Relationships

The benefits of a loving relationship are well known and there is evidence that physical contact and sex are good for our health, so when things go wrong or we don’t have that special person, life can feel very bleak.

So what gets in the way?  Communication can be an issue if we don't say what we really think and feel, worry that talking will make things worse or upset the other person, or simply assume that someone knows what’s on our mind. A lot of anger is caused by breakdowns in communication, so changing the way we communicate can make a real difference.
         
An affair does not always lead to the end of a relationship, but the sense of betrayal when someone has been unfaithful can feel like the end of the world.  If you decide you want the relationship to continue it may be possible to rebuild trust and heal the wounds, but it can take time.

Communication and affairs are just two of many issues which impact relationships, and sometimes it is the things over which we have no control such as unemployment, childhood abuse (or abusive relationships as an adult), poor health, our family's expectations and bereavement which cause difficulties. Social media can also cause problems in a relationship.   

Counselling helps by giving you a safe place to talk about what is going on in your relationship without being judged.  I am mindful that men sometimes find it hard to talk about their feelings so I try to work in a way which validates the positive qualities that both men and women bring to relationships.  My role is to support you as you re-connect as a couple or work towards an ending if that is what you decide to do.  I do not have an agenda in terms of whether you stay together or separate, it will be for you to decide where the relationship is going.  I am not gay myself but I am happy to work with same sex couples.