Chapter 30

Angie

Three years ago when Bartholomew Shipley, or Carter Bain as he was now calling himself, walked back into our lives, I wanted to make him pay for all his family had done.

I felt no empathy for the anguish he’d suffered. We’d all lost loved ones the day the canisters fell. Nor did I have a sense of sympathy for what he endured with not being able to hear. Em couldn’t see and my brother and I were dying, so his plight didn’t concern me. I also didn’t have any compassion for the way he devoted himself so single heartedly to my sister. Whatever the kid’s reasons were, I couldn’t have cared less.

Today would be no different. Or so I thought.

A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY

Safely ensconced in the cab of the truck I watched Carter give Stevron and I a thumbs up sign. Then he slowly and measurably began the trek to the fyre crawlers’ burrows.

The sun was higher in the sky. So bright that the reflection bouncing off the hard packed barren earth hurt my eyes. I refused to shut my lids completely, but I did allow myself to squint.

Carter took another ten steps.

Stevron raised the second pair of seeing glasses to his eyes.

“Any sign of movement?” I asked.

“Not yet.”

The heat in the cab rose and I started to sweat. I rubbed my hand above my upper lip and felt my fingers tremble. I pulled my hand away. I saw it had begun to shake.

There was no tap, tap, tapping going on in my head, but that didn’t give me any assurance. After what had happened earlier, I wasn’t confident Jake wouldn’t try and take advantage of my weakened state.

The suddenness of Stevron’s hand gripping mine startled me. I knew he could feel the slipperiness of my sweaty palm. His touch reminded me of our kiss. I wondered when he was going to mention it?

“They’re coming faster, harder, aren’t they?”

I exhaled a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to press me. I turned to look at him.

Stevron remained still.

I wet my lips. There was no use trying to argue. If it hadn’t been for Stevron I would have stepped over into the Far Beyond, not once but twice. I took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Stevron continued to look through the seeing glasses. He gripped my hand and then placed it against his thigh. He rubbed his fingertips over the back of my hand outlining the web of raised veins.

I glanced down at his larger hand resting on mine. Again I thought of the kiss. Of the strength combined with the softness of his lips. Of how he’d kissed me back, and how much I’d liked it.

“Do you have any idea why?”

I forced myself to concentrate on our conversation. “I’m not sure, but you’re right. The attacks are coming on much quicker. I have little time to prepare.”

Stevron was silent. I expected him to press me, but he didn’t.

The more he stroked my hand, the more I found his light touch comforting. I felt my heart rate begin to slow.

Another few moments passed. I turned my head and looked out the windshield. I could now only see Carter’s silhouette. It became smaller and smaller on the horizon.

“What usually triggers them? What makes you begin to panic?”

“Fear.”

Stevron lowered the seeing glasses. He looked to me.

“We all have fears, Angie. I’ve seen you in some pretty frightening situations. You’ve never once faltered.”

Stevron was right. I could pretty much deal with anything. Anything except…

Stevron put the seeing glasses back to his eyes. “Your attack earlier was different. Why?”

I closed my eyes and took a breath. I was surprised he could tell the difference. But Stevron was right again. Before today the reason for my panic attacks had always been the same. One reason and one reason alone. Fear for my family.

I opened my eyes. “Carter.”

Stevron took a deep breath and lowered the seeing glasses. “What about Carter?” When I didn’t say more, he pressed. “Angie, did Jake tell you Carter’s in danger?”

I didn’t want to talk about Jake or Carter for that matter.

Stevron squeezed my hand. “You can talk to me, Angie.”

I tried to swallow past the sudden lump forming in my throat. I still didn’t understand how Stevron knew about my younger brother. And how did he know that Jake had been warning me about Carter before trying to pull me through the portal?

I took a breath and my voice was shaky when I whispered. “He takes advantage of the effort it takes me to handle the panic attacks and keep my barriers up. The tiniest crack and he’ll open the portal.”

“What happens then?”

I dug my fingers into Stevron’s thigh. I’d never talked about what I’d experienced in the Far Beyond with anyone. I didn’t know if I could do so now.

I was silent a long time. Maybe a little too long.

“Okay,” Stevron sighed, “I won’t pressure you. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. Can you tell me though what Jake said about Carter?”

A tiny sense of relief filled me that Stevron was allowing me to skirt the issue of the Far Beyond. It allowed me the ability to swallow. “Just that Carter needed saving and something about it not being time.”

Stevron’s jaw tightened. He raised the seeing glasses back to his eyes. I waited for Stevron to offer up some response, but he didn’t.

“How’s Carter doing?” I inquired, frustration broiling inside me.

Stevron’s response took longer than necessary. It gave me cause to worry. “Still looking good,” he finally replied.

I squinted my eyes. “He’s almost out of sight. Will he be able to make it back?”

Stevron released a slow breath. “For everyone’s sake, I hope so.”

“Do I act differently when I’m gone? I’m sorry,” I paused. “I don’t know why I said that when I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s just that…”

Stevron’s hand twitched against mine. “You look the same, talk the same. Interact with everyone normally.”

“Then how did you know?” I inquired. “The other night, you confronted me about Jake. About Em and Jam. You asked me, ‘how many times have you allowed Jake to pull you over the threshold?’”

Stevron lowered the seeing glasses again. The silver swirls in his eyes heightened.

“You know I’m different, Angie.”

I nodded.

“Well because of that, there’s things…things that I can never reveal to you.”

My stomach dropped. Just when I was willing to open up to Stevron, he shuts me down. “So you’re not going to tell me? Or is it that you would just lie to me?”

Stevron shrugged.

Betrayal and anger rushed through me. “Then why should I tell you anything?”

Stevron shrugged again. “Because I sense you need to talk about it.”

I bristled at Stevron’s quick and very wrong assumption.

“There ain’t nothing to talk about.”

Stevron snorted. “If you say so.” He released my hand and put the seeing glasses back to his eyes once more. “Carter’s getting close. It shouldn’t be much longer.”

I removed my hand from Stevron’s thigh and leaned closer to the truck’s windshield. I felt suddenly dejected and very alone.

Why did he have to close me out? Did our kiss mean nothing?

“Dammit…Carter!” Stevron growled. “Move!”

My breath caught, all thoughts of Stevron fleeing my mind. My heart started to race. Carter! Jake? What’s happening?

“Something’s wrong!” Stevron shouted and shoved opened the truck’s door.

Instinctively, I did the same.

“No!” Stevron’s voice boomed. He grabbed my left arm. “Stay here. I won’t risk you getting hurt.”

I ripped my arm violently out of his grip. “This isn’t your choice.”

I was out of the truck and on the hard ground before Stevron could stop me. “Carter!” I shouted even though I knew he couldn’t hear me.

The side door of the truck opened. Dirk’s voice called. “What’s going on?”

“Stay in the truck!” Stevron hollered. “Protect the girl!”

“Carter? Where is he? Is he alright?”

I turned to Dirk. “Do what Stevron says. We’ll take care of Carter.”

‘Time, time, time to die.’ Jake’s voice screamed.

©Legend of the Sapphyre Wings by Janet Merritt