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Dealing with autism and fame
Lois Kuhle
“Parenting is a tough job for everyone, especially if you have a career that involves unusual time demands, such as performance and the arts” said Tim, having just returned from a film shoot in the Berg for ‘A Long Walk to Freedom’.
“Even more difficult is having a child with special needs, which is why I choose to focus on studio commercial voice work” he continued. “Neuro-typical kids reach an age when they become quite independent and self-sufficient. Communication is relatively uncomplicated and everyday interactions, including discipline, are fairly straightforward. But with autism, it is difficult to create a useful platform for bargaining or logical conditional parameters, as often, the child is so "wrapped up" in his own world, it’s difficult for him to imagine the world is there for any purpose other than his own needs.”
Often looped behaviours or spoken communications/vocalisations will invade one's space whilst trying to carry out daily demands of work and domestic life. Going anywhere, doing anything has to be carefully considered as to how easily Tim and Debi will be able to manage Michael in a particular context. Change is difficult for people on the autistic spectrum, however it is encouraging that Mikey is growing up in a household where the general routine is subject to random change, and he has been coping quite well.
The Wells family is blessed that Debi is a teacher at Tree Tops School, and with the strength of their 20 year marriage, they manage to hold it together.
“The album launch gig is up there with one of the happiest nights of my life,” beamed Tim. “The chemistry of the band, the camaraderie coupled with the history of our friendship created this capsule of elation. It was beyond our expectations, such a special night.”
A twist to this famous tale is that after a dynamic start to the year, with great adulation from the audience, including yours truly, Tim was faced with the veracity of home life. Tim, and his incredible wife Debi, face the daily challenge of dealing with a son who has autism. Michael is 8 years old with limited communication skills, and typically of autistic children, battles with social skills. A complete antithesis to Tim’s stage life. April was Autism Awareness Month - especially meaningful to a number of Hollywood's best-known names, with children affected by the neuro-developmental disorder. It hits families anonymous and famous, of modest means and enormous wealth, alike. At home, Ernie Els has been particularly open about his personal dealings with autism.
“I have a theatrical background, but I divorced myself from it when my family grew,” confessed Tim, who has occasionally been lured back onto the stage by local director Steven Stead. Earlier this year the Tim Wells Blues Band launched their debut CD at the Sneddon Theatre, called ‘Everything You Want’.
Oh dear, I am such a helpless groupie. Put me in a room with someone half famous and I turn into a star struck teenager. So, it was with enormous pleasure that I found myself in the company of Durban’s great music maestros at Andiamo’s Recording Studio in Mount Edgecombe. I had the great fortune of interviewing Peter Enslin, owner of the studio, Tim Wells and Marciano Monjane in April 2010, and since then have been following their illustrious careers.
To keep my sparkling brain focused I shall put Tim Wells in the spotlight for now. Frankly, I could listen to Tim talk all night. He has this beautiful eloquence. No wonder he belongs on the stage.
“Honestly though, nothing prepares one for the unique version of ASD that presents itself to one's own family. Thankfully, Debi has the patience of a saint and the
biggest heart I know so perseverance and sanity are not too out of grasping range as long as she is around” said Tim with enormous affection.
It is a scary road ahead, with a varied and unknown outcome. The brain is such an organic developing powerhouse, and an ever changing organism. Tim and Debi hope that one day Mikey is able to 'catch-up' in many aspects of development and
unlock his gifts (he has a startlingly gifted musical ear) and be able to live an independent and rewarding life.
INFORMATION BLOCK:
Parents of autistic children frequently have an awkward time in public. Before you judge a child’s ‘bad’ behaviour, consider that they may be dealing with autism.
Behaviour patterns can include:
Atypical eating habits *Social deficits such as lack of intuition and the inability to understand communication * Limited or no attention to social stimuli * Lower response to name or eye contact * Lack of social understanding and nonverbal communication * Difficulty in maintaining friendships * Show of aggression, destruction and tantrums * Language impairment * Unusual gestures and vocal patterns * Stereotype or purposeless movement *Compulsive behaviour * Limited focus and interest in any activity * Instances of self-injury *Under-responsiveness and over-responsiveness *Poor motor planning and muscle tone *Sleep problems like insomnia and nocturnal awakenings.
“We have seen enormous progress in Mikey's development, largely thanks to the amazing input of his excellent speech and OT therapists. He has a private tutor who home schools him, and they have regular visits to a Montessori school for interaction and activities” added Tim.
Debi's training, and over 20 years' experience in teaching, offers an understanding of how children differ, and an insight into the psychology of a young mind with special needs.
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