Round Again

Round Again (July beginning)

Steve was raped as a boy;

Half willingly, that is.

Now he spends most of his time

giving it

to every man he meets.

Between times,

his depression pulls him down.

Usually after he takes

one long look in th mirror.

I offer to help him.

I contract

to keep "hands off".

(And, I would too, If he asked)

Nevertheless,

Steve chases "intimacy"

disguised as casual sex...

quickie relationships,

and self defeating parlies.

He maintains his distance.

to avoid the truth;

while being aware

that the offer would be:

"with no strings attached."

Mere friendship,

I tell him.

Intimacy,

on another plane.

With luck,

maybe a permanent friendship.

He continues to seek out others,

that take and never give back.

He captures all of those that look his way,

with a "hello" and a "little boy grin".

(all the while hiding his pain within)

Chase yourself in circles!

Lower your self esteem!

Get down, you coward!

Go round and round, again!

He feels worthless,

unwanted,

and depressed.

Until he finds another partner

to begin it all again.

Be careful, Steve!

If AIDS doesn't get you,

You will!