It is summer; most of the lawns in my small neighborhood are still as bright and green as the spring flowers. Light pink flowers grow in front of the neatly painted fence surrounding my one-story, white brick house. I am in front of my pretty white cedar dresser, getting ready for my doctor’s appointment. As I brush my blonde hair, a large clump of hair falls onto the floor between the dresser and me. I push the panicky thought of cancer out of my head.
“God wouldn’t do that, we just moved here… He wouldn’t give me cancer, why would he do that?!” I think to myself.
I pick up the hair ball and toss it into the trash can.
“Ray-ray, are you ready to go?” asks Mom as she peeks her head into my room.
“Yes ma’am… uh, Mom? I think I might be sick with something…”
“Really? Are you still up to going to the doctor? What is wrong?”
“I think I have cancer…”
“Oh Rachel, you’re being silly; don’t be scared of things like that… what makes you think you have cancer?”
“Well, I was just brushing my hair and a whole clump of it came out, I’m just a little scared.”
“Sweetie, we lose lots of hair every day, and you are a very healthy young lady.”
I force a smile as I follow her out the door, but I see a small frown cross her face as she locks the front door behind her.
I get in the car shivering… trying to read Mom’s mind, trying to see what is going on inside that smart brain.
As we arrive at the doctor’s office I suddenly feel shy, like a little toddler meeting his new babysitter. We walk into the waiting room and Mom goes to check-in. I grasp little Jacob’s small hand and we go to find a seat.
“Rachel, they are ready for you now.” Mom calls to me.
I pick up Jacob gently and carry him over to Mom.
“Just do what they tell you to, and you will be fine…I know you’re nervous, Rachel, but everything is okay.”
I nod and follow the Indian-looking woman through the double doors and into a hallway.
“Now, first I am going to weigh you, so step up here on this scale.”
I give a shaky smile and step onto the scale and watch the arrow soar up the scale.
“Perfect, just perfect...” I hear the lady say.
She leads me into a small room and tells me to wait for the doctor. She shuts the door and I say a quick prayer as the doctor instantly walks in.
“Hello, Honey, I’m Dr. Brewer, can you put this on please?”
He shoves a blue medical bib into my fidgety hands. I buckle it around my neck and sit up.
“Now, you stay right here while I get something, alright?”
I nod again, and wish that my mom were in here with me to encourage me and so that I wouldn’t feel so alone.
The doctor comes in with a stethoscope and listens to my heart.
“You have a great heart, Girly! I’m going to get the illness doctor because I think I feel a little something on your stomach.”
My heart skips a beat and my mind starts racing, as I feel my heart start thumping inside my chest.
“It’s cancer! I know it; I bet that’s what it is!”
A smiley doctor strides into the room looking at a clip board.
“Hey, Sweetie! I talked to your mom and she gave me permission to give you an x-ray, just to be safe.”
I get up and follow him into an even smaller room with many machines and such.
“Step on this platform, and I’ll getcha x-rayed, okay?”
“That’s fine.” I croak as the doctor goes into a closet with a window and starts pushing buttons and turning knobs. A red line appears on the body screen in front of me. The line starts buzzing and moving down the screen, scanning me for cancer.
I see a small frown cross the doctor’s face as the red line stops, turns around on the screen and starts bouncing up and down in one particular spot.
“Okay… uh, let me go get your mom and we will see your scores!”
The doctor tries to sound care-free and normal, but he isn’t very good at acting.
My mom rushes in with a worried expression on her kind face.
“Mom, what’s going on? What did the doctor say?”
“Sweetie, I’m so sorry, Baby, I really am.” She replies tearfully.
“Sorry for what? Mom, please answer me. Why are you crying so hard?”
I already know the answer, but I am hoping that I am wrong.
“Honey, I am so sorry, you were right. The doctor says you have a cancerous growth in your stomach.”
I can see her biting her lip to stop from crying. I am in too much shock to cry. But I soon cry out as the news sinks in. My eyes go blurry, but I can just make out my mom darting to hold me.
My eyes open lazily and I see a nurse peering over the edge of a hospital bed at me. Her eyes widen and she lets out a little squeak of joy, and bustles out of the room into the white hallway. My mom soon comes rushing in and plops into the chair beside my bed. Happy tears swell up in her eyes as she stares at me. It’s like I’m an actress that she has been waiting to see for a very long time, staring at me at a loss of words, crying of happiness.
“Mom, are you OK?” I ask nervously as I try to sit up.
“Oh no you don’t Rachel.” Says the nurse as she pushes my shoulder back onto the pillow and holds me there.
“I can lie on my bed by myself, thanks.” I say, annoyed.
The lady gives me a “Don’t you dare talk to me like that” look and sits down in her little chair in the corner.
I turn my head back to Mom and see that she is giggling and coughing in her chair.
“Mom, what time is it right now?”
Her face suddenly turns stern “It is 4:21 pm.”
“That means we have been here for a whole day!” I think to myself.
I sit up again and the nurse doesn’t do anything but snort this time. I see that my little brother Jacob is there with my mom, too.
“Hey, Buddy.” I say gently to him.
“You are sick, Rachel… that’s very bad, you know.”
I smile and nod at the big green eyes staring up at me. I turn to my mom.
“May I have some water?”
Mom quickly nods and snaps three times at the nurse who jumps up and runs out of the room.
“We have a special little language because we thought talking might have woken you up, so we just used that.” She says when she sees my confused expression.
The doctor enters once again beaming at me. I squirm uncomfortably as he walks up to the side of my bed and starts to push my stomach in different places.
“Well, Sugar, that surgery did you well, but let me just give you one more cat-scan and then we will see how everything is! Okay with you?”
“Yes, that will be fine, but will you excuse us for a moment, please… I have something to talk about.” My mom answers for me.
The doctor nods, turns and glides out of the sunny room.
“Mom, what was he talking about when he said “that surgery”?”
“We decided that while you were out of it, we would give you the surgery… the surgery was to try and get the cancer out of your stomach.”
“And it worked? The doctor said that it worked, is that true?”
“I think so, but he is going to make sure by giving you another cat-scan okay?”
I nod as the doctor comes in again and starts to whisper to the nurse in the corner. After awhile, she nods and stands up, and starts wheeling my bed into the familiar room, the room where I learned my feared fate.
Together, my mom and the nurse lift my out of the bed and hold me steady as I try to catch my balance.
I nod to say I can stand on my own, and then I slowly start to take the few steps to the machine.
I hold on tight to the handle next to the screen as I pull my weak self onto the platform.
The doctor gives me thumbs up and starts yet again to switch and turn buttons. The sensation is way too familiar as the red line starts to move down the screen. A wave of relief comes over me as the line goes straight past the spot that once had a cancer growth.
The doctor comes out beaming and holds out the clip board for my mom to see. She smiles and hugs me.
“It is very fortunate that we found the cancer now, or it might have had time to spread.” He turns to my mom, “I think it would be best if she stays here for another week or so, just to make sure the cancer doesn’t decide to come back. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes that is fine, thank you doctor.”
We walk back to my room and I feel relieved as I sit on the side of my bed.
“Hey Mom,” I say, “May I have some alone time to think things over?”
“Of course, Honey.” She turns and walks to the doorway, and then she stops, “Dad’s coming tomorrow morning to see you!”
I smile but wish she would go. It’s almost like she practically reads my mind, because she then turns and strides out of the room.
“Dear God, thank you for bringing me through this, please bless Mom and Dad and little Jacob for me… I love you and know that I would not be here if it were not for you Jesus.”
I pray and pray thanks and suddenly feel like a weight has lifted in my heart as I look up and see my dad and mom hugging in the hall.
“Dad, you came early!” I exclaim as I walk as quickly as my weak body will allow me.
“That’s my girl, getting’ cancer and pushin’ through it. Have you thanked your big daddy up there?” He points to the ceiling.
I laugh and nod as I hear Jacob start screaming.
“No, let me go, I wanna see my sista’ and my daddy! You let me go!”
I laugh and laugh as my daddy goes to retrieve Jacob.
“You really were amazing, Honey, I’m so proud of you.” Mom reaches over and pulls me into a tight hug.
“Ow, Mom I love you, but that really hurts me.”
“Oh, sorry, I keep thinking you are perfectly okay.”
I smile and go to see little Jacob and I wonder if “my big daddy up there” is laughing at my silly family.
Dad comes over to me and gives me a gentle hug.
“I’m really proud of you, Ladybug, you are just like my daughter, and you look a little like her, too! Her name is Rachel, what is yours?”
“My name is Rachel, too… actually I am the Rachel.”
He smiles and gives me another hug as Mom comes over holding Jacob on her hip. She Smiles at me in that familiar, loving way. I smile back and go to take Jacob from her.
“We need to ask the doctor if we can take you to get ice cream…”
I put down Jacob and grasp his hand tightly and we skip alongside Mom.
“You kids stay here, he doesn’t like too many people in his office.”
I take Jacob over to a bench in the hallway and plop him onto my lap so that he is facing me.
“Hey, Buddy, I’m all better now…”
“You are?!” The little boy sounds amazed that it even possible for one to get better from cancer.
“Yep, and now we can play when we get home, again.”
The little face lights up as the familiar green eyes stare up and me smiling, sparkling.
Mom and Dad come out of the doctor’s office beaming.
“I’m guessing we can go?” I laugh as my dad does the victory dance we made up when I was four.
“Yep, we are goin’ to Yotinni’s!”
I smile as we pile into our car and my mom turns on country music.
“Turn it up, turn it up, Mommy!” Jacob pipes up from beside me in the back seat.
I laugh as my dad starts dancing.
I know God is laughing at my wonderful, amazing family.
I say a quick prayer of thanks,
“Thanks for the awesome family, Daddy!”
It’s good to be home.