How Not To Clean Your Darts
There are moments in life when everything falls apart so badly that you cross the line from screaming with anger to laughing at your situation. Thus was my evening of cleaning my soft tip darts.
My dart league meets tomorrow night and I will not have time to do my ritual dart cleaning. Now I would feel much better if I could go through the ritual before the dart match on Thursday, for it gets me ready mentally for the evening ahead. But knowing my schedule I decide at least if I do it tonight the darts will be ready and just allow the music and beer to set my mind at ease. Thus I find my dart case and begin to gather the supplies.
Now for those of you not knowing anything about soft tip darts, the tips are removable. During an evening of play the tips can become damaged or break, which necessitates the quick changing of the tip. A simple unscrewing of the tip in a counter clockwise fashion will remove the offending tip, and allows said thrower to insert a new one. Simple...however one must remember that there are two basic size tips. Are they called large and small by the dart manufacturer company? No, in their infinite wisdom they have named the large version 1/4BSF soft point and the small one 2BA soft tip. Found deep within the Velcro pocket of my dart case are, laying freely, a mixture of the above mentioned tips. While pulling out the needed 3 new tips I have rescued 1 small and two large. I need three small. Return the unneeded ones to the pouch and try again for two more. Ah...one small and one large. Again and one large. Out of the many small tips available for selection I seemed destined to select the large one I don’t need. I have a short tolerance for this type of behavior from inanimate objects. Trying in too quick of fashion to pull the tip free I liberate many tips at once causing a rain of soft tips across the desktop and the dark colored carpet.
I scoop the three needed tips up and place them to the side and then begin to retrieve the rest. Those on the desk are an easy recovery but those on the floor are difficult due to the color of the carpet and the need to climb under the desk. Having put them all back into the pouch I notice I am now missing one dart. Before I had started my battle with the tips I had taken the flights off the end of the darts. It is easier to hold the darts when cleaning them but when you set them down they tend to roll away. This missing dart must have rolled off the desk when I was busy picking up the tips. I had bumped the desk a number of times and I am surprised only one had decided to hide itself. Once again under the desk, but I don’t see it. Standing up, thinking I would grab a beer, I began to walk over to the fridge. It is at this time I feel something drop down the back of my pants and continue down the right leg lodging itself in my shoe. I had been wearing a heavy shirt, so when I had bumped the desk while picking up the tips, the dart must have rolled onto my back and gotten lodged between my shirt and pants. When I stood up and began to walk I made my discovery.
Tips changed it is time to clean the barrel of the dart. The barrel is the portion of the dart that the thrower holds. Most barrels have a ridged area that allows more friction so the dart does not slip from the fingers. During dart play oil from the fingers, food particles from any snack being eaten, and spilled beer can begin to clog the ridges. To clean the dirt from this area a toothbrush and some rubbing alcohol does the job nicely. Dip the brush in the bottle and then lightly brush the barrel and the dirt is gone. A clean rag to wipe off the rubbing alcohol and then the next dart. You the reader are probably waiting for the understandable mishap.
If you have seen ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ then think about the scene in the bar. Indiana has his head held to the bar and a stream of flaming liquid is speeding to his doom. Well, I had my own reenactment. Removing the toothbrush form the bottle I managed to knock it over. This would be bad enough but my most moronic move was to have a lit candle on the desk. A large whoosh erupts and a trail of burning liquid races across the desktop and begins to drip off the end. God must surely have been looking over my shoulder for first I did not catch on fire, and a small waste can was positioned so that the flaming drips drained into it. Now the papers in the can were much easier to deal with than a scorched carpet. A large book over the can extinguished the fire and rapid beating on the desk killed the rest of the fire.
No burns, no damage, just a heart pounding as if I had run a mile and a bad smell from the smoldering paper. Oh, and yes I managed to once again dump the tips from my dart case back on the floor and a dart seems to be missing. Somehow, I don’t have that mental calmness and centered focus for throwing my darts that often follows my dart cleaning ritual. There is always the music and beer.
May Your Darts Always Stick,
Dave