Articles
"In 1958, some MIT seniors laid Oliver Smoot end to end across the Mass. Ave. Bridge and declared the bridge to be 364 smoots long, plus an ear. Somehow, the measurement became a treasure to be shared by Boston and Cambridge, and whenever the bridge is touched up, the Smoot markings are freshly painted."
-- Dennis Lehane, "Darkness Take My Hand
Go very lightly on the vices . . . the social ramble ain't restful
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.
When they boo you, you got to make 'em pay.
Avoid fried meats, which angry up the blood.
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige, "Satchel Sez", Three Rivers Press
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Remember that when you wrestle with a pig, you both get covered with mud - and the pig likes it.
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD:
1. Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.
2. Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.
3. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
4. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
5. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
6. Good sex should involve laughter. Because it's, you know, funny.
7. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
8. If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.
9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize," and, "You are right."
10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
11. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
12. The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was "Go! You might meet somebody!"
13. If she says that you are too good for him, believe her.
14. Pick your battles; ask yourself, will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
15. In hard times, ask yourself, "How do I feel? What do I want?" Use it whenever you're at loss for words or thoughts.
16. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
17. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
18. If you move far from your family when you're young, consider choosing a career with an airline. Your need to see your family will last a lifetime, as will your travel benefits.
19. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
20. Be really nice to your friends, because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.
21. Work is good, but it's not that important.
22. Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.
23. Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Winners don't know they're in a race, they just like to run.
Golden Rules for Living
If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unlock it, lock it up.
If you break it, admit it.
If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.
If you borrow it, return it.
If you value it, take care of it.
If you make a mess, clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.
If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.
-- Miriam Hamilton Keare
Nearly all successful NFL quarterbacks are ESTP on the Meiers-Briggs.
How to Eliminate Clutter
If it's broken, fix it (this weekend) or forget it
If you can't remove the stains, remove what the stains are staining
If it's made of newsprint, get rid of it
If your ex gave it to you, throw it out
If your mother-in-law gave it to you, chances are you should throw it out
If the IRS sent it to you, keep it for at least 7 years
If the best thing about it is that it was cheap, toss it
-- The Washington Post
The aim is personal -- not perfect -- homes, affordably achieved. "Great design does not begin with a truckload of trendy furniture or a Platinum American Express card. Great rooms begin with editing. Make a plan, set your priorities and then jettison the excess."
--"Living in Style Without Losing Your Mind", Marco Pasanella (Simon and Schuster, 199 pp., $30)
Don't worry about anything, pray about everything and always be thankful.
If
If you could host a dinner party in any room in the world (without having to clean up), where would you want to have it?
If you could arrange a rock concert with any three musicians or groups to play on the same bill, who would you invite?
If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?
If you could have a year any place in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
If you could "uninvent" one thing in the world so that it would no longer exist, what would you choose?
If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
If you could have an elegant dinner alone with anyone presently alive, whether you know them or not, who would you want it to be?
If you could have been the producer of any single television show or series, which one would you pick?
If you could break one world's record, what would it be?
-- If . . . (Questions for the Game of Life), Evelyn McFarlane & James Saywell
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart
Using What You Have
Discover your strengths and then use them to the best advantage.
Listen to others and learn from them.
Observe the actions of others so that you can profit from both their strengths and their mistakes.
Do not wait for goals to materialize, but go out and actively seek goals.
Money can be inherited, but never success. It must be earned by each individual.
The surest way to achieve success is to emulate sound role models, whether they be your parents, your teachers, your friends or your business associates.
-- "The Templeton Plan", as described by John Marks Templeton to James Ellison
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain
Delight in the Success of Others
While it can be seductive, or at least habitual, to secretly desire to keep others at your level, it's absolutely, positively not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart that everyone can expand to their greatest potential, to wish that the people you know, and those whom you don't know, can all realize their dreams and achieve greatness.
-- "Don't Worry, Make Money", Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
If I had a little bit of humility, I'd be perfect.
-- Ted Turner
The Ten Rules for Being Human
You will receive a body
You will be presented with lessons
There are no mistakes, only lessons
Lessons are repeated until learned
Learning does not end
"There" is no better than "here"
Others are only mirrors of you
What you make of your life is up to you
All the answers lie inside of you
You will forget all of this at birth
-- "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules", Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.
The surest way to make it hard for children is to make it easy for them.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Postscript to a letter from Groucho . . .
P.S. I saw Joe DiMaggio last night at Chasen's and he wasn't wearing his baseball suit. This struck me as rather foolish. Suppose a ball game broke out in the middle of the night? By the time he got into his suit, the game would be over.
-- "The Groucho Letters, Letters to and From Groucho", Groucho Marx
The faster he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The American Film Institute's Top 20 Films
1. Citizen Kane (1941)
2. Casablanca (1942)
3. The Godfather (1972)
4. Gone With The Wind (1939)
5. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
6. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
7. The Graduate (1967)
8. On the Waterfront (1954)
9. Schindler's List (1993)
10. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
11. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
12. Sunset Boulevard (1950)
13. The Bridge Over the River Kwai (1957)
14. Some Like it Hot (1959)
15. Star Wars (1977)
16. All About Eve (1950)
17. The African Queen (1951)
18. Psycho (1960)
19. Chinatown (1974)
20. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Freak Accident Kills Man, 82
Shawnee, Okla. (AP) -- An 82-year-old man was killed when his wife accidentally backed over him with their car while trying to drag him to the house after he had fallen in the driveway, police said. Pottawatomie County Sheriff's Dectective Tracy Warkentien described Franklin Gray's death Thursday as a "freak accident".
Gray, who is legally blind and uses a cane, was going for a walk along the driveway when he fell. His 87-year-old wife, Leta, tried to help him up but couldn't.
Gray asked her to drag him back to the house with a rope attached to the couples's car, Warkentien said. She came back with an extension cord and tied it to his belt.
The belt broke as the car started moving up the 44-foot driveway. The wife then tied the cord to Gray's ankle, Warkentien said. When the extension cord broke, police said Gray asked his wife to back the car closer to him so he could attach it. But, police said, her foot apparently was on the gas instead of the brake and, when she put the car in reverse, it backed over him.
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do."
-- Henry Kissinger
A Prayer
O God, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking guile. Let there be in me no malice, but a prayer for the good of all. Show me the way of righteousness that I may hurt no one; help me bring the blessing of love to others. Open my heart to do your will; strengthen my desire to obey your commandments. May my thoughts and prayers be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Harry's (Henry S. Lodge, M.D.) Rules
1. Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life.
2. Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life.
3. Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life.
4. Spend less than you make.
5. Quit eating crap!
6. Care.
7. Connect and Commit.