Dangle Pies Win 2017 St. Patrick's Day Tournament!

Post date: Mar 20, 2017 11:07:04 PM

The Dangle Pies won the top division of the 20th Annual St. Patrick's Day Tournament in Stamford, CT. During the tournament they went undefeated at 5-0 while outscoring their opponents 29-12. It was an outstanding performance both on and off the ice throughout the weekend.

They were led with surprisingly strong goaltending from Matt "Lance Bass" Miller which was largely thanks to the solid veteran d-core of Josh "I got my tight pants on" Neto, Anthony "Always swipes right" Barella, Corey "Loves pictures of guys on motorcycles" Conte, and Patrick "Purple Rain" Sullivan. The Dangle Pies lit the lamp early and often receiving scoring from all 3 lines (except for Joey "Da Jesus of Ice Time" Sanginario). Two major contributors up front were Mike "The Bubblist" Sullivan who scored his first career hatrick at a level above D-League and David "Killer" Nickles who doubled his quota with 4 goals (as if he hasn't already told you ten times). "Big Mike" Lysyj and Kyle "Bench ralfer" Stewardson found "rosy" chemistry both on and off the ice all weekend. Genitals kept his pants on all weekend and managed to only throw candles at the other team which was another huge morale boost for the squad. Van "Post magnet" Stefanou upgraded his wardrobe this tournament and was able to enter a bar through the front door without wearing sweatpants. The future looks very promising for the Dangle Pies as the team signed a promising "33 year old rookie" in Andrew Billinghurst despite not really being friends with him.

In other news Shaun Stamm had a nice quiet weekend with his family.

Richard Simmonds

-ESPN