(1) “What is the learning here, about fostering listening to what is difficult to hear?”
· When someone offers a thought, leave space before answering. Often we are quick to respond with our own thoughts leaving the other person wondering if we even heard them.
· Do we truly understand what the other person is attempting to say or do we just think we do? Perhaps we are afraid to ask for clarity and appear “stupid” It is okay to check with the person who has offered the thought for clarity by saying.. “Is this what you mean?” and give your understanding of what the person is attempting to convey.
· To set up listening kaupapa from the beginning. What qualities are important to us when we listen. What are we doing when we are truly listening.
· To ensure all voices in the room are heard.
· If we find ourselves triggered by what someone has said, then take a breath. If we find it hard to be in the room, step out and get space. Self care. If we find ourselves wanting to be heard and its coming from a place of pain (reaction), seek empathy.
· Speak from the I rather than fro the group collective. We are all individuals.
· Looking for consensus from a whole group can often be challenging. Ask people – Is there anyone who cannot live with this. This way people really check into themselves. It’s a different quality of decision making.
· Remember we are in someone’s house. Check in with them. Our job is to be present, to consider, to be respectful, to speak our truth with kindness and gentleness and to be aware where people are at. To be present to ourselves and to others. To notice.
· To be willing to do the work within ourselves.
(2) “Drawing from your experience on fostering listening in challenging contexts, what is your response to hearing the challenges these five described?"
Firstly thank you to Laura, Jolyon, Peter S, Max and Jess for sharing your experiences. I guess I have more of a question/pondering than a thinking. I am not in the socioeconomic field as such, but I do work with people who have socioeconomic challenges (financially challenged by how our society is set up). It took me a while to even understand this term and I am unsure if that is what it means as I write this.
The only response I have really is that we are all human just attempting to meet our needs and when I connect with anyone, I attempt to come from that place of connecting with human needs. I listen to what is important to people and reflect that back to them because we all want to be heard and understood and to matter.
I do not feel qualified enough to comment on what people do or how they choose to do it based on what I have heard. I just see the common factor in all 5, a desire to contribute to life and I am touched by that. The strategies to deploy are just that, strategies, and all lead to the same end. That might sound a little kumbya maybe, but that’s what I see. Same for me, I’m in the game that I am to contribute to life. What else is there??!!