Letters

Letters From Children Surviving Sexual Abuse

Introduction

The following open letters are from a group of children surviving child sexual abuse.

The first letter is an open plea to parents in general so other children are not victimized.

The next two letters demonstrate the difference in feelings for a mother who believes the abuse disclosure and one who does not.

The last two letters express the range of feelings of child survivors toward their abuser.

Having worked with a group of children who have been sexually abused, they have expressed great concern about what they can do to help prevent other children from being molested. They believe that parents need to increase their awareness of this problem, and that sexual-abuse prevention education for children should be taught beginning in kindergarten and continuing throughout the school-age years. They were asked what they would tell grownups about this problem and here is what they said:

Talk To Children About Sexual Abuse

The more you ignore sexual abuse, the more of a problem it is going to become.

Abuse is not invisible - it is there if you know what to look for.

Warning signs include:

unusual behavior such as not wanting to be touched,

grades dropping,

nightmares,

withdrawing,

fear in their eyes,

sudden weight change, or

rebellious behavior.

What would you do if your child told you that they were being sexually abused ?

Would you believe them ?

Statistics say one in three girls and one in four boys are molested before age 18.

Are you sure that your child is not want of these statistics ?

It is important for kids to know about sexual abuse so it won't happen to them.

If it does, they won't be scared to tell.

Parents, talk to your kids and listen to your kids.

We are asking you to talk to your kids about a topic that is not brought out into the open - not drugs, not sex, not HIV, but child sexual abuse.

It happens when least expected and the abuser is usually not a stranger - it is often someone your child knows and trusts.

Teach your children about their bodies and what kinds of touching are okay.

Tell them to come and talk to you about touching that is not okay and tell them you will believe them.

Some children are threatened not to tell.

Remember to tell your children that you will protect them and you won't be mad at them.

Assure your kids that sexual abuse is not their fault.

Grownups always know it is wrong to touch a child's private parts or tell them not to tell anyone.

There are people out there who care.

We speak to you as survivors.

We hope your child won't have to be a survivor.

Children's Survivor Group

Letter To Mom Who Doesn't Believe Her Daughter

Dear Mother:

Mother, if you don't believe me, that's fine - but you just lost a daughter.

If you think I'm making stuff like this up, you have big problems. It's not something a kid would lie about.

If you think about spreading rumors about me, please don't because you know it's true. Please get help.

If you don't believe me, it did happen and we can't change it.

If you don't believe me, I will call someone else.

If you don't believe me, they will keep hurting other children.

It hurts me to think you don't believe me.

I feel like you are turning your back on me.

I feel like you picked him over me.

You said you would always protect me, but by not believing me, it's like giving him the okay to hurt me.

Please help me.

Some people can believe me, but you might not believe me.

It hurts me that you did not believe me.

Mom, I always loved you and I always will.

I want you to always love me forever. Goodbye.

Love always,

Your daughter

Letter To Mom Who Believed Her Daughter

Dear Mommy:

God bless you!!!

Thank you for caring and believing me.

I wish everyone could have a mom like you.

I love you a lot mom.

You believed me, so please always stand beside me.

Thank you for caring when I needed someone to hold me.

I feel like I'm the luckiest one on the face of the Earth, and not because of what happened, but because you believed me.

You are my role model.

I look up to you.

I hope to be like you when I get older.

There are just some things that just can't be explained, so I'm glad you understood.

Your loving daughter

Letter To Offender

(Someone you care about/member of your family)

Dear Perpetrator:

I want you to know that every time you molest someone, you hurt them foreever.

Please don't do it anymore.

The conflict between you and me is causing conflict between my mom and me.

I hope your conscious bothers you.

I care about you, but I hate what you did to me.

If you care about me, why don't you get some psychiatric help like I am.

That's why I am writing this.

Letter To Offender

(In response to what should happen to offenders who molest children)

Dear Perpetrator:

You ugly dog !!!

I think you should be sentenced to death.

On the other hand death is too good for you.

I think you should lose your third leg, fingers, tongues, and eyeballs.

I think you should be locked up for life, in a dungeon with snakes and rats.

You would get bread and water, maybe oatmeal.

You should be put in jail with murderers and rapists to let nature take its course.

I think you should suffer the same consequences we did.

There is nothing bad enough that we could do to you.