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Post date: Aug 13, 2016 11:00:39 AM
Zen Body Being by Peter Ralston
Chapter 9. Relationship and Consciousness
Relationships with other persons, objects, states or conditions are fluid, ever changing, action packed associations. Relating is a natural or logical association between two or more things. It is the relevance of one to the other. Relationship occurs as a result of interpretation. Every aspect of an event exists in relationship to other parts of the whole. For physical skill, relating well to objects, others and the environment is essential. Relating is how we survive, move and interact with life.Awareness, relationship and interaction are three categories relating to the self, other objects and other people. The greater our awareness of the body and environment, the more effectively we can relate to another object or being. These activities are improved by adhering to the five principles: (1) relaxing, (2) centering, (3) grounding, (4) being calm and (5) feeling the whole body. In addition to practice and familiarity with the object we are relating.
Exercise: Pick an object and move it around the room. At first we may control it too much. Slowly we let it float on its own. Let it have its own will. Surrender to the object. Allow energy to serve the object rather than to dominate it. Use a quiet and patient heart to direct actions. Be honest with yourself. No one understands what we need better than us.
Intention. Any interaction is as much about the other person as it is about us. This makes the relationship exponentially more complex. The situation now includes the object, body awareness as well as another’s body, mind and actions. We must account for the mental, emotional, verbal and physical activities of each person around us constantly from moment to moment. Perception becomes even more paramount. Whether the interaction is social, intellectual or physical, our effectiveness will depend on how familiar we are with the circumstances, our ability to accurately assess the situation (threat to benefit ratio) and our ability to meet any condition that may arise.
Real eyes realize real lies. We can only relate to what we perceive, increasing our conscious awareness of what is taking place will always enhance our level of skill. In interaction, many changes are likely to arise and the challenge becomes adhering to this whole and detailed awareness. Be fully aware in each moment as each moment is likely to be different than the last. By improving our perception and understanding of every moment, we improve our ability to interact. It is essential that our perception is correct and accurate if we are to perform optimally. Increasing consciousness decreases fear. Increasing feeling attention decreases the need for fear.
The principle of effective interaction. Purpose suggests goals and will tell us what actions are appropriate. With this information we can attempt to skillfully acquire what we want from the interaction.
Clarity, presence and skill. Clear and accurate perception is key. The success of our actions depends entirely on our ability to relate appropriately to what is actually occurring in this moment. Every action should relate to what we are interacting with. Always question whether what we perceive is an accurate and current representation of what is actually happening. Make a shift in conscious awareness.
Increasing relational awareness. Know where the body is. Determine its relationship to other bodies, objects and forces. Here is where we are. We must accurately perceive. Learn to feel the precise location of our body in relation to our environment. Experience exactly where we are, no filters, relating accurately to every person and object in our environment. By feeling every part of our body and reacting to the situation accurately we immediately know what to move and where to move it from moment to moment. Our awareness must include all that there is.
Inclusive Awareness. Our awareness must include everything with which we are interacting. Do not drop out parts of the whole. Do not focus on the result as that serves to distract us from the process. Greed for a result often limits interpretation of what is currently happening. We no longer relate to what is occurring. Do not allow the self to ruminate or be drawn in emotionally. Internal distraction lowers accuracy and take us away from the occurring process. Efforts are not focused, becoming misdirected or ineffective. Relate to all and in every moment. Practice feeling as a constant and ever present activity. This is the main element to remaining in the moment--feeling awareness. If not involved in the process of consciousness, we are unconscious.
Consciousness. Consciousness has to do with everything we undertake. Awareness comes from consciousness. Feeling is where sensation and consciousness intersect. As a principle, effective interaction means actions relate appropriately to what is occurring in each moment. Becoming more conscious of the nature of our own ‘feeling’ allows us to more precisely and accurately match our actions to whatever is there. Consciousness encompasses the mind but primarily refers to the source of mind--the source of attention, feeling, interpretation, relationship, instinct and impulse. It produces every aspect of our perceived reality. Consciousness is simply being. Increasing our awareness means making distinctions between things that were already there but we never took the time to bring into consciousness. If we cannot perceive, we cannot relate. We take the limits of our own vision for the limits of the world. To expand your world, first expand your vision.
Getting in our own way. The most common obstacle is ‘resisting what is occurring’ physically, mentally and emotionally. Any resistance puts us out of touch with what is actually occurring. By not accepting the situation for what it actually is we become less present. Consciousness works best by feeling the essential distinctions that allow for effective interaction. The ability to feel gives us the best process to use information for skillful action. Our feeling sense should include everything that is going on, whether we find it emotionally pleasing or not. We must remain highly sensitive but refrain from being reactive or emotionally controlled. When perception accurately matches the event constantly, we better relate to what's occurring. Since interaction is constantly changing, what is an appropriate response is also constantly changing. Actions must be relevant to the current situation. Appropriateness is always relative to what is happening. An advantageous position exists only as a temporary factor in any interaction. The principle of effective interaction always refers to the occurring event. Action must continually relate to the present moment. When our awareness is restricted or distorted, our performance will reflect that fragmentation and lack of clarity. When emotions are engaged, perception becomes clouded with bias and judgement. Mental-emotional resistance gives us a feeling of separation from whatever we are doing or interacting with. By learning to relax and relate the whole body to the whole of our experience, resistance abates. As we become more receptive and open, we become more skillful. Learn to give energy to the moment but let the moment ‘have it’s way.’ This shift begins with being calm and continues with an inclusive and present awareness of what is occurring. The solution lies in the experience of the whole event, not in contracting into the apparent problem. When times become challenging or we grow tired with a particular situation, frustration and anger may seep in. Constantly reminding ourselves to apply the five principles will bring us back to that state of openness. Relaxing, centering, grounding, being calm and feeling the whole body will afford us the presence of mind to be effective. When we design our actions from the perspective of full awareness of the actions and intent of the person(s) or circumstance of the moment, we act appropriately. This must occur as a feeling sense, not an intellectual formula. We must surrender our perception, feeling, strategies, impulse and actions to the moment. Develop and train a relational feeling intelligence that is both receptive and creative, an intelligence that accurately perceives what is occurring and generates feelings and actions that are consistent with the five principles. When we continuously follow and blend with whatever arises, what we create presents no conflict with what is occurring.
“Anxiety is the gap between the now and the later.” Fritz Perls
Body being and interaction. The five principles are about relationship, whether that be a solo relationship or the most complex. When we train the principles of being calm, relaxing, and moving from the center, we must also train our ability to maintain this disposition throughout our interaction--a constant condition that influences how we interact. With the five principles as our foundation, we can maintain an effective relationship to ever changing circumstances. Efforts should be a sensitive response to what is actually occurring. When the principles play together in harmony, they evoke a grace that is simply more than the sum of its parts. Our actions are not our own, but follow the way of the environment. Do not try, but stop here or there and let the outcome occur. All relationship is enhanced by bringing greater feeling awareness (sensitivity) to the objects and people with whom we interact. Continue to look into experience as we go about our daily life. Play with it. Experiment. There may be no definitive answer immediately forthcoming, especially for more complex interactions, but there will be more awareness, sensitivity, skill and power.
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