"All Caught Up In The Heat"
September 10th 2010
Doris Schwartz stands in her apartment, wearing a bath robe. The radio is playing and Doris is going through her mail. The first letter was an invitation to Julie Miller’s concert, where Coco Hernandez was to be a special guest. It was scheduled to take place on the following evening but Doris wasn’t sure she wanted to attend.
The second letter was from the U.S. Army and the sight of it makes Doris feel physically sick. The previous evening she’d had a phone call to tell her that her son was missing in Afghanistan and to expect a letter to confirm it.
Reading the letter in black and white saying that her son was feared kidnapped or possibly dead made the situation seem more real. Doris had tried to tell herself it was all a terrible mistake but reading the words on the paper meant she could no longer lie to herself. Tears started to fall and moistened the paper which she held in her shaking hand. Ever since her son had joined the army after the 9/11 terrorist attacks Doris had feared for her son’s life. Her heart would race every time the phone rang, or there was a knock at the door. Her doctor had prescribed her sleeping pills and anti depressants. She hated taking them but felt it was the only way to keep on going.
A song plays on the radio that expresses how Doris is feeling and she quietly sings along:
"Shattered,
Like a window pane,
Broken by a storm,
Each tiny piece of me lies alone.
And scattered,
Far beyond repair,
All my shiny dreams,
Just lying there.
I'm broken but I'm laughing,
It's the sound of falling glass,
I hope that you won't mind if I should cry, in public,
While I wait for this to pass.
Cause sweet darling I'm shattered,
Into fragments cold and grey,
Sweep the pieces all away.
Then no one will ever know how much it mattered.
Something deep inside of me,
Shattered."
As the music ends Doris lets out a deep sign, holding her head in her hands. After a few moments she is startled by her cell phone ringing. For a long moment she stares at the ringing phone, her heart pounding so much it felt like it would burst out of her chest. Then she notices that Bruno’s name is flashing on the display and with great relief she quickly answers.
Doris: “Hello?”
Bruno: “Hi Doris, I was just checking if you’d heard any more news about William yet?”
Doris sighs: “No nothing apart from the letter confirming he is missing! I’m not sure what to do Bruno. The not knowing is tearing me apart.”
Bruno: “Well I know there’s no point in telling you not to worry because I know you will. I think you should try to keep busy. Maybe go to Julie’s recital tonight ...”
Doris interrupts: “Oh Bruno, I'm not sure I'm up to that. What if the Army call?”
Bruno: “They've got you’re cell number haven’t they?”
Doris: “Yes!”
Bruno: “Well then keep busy, go along and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Doris reluctantly agrees: “Okay, I’ll think about it!”
Doris spent the day pottering around the house trying to keep busy attempting to do a number of chores but found she was unable to concentrate and ended up with a number of tasks just half finished. She tried reading and watching some television but nothing worked. She constantly kept checking her phone to make sure it was still working and became frustrated that she didn't have any more calls. By late afternoon she decided to take Bruno’s advice and go to Julie’s recital. As she readied herself she took one of the pills the Doctor had prescribed, with a very large glass of neat vodka, to steady her nerves and then called a taxi to take her to the show.
Being surrounded by other people at the concert did actually help her and whether it was the pills, the alcohol, the music or a combination of them all, she felt quiet relaxed. Then Coco performed a song called “Love Will Come Back To Me” and all the emotions of her missing son came rushing back to her. Tears roll her checks and she starts shake, desperately trying not to fall apart completely.
"As the earth bears fruit
Love will come back to me
As I walk my truth
Love will come back to me
As natural
As a summer’s breeze
Caressing my skin
I’ve got to believe
Love will come back to me
Love will come back to me
Love will come back to me
I don’t question
The seasons
The going away
And coming to be
Then why
Do I question
If there’s a love
Out there for me
Just meant for me
As the earth bears fruit
Love will come back to me
As I walk my truth
Love will come back to me
As natural
As a summer’s breeze
Caressing my skin
I’ve got to believe
Love will come back to me
Love will come back to me
Love will come back to
Me…"
At the interval of the show she felt a strange sensation as though someone was watching her. She looked around the emptying auditorium but couldn't see anyone. After a quick word with Julie she rushed into the bar to buy herself another large drink.
As she looked around the busy room for Coco and Julie a voice called to her.
“Doris!”
She looks around and is surprised to see the face of one of her school friends, Jesse Velasquez. Doris wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to catch up with an old friend she had not seen in years but approached Jesse anyway.
Jesse stares at her: “It’s unbelievable?”
Doris is puzzled: “What do you mean? What’s unbelievable?”
Jesse: “You! You really do look like her?”
Doris shakes her head: “Look like who? Jesse, I don’t understand what you’re talking about!”
Jesse smiles: “Don’t you remember when you gave that message from Nicole?”
Doris is still puzzled and shakes her head “No! What message?”
Jesse is frustrated: “How could you forget something like that? You told me Nicole still loved me and wished we’d never broken up. Then you arranged for me to see Nicole one last time.”
Doris becomes agitated and confused: “I’m sorry, is this some kind of sick joke? I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I never told you anything like that. How Could I? She’s dead!”
Angry and frustrated Doris rushes off to the ladies room.
Jesse calls after her: “Doris, wait, come back...”
Doris stands in the ladies room looking in the mirror her hands shaking as her emotions swell inside of her. She decides to take another pill in the hope of calming herself down. Pulling the bottle of pills from her pocket a piece of paper falls on to the floor. Doris reaches to pick it up and realises it’s the letter from the Army. As she reads the words on the page one more time tears well up in her eyes and she begins to sob.
Doris is disturbed by the sound of the door to the ladies room opening however she is puzzled when no one comes through the door. After a moment her attention returns back to the letter. Doris feels overwhelmed and the bottle of pills rattles in her hand as she tips a handful of pills into her other hand. She stares at the pills and picks up the glass of vodka. She knows that one pill isn’t going to make much difference to how she feels and starts to contemplate taking more, maybe even all of them. The thoughts running through her head scare her but slowly she moves her hand containing the pills closer to her mouth.
Suddenly Doris is startled by the taps at the other sinks all turning themselves on full and one of the cubicle doors starts banging back and forth. Doris looks around the room wandering what is happening. There is no logical explanation and she starts to think that maybe after everything she might be losing her mind!
At that moment Coco enters the ladies room and Doris closes her hand containing the pills, slowly putting her hand in her pocket, to hide what she was about to do from Coco.
Coco: "Oh Doris you look a mess, why don’t I call Bruno to come and take you home?”
Doris nods silently in agreement, relieved that Coco didn't appear to see the pills but at the same time a sense of anger starts to rise inside her.
Coco pulls out her cell phone but notices the taps turned on full and the water filling up the basin. She turns them off.
Coco: “What happened here?”
Doris shrugs: “I, I erm don’t know. They just came on by themselves.”
Coco gives a sceptical look but doesn't pursue the matter. Instead she makes the phone call to Bruno.
Coco becomes frustrated when she gets Bruno’s answering service: “Listen Bruno, it’s Coco I’m with Doris and she’s in a pretty bad way. Call me back when you get this.”
Coco sighs and looks at her watch, she only has 15 minutes before she’s due back on stage. She then decides to call Danny. Thankfully he answers first time and agrees to come straight over.
Coco smiles: “It’s okay Danny’s agreed to come and be with you, he should be here in 10 minutes.”
The anger inside of Doris rises even more a she feels that Coco’s is more worried about the show than her friend.
Doris snaps: “That’s right palm me off onto someone else. Do you have somewhere else to be?”
Coco: “Look Doris I know you’re upset and you have every right to be but I have a show to do so it makes sense to get someone else in to help you.”
Doris gives a weak laugh: “It’s always a show with you isn’t it? My whole life is falling apart here, it’s the anniversary of my Mother being killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks and my son is missing. He’s been fighting in a war against these terrorists. A war that has been going on for nine years now and there seems to be no end in sight to it. Even if William is actually okay this time, what about the next time? What about all those days and nights he’s away from me and I have no idea if he’s alive or dead and whether I’ll ever see him again. Do you know what that’s like? Do you know how it feels to have no control over any of this. Every time I’ve seen my son in the few last years, the joy has always been tinged with bitterness. What if this is the last time I’ll ever see him? Every time I hug him goodbye it could be for the last time. I have no way of knowing. It’s draining and I have no other life these days. There’s certainly no show for me! But you, you just need to worry about some show or other!”
Coco takes a deep breath: “Look Doris, I know you’re hurting right now and you are just lashing out at me, but this isn’t the time or the place. Besides, shouting at me isn’t going to make any of your pain go away, William will still be lost and even if he wasn’t he would still be fighting this terrible war. None of that is my fault!”
Doris nods: “You’re right Coco, you’re right, as usual. Just go back to your show, I’ll be fine. There’s nothing for anyone to worry about here. You know I used to really admire you and you’re halo effect. No actually I was jealous of you. I wanted to be the one that was always a part of everything; the one that had a lead in nearly every show. But what has it gotten you? There’s no husband, no children, nothing except the next part in the next show! I remember that time when you cried to me, your Grandmother had died and you still went ahead and did the school show. Not only did you do it but you performed wonderfully, the best performance ever. I remember you worrying what the school was turning you into...”
Coco looks at Doris with a stern expression, upset by the memory but trying not to show it.
Doris continues: “You know, I thought she’ll learn from this. It was a mistake to put a show before friends and family but we all have to make our mistakes so that we can learn for the next time. I guess I was just plain wrong. Here we are all these years later and you haven’t learnt a thing. You have a friend who needs help or she might just......”
Doris’ voice trails off almost on the verge of tears, but also not wanting to admit exactly what she was thinking of doing before Coco entered the room.
After a deep breath she regains her composure and continues: “Well let’s just say, you have a friend that is in a mess and all you can think about is some dumb show!”
Coco becomes a little angry: “It’s not that I don’t care it’s just that I am a professional. I don’t have any halo effect and goodness knows you don’t know the half of what has happened to me over the years. However as I say I’m a professional, I work hard and I refuse to let my personal life spoil that hard work and dedication.”
Doris’ angry explodes and she begins to shout: “Professional? Or just plain heartless? You didn’t care about your Grandmother and you don’t care about me now! THE SHOW MUST ALWAYS GO ON! and..... ”
SLAP! Before she can continue Coco lurches forward and slaps Doris hard around the face.
For a moment there is silence as both women glare angrily at each other.
Coco is the first to calm down and speak: “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that but you’re wrong about me. I have just as much insecurity and self doubt as anyone else, I just choose to handle it in a different way. Maybe my way isn’t the right way but it is the right way for me. I’m not lecturing you on pulling yourself together or anything like that so I’d appreciate if you didn’t lecture me. Yes I have a show to do but I’ve made sure that there is someone there for you first. I haven’t just left you to suffer. Had no one else been available then I would have stayed myself but let’s face it Doris, you were always closer to Bruno and Danny so it makes more sense for you to speak to them, leaving me to continue with my commitments. Regarding my grandmother, she was already dead so what would have not doing that show have achieved? All I would have done was let a lot of other people, including yourself, down. I was already feeling bad enough and I didn’t need any more stress and pressure at that point. Anyway Danny is probably here by now so shall we go and meet him. That’s if you’ve quite finished lashing out at me.”
Doris sighs and her voice becomes much calmer: “No Coco, it’s me who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff. You are right I am just lashing out and of course you wouldn’t have just abandoned me. Whatever happened with your grandmother was your business and nothing to do with me. I’m sorry!”
Doris puts her arms around Coco and gives her a brief hug. Then she washes her face with warm water and takes a deep breath: “Okay I’m ready.”
As Coco and Doris leave the ladies room to meet Danny in the bar area, Coco makes her excuses leaving Danny and Doris alone. For a few moments they stand in silence.
Danny is the first to break it: “Shall I get a taxi to take you home?”
Feeling close to tears again Doris just nods and Danny makes the call. Then the two make their way towards the door waiting for the taxi to arrive. Again Doris has the overwhelming sense that someone is watching her. She looks around but again can’t see anyone actually looking in her direction.
As Danny and Doris leave the bar Doris’ phone started to ring.
Doris panics: “Danny, it’s the army, it must be about William. Oh my goodness, I can’t speak to them. Please you’ll have to do it.”
She pushes the phone into Danny’s hand and watches on tender hooks as Danny answers it.
Danny: “Hello? Yes this is her phone, she’s asked me to speak to you.”
At that moment a taxi pulls up and Danny, who is still on the phone, leads Doris into the taxi, which then drives off. Doris gives the driver the directions and then frantically watches every movement on Danny’s face trying to pick up on any clues of what is being said then suddenly becomes even more concerned.
Danny: “Hello?... Hello?..."
Danny shrugs: “The line went dead...”
Doris interrupts: “What were they saying?”
Danny: “They said they had found some of the William’s platoon".
Doris' eyes widen with expectations. Danny swallows hard before continuing: "Unfortunately they were all dead.... Erm.. They were just about to tell me if William was amongst them but that’s when the line went dead.”
Doris begins to sob
Danny gives her a hug and gently kisses her cheek: “Come on Ham, we don't know for sure yet. Come on, you’re strong, you’ve always been strong. You will get through this I promise you.”
Doris gives a weak smiles, not convinced by her friends comments: “I’m not so sure about that Danny. This is a nightmare and I wish I could just wake up from it!”
Danny hugs her tighter: “Maybe I should try calling them back?”
Doris nods and again waits anxiously as Danny tries dialling. After a few minutes trying Danny sighs.
Danny: “It’s no good I can’t get any signal!”
As they arrive at Doris’ apartment Danny pays the taxi and starts to get out of the car but Doris stops him.
Doris: “Thanks Danny, but I’ll be okay now. I think I just want to be alone.”
Danny hesitates: “Are you sure?”
Doris: “Yes, yes, I’ll be fine. You get off home and I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Danny reluctantly agrees and Doris watches as the cab drives away. As she makes her way into her darkened apartment she closes the door, lights some candles, pours herself another large drink, which she knocks back in one go, then slumps to the floor and beings to cry. For around 30 minutes she sobs uncontrollably. Eventually she becomes exhausted from the crying and sits in silence. She then has an overwhelming urge to see her sons face. She picks up one of the candles and moves to the mantle piece and looks at the group of photos there. She smiles at her son’s handsome face and traces the outline of his face with her finger.
Doris whispers: “I love you son. Please come back to me!”
Suddenly the clock on the wall strikes midnight and startles Doris. He eyes are drawn to the photo of her mother as Doris realises it’s the anniversary of her mother’s death. The photo she is looking at was taken years ago and also features herself and her two children Jenny and William, all smiling happily for the camera. It seemed like a life time away and Doris wishes she could to go back to a time when her life was simpler and happier.
She pours herself another drink and takes another pill, losing track of how many she’d taken that day. Then she reads the letter from the army, one more time and once again anger swells inside of her. Violently she rips the paper on which the letter is written into small pieces and throws all but one of the pieces into a waste bin. The final piece she sets a light using the flame of one of the candles. For a moment she holds the burning paper until the flame reaches her fingers and she then drops it in to the bin and watches the other pieces burn.
Doris begins to feel light headed and a little nauseous and sits on the sofa where she quickly falls asleep. Unbeknown to her the flames from the burning paper had spread to the nearby curtains and a thick smoke starts to fill the room.
Doris stirs although she still feels sleepy and nauseous as though there isn't enough air for her to breathe properly. She tries to stand and make her way to the door but her legs feel a little weak and she almost stumbles. She reaches out to hold on to a nearby door handle to stop herself from falling over. To her surprise the handle is red hot and she instantly pulls her hand away in pain. There is a strong smell of smoke, which seems to be eating up the remaining air and she starts to panic. She then notices the flames that are quickly engulfing the room.
Then she hears a loud banging noise which fills the room and scares her. Doris struggling to breath falls to her knees. The banging seems to get louder and louder and She puts her hands over her ears.
"Doris yells: "Stop this, please stop this."
She hears a voice calling: “Doris, Doris, can you hear me? Doris?”
Doris calls out: "Who's there? Who is it?"
The banging becomes louder
Doris calls out again: "Help Me, ..... please.... somebody help me...."
Suddenly the door opens and light from the corridor fills the room an unrecognisable figure stands in the doorway.
Doris screams as the figure moves towards her and she then passes out overcome from breathing in all the smoke.
A frantic voice calls from the corridor “No! Bruno....I can’t lose you now!”
After a few minutes Bruno staggers out of the apartment choking and carrying an unconscious Doris. At that moment the Doris that had been standing in the hallway with the others disappears. Not like when she had previously moved in time. This was different she had simply faded slowly away.
Jesse looks to Bruno: "You've saved her man!"
Bruno worriedly looks at the empty space where the other Doris had been: "Have I? I'm not so sure about that!"
To be continued.....