#METOO

It has been a long time since I blogged. Something has just welled up in me with the confluence of many streams of thought within the Womens movement and with Women in our society. It is now going global and it is not going away.

It is long past time that males in our society come to a reckoning. We, of all stripes, statuses, and political affiliations have claimed male privilege for ourselves, for our fellow bad actors, for the religions, for our work places, and just because it is an integral part of our society that we don't or refuse to recognize. Its called MALE PRIVILEGE(MP).

We have all seen it in action. When MP gets challenged its cute. Some time ago there were a few examples of MANSPLAINING on a cable news show. It was a prime example of MP, but it was downgraded to funny or comedy and not taken seriously by the men certainly and probably a lot of women also. Its because we are used to it, it is just the way it is, it is accepted, it was made out to be cute. Denigrating anyone in our society in public or private for their gender or ethnicity or any other reason of difference is unacceptable. We are better than this.

There is not a man alive that has not gone along with or been a perpetrator of MP. It comes out in Grammar School, In High School, in College, at parties, on the job, at the supermarket, in our media, on the television programs we watch. I have been unkind and downright denigrating to women when I did not get what I want right then and there. Yes, I am responsible for this and take this responsibility.

This for me happened not so much in High School but at the University. I can remember one incident of many probably that I perpetrated shame and blame on a woman that would not have sex after our date. She said "No". That is what she wanted to happen. We were doing some heavy kissing and petting and that was as far as she wanted to go on this date at this time. Of course, I had a goal, a means to an end. I had an idea of what I wanted in my head. My goal in my mind somehow superseded her needs or wants. All the male rationalizations came up for me; "if you did not want it you would not have come here", "you knew I wanted to have sex", "what did you expect if we came up to my room", etc, etc.

On top of this my College mates were listening in on the wall in the room next door and could be heard in muffled tones through the wall. It was a set up for this Woman, perpetrated by "guys just having fun", "locker room stuff", "boys will be boys",etc etc.

All of my thought process at the time, in the moment was SELF-CENTERED. I would not or did not allow myself to find her perspective or reality relevant. This is objectification of another person pure and simple. I lay this out not as an excuse or justification but as a moment that I failed as a Human Being to be equal, and treat another as equal. I became so SELF-CENTERED so self absorbed that I believed I deserved to have everything my way.

On a global scale this happens to women perpetrated mostly by men everyday all day. In all aspects of life, women are treated as second class citizens. They have been able to vote in this country for less than 100 years. They still make less than men in the workplace and still their health care and choices over their own bodies are regulated by men. There is a reason Viagra is covered by insurances and birth control isn't.

The heart of the #METOO campaign is not to get over on anyone, it is to be recognized as equal. It is to recognize the added pressure that harassment and stupid, poorly thought out words and deeds toward them add to their stress, are unwelcome in any venue, and must stop. They are our sisters, mothers, wives, daughters, and nieces. The relationships we have with women in any venue need to be treated like they are in these contexts.

I do not want to get off topic but in many ways this awakening by women comes on the heels of an awakening by the African American community. They are fed up with what has been going on for a long time and they aren't going to take it anymore. They are speaking up and out. They are demonstrably making the issue known. Some say that these movements and demonstrations are overboard or not needed. I am sorry but they are. Black fathers have to have a talk with their sons and daughters about being very careful around the police, especially if stopped. Mothers and other women have had to tell their younger compatriots in the workplace and other venues that 'boys will be boys and watch out for the attention you will get.' I have never had to have these discussions with my sons coming from a Caucasian, dominant culture perspective.

America, we can do better. We can treat others with respect and reverence for who they are and what they contribute to our lives and the lives of those around them. We can be just, fair and forgiving in how we treat our fellow human beings.