Q Although this is a nice program and I am separated and look after my kids, it is not for me. I never say anything negative about the other parent, only the truth. Having the Project Compassion box in my house is a nuisance. I am going to give to charity later anyhow.
A Divorce is an extremely stressful process and the boundary line of what is truthful and what is negative will seem different to a person who is under this severe stress compared to a person who is not. The more Project Compassion boxes placed in prominent places in houses the more chance there is to collect more money for the needy.
Q I don't need to participate in this program because I am not divorced or separated.
A Nearly 1 in 2 marriages today end in divorce so even if the family you live in is intact, the chances are someone in your extended family is in a divorced or separated situation. When those people and their children come to visit your household, the SACS Project Compassion box will be a small beacon to invite them to participate in SACS.
Q I am sad about this happening, but the children will grow up to be adults and be able to see that they have been manipilated to dislike or hate one parent and that side of the family.
A If children have been alienated to the point that psychological splitting has occurred, the dislike and hatrid for that parent can be lifelong so the problem needs to be addressed now.
Q Sadly the civil system has become involved and it is difficult to have contact with the children and the alienating parent.
A SACS is a way to help with minimal chance of upsetting the civil system that regulates divorce in Australia.
Q The advice I have from many books, Counsellors, Lawyers & Psychologists is to focus on being a good parent and not worry about the other parent.
A This advice, although well intentioned is given for the following reasons: they don't want you to get anxious and stressed (separation and divorce is already stressful enough), there are all sorts of professional rules they have to abide by giving you advice and many professionals sadly have a lack of knowledge about Parental Alienation.
Q By participating in this campaign are we involving kids in what Dr Phil calls 'adult issues'.
A Yes and No. Sadly too many children are taken away from God and one parent by a system that encourages child psychological abuse. The SACS campaign is just about the only way that children can defend themselves from this psychological and religious abuse. The adult issues that Dr Phil refer to are actual adult issues going on between the parents giving a one sided viewpoint. This campaign differs because it is to prevent an issue from occurring and is directed equally at both parents.
Q Can't we just go to a Lawyer, Psychologist or Counsellor to avoid the need to involve children in this.
A Sometimes these professionals can help, however they often won't resolve deep seated issues that one of more parents may harbour. Unfortunately the legal systems in many western countries encourages this kind of abuse against children. Change is happening and things are improving, however there is a long way to go. There are no publicly known preventative techniques espoused by experts to specifically target defending children from Parental Alienation behind closed doors.
Q My Ex used to bad mouth me in front of the kids and after going to Counselling he stopped so why should I worry.
A Despite putting on a good public face for you and other people, some parents cannot restrain their anger about their divorce and allow this negativity to spill over on to their children when no-one else is around. Psychologically this is extremely damaging to children because they cannot hear the other side of the argument which is what would happen if the parents were still married and living together (NB some arguing among spouses is normal during a marriage).
Q My children are very young now, so should I wait till they are nearly grown up before I introduce them to this.
A Sadly Parental Alienation can start at a very young age. If your children are young, it may however be worth not exposing them to SACS until you are aware that the other parent had started to badmouth you.
Q What other ways are there to help protect our children from child psychological abuse.
A Attend counselling to stay married. Look for a different more cooperative mindset to manage your separation. Make sure there is a nice smiling picture of the other parent in each bedroom a child lives in. Talk to other people, search libraries and search the internet.
Q Why should I bother with SACS if the other parent won't bother.
A It will help to keep you on your toes with your parenting skills. It will give you leverage at the right opportunity to encourage the other parent to participate in SACS. The money will go to a very worthy cause – children much needier than you.
Q Can I rely on SACS to protect my children from child psychological abuse.
A It is an initiative by well meaning volunteers. If you are the kind of person that wants to blame someone if it does not do as you hoped do not become involved. Try something else.
Q Should I get professional advice about the psychological impact of SACS on my children.
A It could take a long time to get agreed consensus and research about SACS by Psychologists. In the meantime hundreds of thousands of children will be psychologically abused. For your own peace of mind it is recommended that you get professional advice before participating in SACS if you have children.