An Open Letter To My Wife

An Open Letter To My Wife

Kathy,

It has been thirty years,

Since Lupus took you away from me.

Your valiant ten-year battle,

Was ended by our ignorance

And the inability to see within your world.

Lupus took you by the hand,

And to that place

You so often spoke about.

To walk with your God, I guess.

Although, I can’t imagine,

You being happy with just doing that!

We had one decade together.

And now, over three,

Apart.

You are lucky, you know.

You have never grown older

Since I last saw you.

In my minds eye,

You are the same,

Beautiful woman.

You might not recognize me now,

With my gray hair and wrinkles.

There are roadmaps of joy and pain.

It came to me the other day,

That you might not be waiting for me,

There, anymore.

Maybe, you have already left that place,

To return here in rebirth

With a new beginning.

If this is so,

I am happy for you.

I will be along, eventually.

I just seem to be lagging behind.

With so many things left unfinished.

There seem to be so many projects and agendas.

Kathy, I guess I still fall short.

I want it all,

Before this trip ends.

What I need to do,

Is just to let it all go.

Like you were able to do.

It’s sad,

In a way,

That I can’t tell you this face to face.

To tell you how much

I would have liked to have been a better husband.

I tried, you know that.

You lived with your “wolf” so long,

That you no longer complained

Or warned us of your pain.

I was jealous of your friends.

I wish you could hear me say that.

They liked you more than me.

There was not enough room in your church,

For all of them to hear your priest,

Send you on your way.

If we ever meet again, Kath,

I will say all of this again.

I will tell you that you are still my best buddy.

Until then,

I miss you my dear friend,

My lover,

My wife.

Love.