, he looked up as Antonia entered.
"Hi!" he said simply.
"Hi!" she answered feeling a little self-conscious after her outburst on the beach, although she knew the narcotic withdrawal had been the cause. However, she did have a reason to be there, one she gave, "I seem to have one of your books in the last lot of stuff that came through the gate."
She offered it to him,
"Ah thank you, I was wondering where that had got to" he stood up and told the book from her
Her errand performed Antonia, turned to leave.
Daniel seemed not to notice, "So what are the others up to he asked?"
"Sam's writing that book she been working on for awhile, but, " she frowned, " she said something about harder without the armbands."
Daniel chuckled, "oh yeah it would be, "
Smiling back at his obvious amusement was easy, but she was still none the wiser.
Sensing this he explained, "The Tok'ra found some armbands that increased our abilities, almost super powers, but the effect didn't last. "
She nodded, she remembered but still had the full report to read, yet one more amazing story to absorb, "oh and Jack is teaching Loren baseball, he tried to rope me in too"
"Oh yeah that's Jack, loves his sport."
"Yeah, well I better be going General Hammond's sent me a lot of reports, I'll find the one about the armbands first I think. I still have a lot of stuff to take in."
Daniel smiled wryly, that was an understatement, he had lived it the last few years, but Antonia was just discovering it all afresh.
"Do you, " he put the emphasis on the next word, "have to go?"
The clear blue eyes searched hers for the answer.
"No, I don't," she echoed his emphasis with a slight smile, "have, to go."
"Great!" he beamed.
The enthusiasm threw her for a second, but reassured her that he had no animosity towards her after her behaviour outside.
"Would you like a coffee? " he asked as the kettle on his small camp stove began to boil.
"Yes please."
He began to prepare the coffee from his SGC ration pack.
Antonia falteringly started to apologise, " look about earlier on the beach…I…I'm sorry."
Daniel stopped in mid stir, "It's OK I understand, and I don't think I ever properly apologised for my outburst in the restaurant."
She smiled, "Then I guess we are even,"
"Yeah, suits me." He passed her a cup.
Daniel returned to his spot on the bed and Antonia took a seat on one of the SGC packaging cases that littered the room. Even in the short time they had been there, the Archaeologist had made the room as untidy as his office in Cheyenne Mountain.
Daniel studied the dark liquid in his cup for second, before he spoke, " I meant what I said, I don't want to lose you." He placed the cup on the floor and came over to where Antonia sat crouching so he was at her eye level.
"When you lose someone," he continued, "it makes it even harder to try again because the fear of loss is even greater."
"I think I understand."
"But then not trying brings it's own risks too, the risk of not finding happiness." He took a strand of her hair between his figures, "Toni I care about you and I want you to be the one I take that risk with."
"You do?" she gasped.
He stood up and moved away from her, " but this place," he spread his arms out "Something like this happened to me before, I was addicted to the sarcophagus, " he winced remembering, " I made some bad choices under the influence and the…withdrawal was…difficult."
She nodded unsure what to say; simply confirming that she was listening.
Daniel came to the point he was trying to make, " I need to know that anything we have is genuine, not the result of some Goa'uld drug addiction. In two weeks we will be back on Earth, back to normal."
Antonia stood up and took his hand in hers. She knew it was a cliché as she said it but it was the only response she could give. "What's two weeks when we have a lifetime?" she smiled.
Daniel beamed it was the answer he wanted, he kissed her briefly, a short sweet kiss, a promise of more to follow.
By an unspoken mutual agreement, they sat down again.
Antonia lightened the mood "So Daniel tell me about the armbands, I bet there's some stuff that never got in the official report."
He chuckled, "well funny you should say that, there was something that happened in O'Malley's…"
© Katana 2001