Meeting Script

(Anyone is welcome to use this script if they wish, to start their own meetings in any Twelve-Step fellowship.)

If you call in, other people are at the meeting, but no one is running it, you may read the following script.                 

Secretary Instructions: (This script includes a two-minute meditation so please have a timer ready or ask someone to time).

Dialing in with the Secretary Code allows the Secretary to manage the phone controls.

605-313-4818, access code 702759* 

Using “ * ” instead of “ # ” after the access code gives these abilities:

*5 mutes and unmutes everyone.   (Remind others on the call, as often as needed, to unmute and mute by pressing *6.)

*8 turns off the chimes that tells everyone when callers come and go;  chimes  “on” is the default.

*2 will tell you the number of callers on the line.

Note to Secretary: if you’ve called in with “ # ”  vs. “ * ” and there’s a noisy line, ask for help from someone who called in with Secretary Code, or call back yourself with  “ * “.

No one should use these controls, including pressing *2, unless the Secretary asks for help.

Begin with:

Welcome to the daily COSA 11th step meeting. My name is ___________ (your first name and last initial only) and I'm your secretary for tonight. COSA is a Twelve-Step fellowship of people who help each other recover from the effects of sexual betrayal. We do this by working the Steps and by sharing our experience, strength, and hope with one another. This meeting welcomes people of all genders, no genders, and any gender(s) in between.  Anyone is welcome at this meeting.

Let’s open with the "we and us" version of the serenity prayer.

[God
Grant us the serenity
To accept the things we cannot change
The courage to change the things we can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will not mine be done.]

[There are 2 options here:] 

"Each of us can block out any background noise in our surroundings by pressing star-6 or the mute button on our phone.
Please press star-6 to unmute your phone if you want to read or share. You can press star-6 again to re-mute your phone when you are done.

This is a daily Eleventh Step check-in meeting. COSA's Eleventh Step is "(We) sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out." In Step Eleven, we ask our Higher Power every morning to direct our thoughts about the day ahead, and keep them free from self-pity, dishonesty, or self-seeking. We then follow Higher Power’s will throughout the day as Step Eleven suggests, while also working our Tenth Step to "continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Then at night, we review our day and ask ourselves questions about how we did.

DON'T say this line out loud: ONLY If you’ve called in with the secretary code [see instructions above], and there’s persistent noise:  Then you can say at any time: I'm muting us all now. When you wish to be heard press *6.

We begin this meeting by reading the original instructions for working the Eleventh Step, from the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, from the last paragraph on page 85 through “It works–it really does”, on page 88. Although the wording refers to alcoholism, we have found that it is equally true for all the effects of compulsive sexual behavior on our lives.

Would anyone like to read the Eleventh Step instructions?


[Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.


When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.


On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.


In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.


What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.


We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.


If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.


As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.


It works - it really does.]


Thank you. It’s now time for sharing.  Introduce yourself by your first name to share your nightly Eleventh Step inventory or something you’ve learned about the Eleventh Step. You might consider the following questions:

Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?

Do we owe an apology?

Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?

Were we kind and loving toward all?

What could we have done better?

Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?

Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

Have we asked that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems?

Did we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action?

Have we prayed today for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out?

Please keep shares to 2 minutes, self-timed. To unmute press * 6 or the mute button on your phone.

When you're finished say "pass" and re-mute. Who will begin?

[at 16 minutes past the hour] We have set this time aside for newcomers to share. A newcomer is anyone who has shared at this meeting three times or fewer. Are there any newcomers who wish to share? Again, to mute or unmute your phone, press *6.

[if not, or if you run out before 18 past the hour] If there are no more newcomers, we can throw it open for everyone to share.

[at 20 past, or as close to it as you can get] Now it's God's turn to share. We now have two minutes of quiet time. We are each invited to use this time to ask our Higher Power, whatever that might be, for help, guidance and a greater knowledge of our Higher Power's will and presence in our lives. It is also a great time to ask Higher Power for forgiveness for any character defects we may have engaged in and to show us what actions we might need to take after reviewing our day. (Set timer for 2 minutes)

[22 minutes past] We now have one minute each to share about anything we heard during our meditation time. Who would like to go first?

[27 minutes past] Thanks everyone.  That’s all the time we have for sharing. If anyone who has not had a chance to share wants to share their presence by saying their name, we have time for that now.

[when that’s done] COSA's Seventh Tradition states: Every COSA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. We have the ability to support our meeting via a donate button at the bottom of the meeting’s web homepage which is: cosa eleventh step meeting dot com (with the word “eleventh” spelled out). The money we collect pays for our website, helps support the Telemeeting Intergroup and COSA as a whole.  Thanks, everyone.

Are there any COSA announcements? State open service positions.

[when any announcements are done]

Newcomers, a Newcomer Packet is available for you, and anyone.

We have a Contact List for this Eleventh Step meeting which you can use to reach out for support between meetings and to help you find a sponsor. A sponsor can explain how to work the steps. 

You may also ask to receive emails related to COSA and to our Eleventh Step meeting. 

Please send an email with your request or give your email information after the meeting.

It’s now time to end our meeting. In closing, please remember to respect everyone’s anonymity by not gossiping with others about anything anyone has shared here. Everyone is welcome to stay on this line after the meeting to chat or to ask any questions.

Let’s close the meeting with the "we and us" version of the Serenity Prayer.


[God

Grant us the serenity

To accept the things we cannot change

The courage to change the things we can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Thy will not mine be done.]


The meeting is closed. If anyone wants a Newcomer Packet, or to receive COSA announcements, or to get a copy of our Contact List which lists people you may call in-between meetings and the names of potential sponsors or to be put on that Contact List, please email: cosaeleventhstepmeeting@gmail.com  - that is: cosaeleventhstepmeeting@gmail.com

Or share your email with me now and I’ll pass it along to our Email Coordinator.

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For the secretary: Here’s information about the meeting from freeconferencecall.com:

Free Conference Call

Conference Dial-in Number:  (605)  313-4818

Host Access Code: 702759*

Participant Access Code: 702759#

Free Conference Recording

Subscriber PIN code: 123665#

To start recording, host presses: *9, then the PIN

To stop recording, host presses: *9

Free Conference Play Back

Playback Number: (605) 313-4818

Access Code: 702759#