12 Turner

2009: Arrival

Lois and I arrived at the Macleay Street townhouse on 12 June, on a day of heavy fog and 4 degree maximum, with Gregory and I helping Lois leave the property up the rear steps, and a number of things uncertain. The number one issue of course was her health. But the farm had not by then been sold. When we moved from Melba to Kingston during the 1996 Howard property slump we bought first and found it took six months for the Melba house to sell, meaning I had mortgages on two properties. We did the same moving to the farm, but then we expected the Kingston apartment to sell easily, which it did.

But farm properties were different and I was not prepared to buy until the farm was sold. Every farm is a lot different and buyers, like us in 2000, will look at many properties before they find one which suits their needs. We got close to a sale in April, but this was falling through and we had to move anyway to get assistance for Lois. The farm had been put on the market in November 2008, but then I suffered the embarrassment of the bore, which was a main feature, going dry. I had to spend $15K to drill a new one on the spot and fit it out and then ran foul of the state government. I had been advised by the driller one could drill deeper on the same site within the existing licence. But that advice was wrong. I was excused by the NSW government but had done the wrong thing and was heavily wrapped over the knuckles.

Added to this Lois was pushing for a knee replacement, and a surgeon was prepared to do it, as it had been damaged in a ballet fall, a physical injury, when Lois was young, and now causing a severe mobility problem.

We had to move here for Lois' care, meaning that with the house not sold, we had to rent. The townhouse was excellent for its purpose. Just two bedrooms, nice living area between them, good kitchen with gas and a really pleasant courtyard outside.

And the government help system was excellent. Helpers could come in when needed under various packages available. I had always been under the impression that there was not much help at all. Also there is access to 65 respite nights a year in a nursing home when the spouse is away on business. The nursing homes were also excellent, much better than I was led to believe although I know there are morbid ones, one of which I inspected. All those where Lois stayed were modern, with excellent facilities and great staff.

Just before going into hospital for surgery Lois is seen at Gregory's house celebrating Nakita's birthday.

2009: Knee surgery

I guess the main immediate health issue was the knee surgery. Orthopedic surgeon Paul Miniter operated on Lois in September, but found an infection, the only time he had ever found one, apparently. There followed a period of weeks, in fact months, while tests and treatment were applied. During this period I was away briefly in Spain to meet a plenary speaking invitation at an interesting conference looking at the success of Chinese students in mathematics. Eventually the infection was cleared and in December the operation took place. Rehab was difficult. I will continue the health discussion below.

2009: Farm is sold

Together with this though it looked as though the farm was sold. The sale sign is seen above, in late October. I was not prepared to purchase until the contract was signed and the money in the bank but I was doing a lot of research, particularly in this region where Lois wanted to be. Because the townhouse was much smaller than the farm I had had to rent quite a large garage to house surplus assets which were essentially unsorted, and in addition to this there were to have been four moving days involving professional removalists, including to and from the garage, and massive amounts of packing and later unpacking as a result of what was a very complicated manoeuvre.

Houses in Turner, and in fact anywhere in the inner north, were either unduly expensive, if nice, due to their location, or suitability as knockdowns, more in the redevelopment zone, so to buy here was likely to be limited to apartments. I discovered there were a few nice apartment blocks, sometimes with three bedrooms and good sizes, which were affordable. In the process of researching I became well known to most real estate agents who patrolled the area, probably convinced them I was a good prospect, so was well placed in the queue.

I had been able to take Lois on a couple of inspections so knew what was acceptable, and an excellent one which I had fore-warning about came up. When I arranged an inspection I discovered there was competition still from two others. One dropped out when it came to the crunch and the other was apparently difficult. The agent then called me explaining this and offered to do a deal with me and we did so, final agreement taking place on the phone on 21 December during the farewell function for long serving AMT staff member Jessica O'Ferrall. We now had clarity on this, although would not be able to move in until May 2010. The landlord at Macleay Street was happy for us to stay that long (I think we could have stayed forever), so we were OK.

2009: Back to health issues

In December, Lois did not recover well from the operation. On Christmas Eve I was called to a meeting of the supervising doctor, chief nurse, physiotherapist, occupational therapist and social worker. I was told the hospital had duty of care and that they could not release a patient in condition as bad as Lois' to home. I was prepared for the fact that in the New Year we would be arranging for a nursing home for permanent living.

On Christmas Day they did let me take her home for Christmas lunch. I roasted a traditional roll of pork which had been our normal Christmas fare in the recent years since children had definitely left home and we had been by ourselves.

2010: Discharge

In the first week of January I was told by the hospital that Lois would be discharged and sent home. I questioned this in view of the Christmas Eve meeting. They said they would demonstrate this by bringing her home to explain. They brought her home, wheeled her in but nothing happened. The physio and occupational therapist basically came in looked around and said everything seemed to be there.

I was not happy that this was thorough enough and was finding this in contrast to the spirit of the Christmas Eve meeting, so I objected. The hospital accepted my point and arranged a second visit. This time we went through everything that Lois might want to do or things which could be done with a carer arriving. They worked out the best place for her to sit, how to turn on the kettle and make tea, go to the toilet, etc. Lois performed well on all counts and I felt very comfortable. Lois had obviously improved sufficiently and the hospital had obviously satisfied themselves that she would be OK and I was very happy that she would be OK, could come home, and the arrangements practical. And to work through how the various details would pan out.

From that time, from January 2010 until April 2011, there was a relative golden 15-month period in which Lois' condition remained basically stable and she retained independence of movement, albeit with the help of equipment. She was also regularly seeing a physiotherapist who was helping her, as well as doctors and other paramedical people such as podiatrists, speech therapists and dietary experts. I had a busy work schedule which I was able to manage. On two occasions during that period I felt confident that I could leave home for three nights in a row, setting everything up food-wise, etc, and that the carers would have proper access. On both occasions, one when I was as far away as New Zealand, and the other in Perth and Adelaide, I returned to find the house even cleaner than when I left, which was Lois' way of showing she was OK.

2010: Hein Family Reunion

I haven't mentioned much on ancestry beyond grandparents in these memoirs. However my grandfather Les Boys was grandson of German immigrants Emil Boehm and Christine Hein, who had settled in Mount Gambier in the 1850s. We had done a lot of research on their German origins and discovered Christine Hein's brother Julius had also settled there and had many descendants who had occasional reunions which involved lectures on family history, entertainment (there are some very talented descendants) and visits to family historical sites. In August 2009 I had visited the Hamburg church archive and in a Eureka moment found Julius' birth record as Christine's brother and as a result Susan and I, with Lois and Tony, were invited and attended. In several visits to Hamburg before and later I had built up a lot of knowledge on this German ancestry. I gave a lecture on my research on German roots while Susan also gave one more focused on Christine Hein descendants in Australia. The photo below shows the gathering of Hein descendants at the Mount Gambier Glenburnie Racecourse, a venue which I am sure was well known to my grandfather and his brother Theo ("Chummy"), who were both horse racing followers.

2010: Move to Apartment

On 30 May 2010 we moved away from the Townhouse to the new apartment we now owned nearby. This was a good day. The facilities were good. The ensuite bathroom had fantastic disabled access, no doors, plenty of space and there is no reason why all places cannot be built the same way. They are no more expensive to build and look more aesthetic anyway.

2010: Maya arrives

In May 2010 also Stephanie gave birth to Maya, meaning we now had two granddaughters in Adelaide to match the three in Canberra.

I was able to drive Lois to Adelaide in June to see her.

2011: My mother passes away

My mother was one of nine cousins and she said she was the only one to get really past the age of 70. But she had been somewhat of an exception and when she turned 80 a magnificent party was held in the functions room of her beloved Adelaide Oval, where we had arranged to have the words "Betty Taylor 80 Not out" displayed on the famous scoreboard, as shown below, with Benjamin, Stephanie and I also present.

But just three years later, Alzheimers had definitely set in, making her a danger to herself to live independently. Susan had had incredible trouble talking her into a nursing home, even though there was no real choice, but with John's assistance, the difficult move had taken place in 2005. For about three years she recognised us, and in the early times for instance I was able to take her to her favourite fish restaurant. She had even been able to go to Stephanie's wedding in March 2006, but that was the last time she attended a family function. For the last three years visits had been meaningless in that she had become decreasingly able to recognise us. In June 2011 she went into a coma and died about a week later at the age of 88.

Susan had been booked for a long overseas holiday starting the day after Mum died, and she was able to go. I was only too happy to be able to go over and do a lot of things which were useful, such as tidying up various financial affairs, sorting out the will with the lawyer (who was in my class at school), etc, still very small compared with what Susan and John had gone through. She was cremated a week or two later and when Susan returned in August we conducted a family memorial service at a Centennial Park Chapel, in which I, Susan and John each gave eulogies.

2011 and 2012: Benjamin and Sarah

While living in New York, Benjamin had met Sarah Gill, a Bloomberg reporter who had originally come from Charlotte, NC, and they had decided to marry. Sarah had come to Australia for a visit and we were delighted to meet her and welcome her into our family. Because Lois could not travel it was difficult to hold a wedding where all parents could attend.

In any case a neutral country was chosen, and in September 2011 Ben and Sarah married on a glacier at the top of the Southern Alps, near Mt Cook, NZ. We were not there but it was a very happy occasion. A reception was held in Charlotte in December for Sarah's family and they came to Canberra in March 2012 for a reception at the Boathouse on Lake Burley Griffin. It was to be the last large happy occasion for Lois, and a lot of our family arrived from Melbourne (Lois' sister June), Adelaide and Cairns in particular.

Cutting the cake.

Sarah, Ben, Lois, Peter.

Ben and Sarah with Greg's family. From left Ben, Greg, Nicki, Imogen, Phoebe, Sarah, and in front Nakita, Alyssa, Kaylana.

Lois' sister June from Melbourne (right) and niece Dianne from Cairns (centre) stayed for a few days.

Others came from Adelaide. Here, after arrival, from left brother John, sister Susan, John's wife Jane, Ben, Sarah, and John's and Jane's younger daughters Zoe and Rachel.

There was also a barbecue beside Lake Burley Griffen for lunch the following day. Here are Rose, Steve, Jasmine, Stephanie, Maya and Iris. Rose and Iris are grand daughters of Susan.

2011 and 2012: Towards the end

In April 2011 Lois reported difficulty with her right knee and started to suffer a decline in mobility. She claimed it to be due to an incident and therefore muscular, but doctors via tests could not confirm this. In any case through to June 2012 (when I drove her to Sydney to see an orthopaedic surgeon there) she was still asking for a right knee replacement. The surgeons refused to operate on the grounds that the weakness was due to neurological reasons and they could not help.

There were increasing mobility difficulties. Before Christmas in 2011 there was a major setback in mobility and in January 2012 her ACAT level was upgraded to high. This allowed extra hours of help, but also meant she could no longer have respite at St Andrews, in Hughes, which she liked, because it did not deal with high level on a respite basis, but it did mean she could return to the closer and very good Goodwin facility at Ainslie, which by now only dealt with high level.

In May 2012 Debbie Douglas, a physio who had treated her when earlier working at the hospital where Lois had the knee operation, accepted her as a patient and she had swimming therapy, which she enjoyed, despite her normal dislike for water. Through 2012 Lois had become a member of the Painting with Parkinsons Program, which she enjoyed very much. She also was active with her computer, playing in internet scrabble competitions, in which I believe she became very strong, and sometimes boasted of high scores.

In July 2012 I attended ICME-12 in Seoul, South Korea, was away for just over a week and Lois stayed at Goodwin Ainslie nursing home in respite. On 19 July I returned in the evening. I discharged her the following morning at the usual time of 1000 and assumed I was driving her home. When she realised this she insisted on going to the Painting with Parkinson session instead.

On the Saturday she seemed normal, and ate a hearty meal of the camp stew which I sometimes prepared on the Saturday evenings, based on a recipe Lois had put together when the family first went camping together in 1986 at a site in Tumut, and which I had studied closely. Whereas Lois suffered increasingly severe mobility problems based on knee problems, and developed increasingly severe speech impediments, she was always able to feed herself easily with her hands, and she had full mental capacity, administering herself a complex range of medications, which hospitals had not been able manage properly themselves. Until now her appetite was unaffected. She always ate plenty of food, including large quantities of steamed vegetables. I needed help for some things like showering and dressing but I never needed cooking help, in fact I always enjoyed cooking.

Sunday however was a dreadfully demoralising day. She was listless, wouldn't eat and now seemed to have lost all mobility. All of these things were really new. I ended the day wondering what would happen the following morning when Rosalie, one of her regular frequent carers from Uniting Church, would turn up, as we had reached a new point which I could not normally handle.

Rosalie arrived on the next (Monday) morning. Lois was administering her medications as usual, but realised the problem and asked if I could get the GP to visit, which he was prepared to do at lunch time. Rosalie had no more success than me and suggested that we were going to have to get her to hospital. This became urgent when Lois went in to deep breathing on her back. I called the ambulance but Lois had passed away just before their arrival.

I felt for Rosalie having been caught in this. The ambulance officers waited for the police, who in turn waited for the GP and for the first of the three children, Gregory, who was at the coast, to arrive. All three children had arrived in turn by later in the day, Ben from Sydney and Steph from Adelaide.

What happened during the week was presumably what any family does immediately after bereavement, grieving, bonding and making funeral arrangements. The graveside burial took place on the Friday morning at Gungahlin Cemetery and this was followed by a memorial service attended by at least 150 people at University House at the Australian National University. I gave a eulogy, and as a sign of unity each of the children did also, in order of age. I was very proud of all their performances, and the work they had done in preparation of displays etc for the guests.

At times like this thoughts are too complex to describe. They also change strongly, from the time of death, to the week following as it unfolds, and I must say at the time of writing this many months and years later as you cast your mind back. Most of the thoughts are obvious, and do not need to be described, but after this long and punishing illness, with great uncertainty all along, there was some sense of relief and closure, that Lois did not need to endure this suffering any more. One of the more relieving aspects was that we would not need to expose her to admission to a nursing home, which is what she feared most, and would have been at least as difficult as my mother if the time had been necessitated.

Underlying all this was the courage which Lois had shown. No one knows how they will react when they are placed in a difficult position. Although Lois was never told her condition was terminal, and no one knew exactly how it would pan out, it was obvious to all, including her, that her condition was degenerate, and whereas we tried every option we knew of, nothing was going to reverse this. In the circumstances, Lois showed incredible fortitude and remained optimistic, at least that was how I felt it, and she had fantastic love for her children, children in law and granddaughters, and always carried herself gracefully through all her difficulties.

2012: AMSI Distinguished Service Award

On 28 June I went to Melbourne to attend a special function to celebrate the 10th anniversary of AMSI. Unbeknown to me in advance it was also used to award seven of the founding members for their service. I felt very honoured to be one of those to be presented an AMSI Distinguished Service Award by AMSI Chair Professor Ron Sandland. The AMSI web-site has a citation here.

2012: Retirement

As had been long arranged, I was to retire at the end of 2012. A successor had been found and it was now up to me to ensure that the change in management would be smooth. Much to my surprise, however the retirement triggered a string of pleasant events and honours.

At first there were several surprises in Asia. I am not sure how much Jan Collins put my various hosts up to this, but at all my destinations something special seemed to happen. The first one, in Manila, was remarkable, with a special tribute half hour being held after the main presentation.

During this tribute there seemed to be a special song for the occasion which my friends, including Simon Chua in the centre (above) are singing, in karaoke style, interviews with students studying overseas saying they had been inspired to higher study by my visits, speeches by local school principals, etc. It was certainly one of the most pleasantly emotional experiences I had ever felt, probably the most pleasant of my life, especially as it was totally unexpected.

In this function I was also presented with this beautiful model of a filipino boat and framed certificate.

While in Jakarta for my final AMC ceremony there I was presented with this watercolour of myself with Indonesian colleague and friend Ridwan Saputra.

In Kuala Lumpur I was presented with this plaque.

In Wellington I was presented with this glass koru statue, maori canoe and scroll, by New Zealand's Minister of Education, Hon Hekia Parata in Parliament House.

With the Minister and Medallists.

Then there were two official functions in Canberra. The first was a dinner at University of Canberra Vice Chancellor Stephen Parker's home, at which all my children were present, in which Stephen announced I would be an Emeritus Professor, and then a more informal affair attended by staff and volunteers, including a number of former staff.

Professor Stephen Parker AO, UC Vice Chancellor, makes his speech upon my retirement at the function he held at his home. (Board chairman Greg Taylor AO can just be seen at left.)

I was also presented at the function with this plaque from the Australian Association of Mathematics Teachers by CEO Will Morony.

At the special function for staff and volunteers, I was very happy that Leone Paget (left), David's widow, made the special visit from Hobart, while Peter O'Halloran's widow Marjorie also attended.

And I was wrapped in the attendance of fantastic staff, past and present, some of whom I had not expected nor seen for many years. From left are Jan Lynch (former assistant in my office, a quiet place often referred to by other staffers by insincere names such as cow corner), Ross McLean (former office building manager, fantastically sincere and decent man who also attended Lois' funeral), Suzanne Fraser (former Manager and still AMT Accountant), Elizabeth Courtney-Frost (in recent years my very capable PA), Sue Paice (had been an IT programmer for a long time and had done a lot of work on my research), Sally Bakker (first staff member, started in 1978 and long term manager, who established successful staff culture, still Deputy Chair of AMF), Renzo Gobbin (former IT Manager, who had worked with me before in the University and later returned there), Irene Lumley (fairly new in historical terms as logistics manager), Richard Bollard (long term staff member, only surviving one who dates back to Peter O'Halloran era), Lilani Kiridani (finance officer), Toni Paine (long term IT programmer), Peter Taylor, Donna Priol (replaced Jan Lynch in Executive Director office), Heather Sommariva (graphic designer, very loyal long term staffer, maybe second longest record to Richard), Fiona Hale (current, very new PA), Jan Collins (Brisbanite manager over the last two or three years, who obviously had a lot to do with the setting up of minute detail of my retirement and since herself retired to live in Tasmania), Bernadette Webster (does a lot of things in office but is best known as a mathematician and proof reader with great detail), Sharon Blyton (finance officer over a long period of time) and Mary Blink (who I thought retired but re-appears regularly in the office doing all sorts of things).

There were, of course former key staffers who had good reason not to be there, because of distance etc. Clarice McLean was my PA during most of my term and much of Peter O'Halloran's but had by then returned to Victoria, from where she had come and to where all her children had now gone, and also Anne Barnet, who was the second Manager, replacing Sally Bakker, had also moved to Victoria.

At this function with the two Chairmen of the AMT Board who I worked under, at left Don Aitkin AO (Chair 1992 to 2004) and Greg Taylor AO (Chair 2004 to present).

I was presented with this caricature, excellently worked by Gold Coast artist Phil Spratt.

Another most appreciated gesture is a photographic portrait taken of me by Canberra's leading portrait photographer Heidi Smith, and this hangs now somewhere in the Trust's office, image shown below.

For life after retirement please now move to Chapter 18.