About Me:

I live in Santa Cruz, California. I can juggle, but not very well. Same with playing music and cooking.
I have no kids. Or pets. I've never had a suit that really, really fit right. 

  • What does FAQ stand for? Beats me, but people ask me that all the time.
  • Do you Twitter? You couldn't pay me to tweet. Just kidding. Sure you can.
  • Are you single? You know, ultimately we are all so horribly, horribly alone.
  • What's your partner's name? Are you trying to determine whether I'm gay?
  • Are you sensitive about it? About what? It's annoying how you answer questions with another question.
  • I notice you've built your site with a Google application. Why? I feel that the more Google knows about me the better. They've got my email, my calendar, some of my working documents, and even some drawings. If you ever need to identify my body, call Google.
  • Is it true you haven't thrown up for over 35 years? Yes. It's been hard at times, but worth it.
  • Do you have any professional aspirations? I want to one day win the New Yorker Caption Contest. I am 0 for 19 so far. 
  • Why do you write? So that I have an excuse for not ironing.
  • What would happen if you gargled in zero gravity? We're done here.