Evergreen Love
I have taken the following incidents from my life. Its easier to speak about myself, rather than, someone else.
My parents decided to build our own house when i was in 7th standard. At that time, we were staying in a rented house in chamrajpet. Dad wanted to pool in all his life's savings into the house and also apply for home loan. Dad came from a village background, he worked hard to make a life in bangalore. So, when the idea of building a house came up, he knew that he did not have enuf to build a nice cozy home.
Well, the house got completed, when i was in 8th standard. In anticipation of the house, i changed my school to one that was close to my house. It took all of dad's savings, housing loan and loan from his friends to get the house up. We were always a well provided family, we were not rich, but we were adequately provided for. A Big Dairy Milk every day should make you understand, how i was brought-up (i was at the dentist's place quite often for this). After the house was built, we went into a bit of money saving mode. My parent's tried hard to conceal this from me .. but, i was always listening to things and it did not take me much to understand the problems.
Nothing changed at home. Everything seemed to be normal. But, i knew how hard it was for my parents to keep it so. I used to wear Black Leather shoes to school. One day, i noticed a hole in the sole of that shoe. In normal circumstances, i would have gone ahead and reported it to dad and would have a new shoe by the next day. But, somehow, i did not feel like adding to my dad's problems. I took the front cardboard from a notebook and folded it in such a way that, it would fit into my shoe, i used that as a fake sole, which provided padding from the hole. And this was how, i carried on for the next few months. Always replacing the cardboard, when it started showing signs of tear and wear. The hole in the sole, became so big that it was visible (if one looked keenly at my shoes) when i walked. I dunno if any of my classmates thought it odd or not. But, i used to feel uncomfortable. I used to take small tentative steps, when i was around with my friends. But, i was always happy that i was not adding to my parent's problems.
Well, the day did come, when my parents noticed the hole. By that time, the hole had taken up half of my sole. I got nice blastings. Dad told me "why did u not tell us that your shoe had a hole? if something had gone in your foot, you know how much problem it would have been? what if you had stepped on a glass piece and it had infected your foot? did we ever say that, we will not buy you new shoes?" To be honest, i had not thought of all those things. I did not want to tell dad that i was trying to help them. Even though, i got the blastings, i was happy that the cardboard had served its purpose for many months. By the way, i did get a new shoe after that. There are quite a few incidents at that phase of my life, where we tried to get through without spending much bucks.
I am not trying to tell, how good i was at that time. More clearly, i would like to draw attention to my dad's words. Things were going wrong at that time, but never did my parent's try to expose me to it. Even at the worst scenarios, they always shielded me. They tried to keep me out of harm's reach.
Well, i am quite old now to be called an adult. When i think back about those times, i can understand my parent's struggle and their Love towards me. Just a few years back, i was trying my hardest to get away from that Love. Ohhh ... do believe me, when i say this. I thought, my parents could never understand me. I had stopped talking to them on a regular basis, conversations were limited to only 'yes' and 'no' from my side. I saw my mom crying many-a-times, and did not care about it. The worst part was, i was considering them as third party people. I thought they were from the older generation and held them accountable for all i was. Through out this period, my parents never scolded me. They tried to point out my mistakes, but, i was never ready to listen.
One fine day, i realized my mistakes. I called home (i was outside and just couldn't control myself) and mom picked up the phone. I said, i was sorry for all that i had done. My mom replied "No son, you never made any mistake. It is ok ... we never were angry on you. don't say all those things". By this time, i had started to weep. Hearing this, mom became anxious and said "where r u, my son? what's wrong? come back home ... we love you a lot, come back home". These words got imprinted onto my mind from that day. I felt so much happiness that day, even the sun's brilliance would have faded in front of my happiness. All this happened about two years back.
Our parents always try to give us the best. But, somewhere along the way, we mistake them and think that they are trying to manipulate us. We try to punish them for our own mistakes. I have come across many people with such sentiments. We forget the kind of hardships that our parents undergo to make us the best.
I hear a lot of complaints from people that their parents don't understand them, parents can't think like their children and such. Let me put it this way, can anyone count the amount of time that our parents have invested in us? How much time would they have invested im making us understand simple things, when we were kids? Y should it be different, when we are trying to make them understand something? Even our parent's need time and guidance to understand somethings. We have to spend that much time to make it possible.
There are cases, when they may not be able to understand your point of reasoning. As usual, you have the choice of putting more effort or trying to understand their view. We are in such a fast life, that we expect our parents to submit to us, as soon as we say something. But, what we are forgetting is that the Love that holds the bond, can sometimes weaken because of our foolishness. I have seen people aged 40 - 50 years understand their mistakes towards their parents and repent for it. I have seen people incapable of speech, because they didn't express their feelings to their parents (before they died).
Do we need so much time to understand our mistakes? Can't we see the love and affection that always flows our way?
I wrote this in hope of making people aware of that precious Love that we seem to forget with time. In recent times, i have encountered quite a few people of such nature. Some of them understood, wat they were missing and made up for it. I am really happy when that happens.
There are many people involved in bringing me to my senses. I would like to thank everyone of them for making that difference in my life. I would also like to thank Landmark Education, which provided my first break-through into my inner-self. Recently, one of my friend's made a very sarcastic comment as to how an organization can teach you something like this. All i have to say is, sometimes we do need the right kind of guidance. I am a living example of it.