Passionless Marriage in Fiction

The definition of a happy marriage could arguably be a couple who spend years together, raise a family, seldom argue and little else happens. But the reality might be a cloud of discontentment is thickening along with the risk of change. Perhaps the children need stability, perhaps neither can afford to buy the other out. Perhaps a fear of loneliness prevents marital separation. Having too much at stake can become a form of imprisonment, a theme I explored in fiction and film, as well as within my own story.

When Marriage Becomes a Prison

Wedded bliss often does not measure up, as writer Pamela Haag PhD found, after interviewing over 2000 married couples. In her book, Marriage Confidential (2011), she found a shift in values since the fifties, where marriage expected the woman to stay at home and rear the children, whilst husbands expressed gratitude through gifts and treats. But now, women (as well as men) being more proactive are more vocal about their disenchantment with wedded life. Day to day activities become a rigmarole of routine, expectations and bickering over the dinner table. In an emotional limbo, either spouse feels out of touch with the reasons they first wedded. More disconcerting, is the personal sacrifices likely made in the name of marriage maintenance. Various films have explored this theme of private sacrifices for a stable relationship.

Story of a Marriage Gone Stale

American Beauty (1999) tells the story of Lester (Kevin Spacey) who realizes he works to be imprisoned within the American suburbs. One of the film’s opening scenes is of Lester relieving himself in the shower, and we know the marriage is built upon passionless convenience. Only when he meets his daughter’s friend, Angela does he see beyond the confines of his life. The object of his desire being the same age as his daughter, makes his midlife crisis seem comically inappropriate. But sexually revitalized, Lester tries to recapture what he once had with his wife, Carolyn who is having an extramarital affair. However, she is more concerned about what their union will do to their couch. Her vote for the superficial above passion merely fuels Lester’s rebellion and his marriage breaks down. Only when Angela admits to being a virgin, does Lester see her as she really is, an innocent and vulnerable girl whose beauty is projected as a male fantasy.

Fiction about Doomed Love

The Age of Innocence (1994) film adaptation of Edith Wharton’s novel tells the story of an affluent lawyer, Newland (Daniel Day Lewis) who believes he has everything in life; money, influence and a beautiful fiancé until he meets a social outcast, Ellen (Michelle Pfeiffer) in the midst of a divorce. Being set in the Victorian era, Ellen is treated as a pariah. But Ellen’s passion and intelligence causes a burgeoning disillusionment in Newland regarding Victorian values. Protocols and etiquette of the age begins to feel more like a prison cell. Newland craves what Ellen offers but the safe option is a fitting marriage to his betrothed. He makes a personal sacrifice in order to keep the status quo.

A Life of Obligation Versus Love

Being stuck in a passionless marriage can also form the extension of a life situation. This can be seen in Lost in Translation (2003) where Bob (Bill Murray) an aging movie star, is commissioned to make whisky adverts in Tokyo. The alienation he feels in his high-rise corporate life is of the same stuff as his tired, unromantic marriage. Only when he meets a young graduate, Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) does he discover she is similarly trapped in a cellular life; a relationship with an indifferent photographer boyfriend. But after spending time together each evening, begin to bond as two lonely souls do. Only on their poignant farewell do they realize the value of the simple moments they have shared.

Hidden Passion in Fiction

The Duchess (2008) takes the theme of crushing marital entrapment to the highest level when Georgiana (Keira Knightley) is forced to marry much older William (Ralph Fiennes). He sees marriage as a duty of which his wife must gratefully adhere to. To add insult to injury, he blatantly has an affair with her best friend. But Georgiana craves the passions of Charles (Dominic Cooper) the love of her life. Set in the Victorian age, her future appears doomed to a life of functions and obligations to a man who lacks humanity.

Modern Day Marital Duty

I injected the theme of marital discontent into my novel which tells the story of Jessica who considers herself part of a successful marriage until she is kidnapped and held in an upstairs room. Her incarceration forces her to reflect upon her life with travel writer Harvey and how outward appearances can deceive. Upstanding and obligating, Harvey is also stubborn. Having had children with a previous marriage, he refuses to have a baby with her. This causes Jessica to connive her way into pregnancy. Her feelings about her marriage are further put under question when she starts to have inappropriate feelings for one of her captors, Jake. She tries to place Harvey into the fantasy, but the fire dies when she does so.

Description of Unhappy Marriage

In this excerpt, Jessica reflects upon Harvey’s technique for blocking the issue of starting a family, which eventually widens into a full-blown marital rift.

Harvey’s solution to problems seemed to be silence. Jess wished he would broach the subject, even if it was an attack on it, argue the point, make a stand, but he never did. The silence grew. Jess felt it solidify. Any attempt to breach the wall would have to be hers and hers alone. Imagined or not, Jess felt cornered and on the opposing side, Harvey stood in allegiance along with his principles, judging her.

Further down the line, Harvey uses the same tactic in his refusal to discuss their son’s disturbing behavior. His lack of communication becomes a form of punishment, but also a form of preservation. Jess’s time being stuck in a room forces her to reevaluate such things that maintain the marriage’s stability and begins to see them as a slow rot. Perhaps it is only the trauma of being kidnapped by thugs that pushes Jess out of her comfort zone and finally confront the demons that alienate her from her husband.

Excerpt from The Shuttered Room by Charles J Harwood

Further links relating to this novel

Challenge of writing fiction on abduction theme

What if human behavior had a voice?

Clinical narcissist in fiction

Stories of inner gremlins and ego states

Stockholm syndrome relationship