Writing Your Message

Writing the Message

In this section we will explore general guidelines to write a message. Our focus will not be a on the format of a specific document, but on more important and general principle issues, ensuring any message you write will be as effective as it can be.

General Message Creating Tips

These lessons are also applicable to oral communication though more common to written messages.

Sensitive to Audience Needs

• The You Attitude
• - Buid your message around your audience, instead of yourself. Always show how your audience benefits, rather than how you benefit (example: Instead of "we need your product number from you to do this", you can say "in order to process your order quickly, we need to know your product number")
• Etiquette Standards
• - Be courteuous and don't overreact.
• Emphasize Positive
• - Bad news is inevitable, but can always be presented in a way that highlights the positive side. (example: instead of "we are closed for renovation", you can say "we are now renovating in order to serve you better!"
• Bias-free Language
• - Be careful about offending your audience. Ensure the language you use is free of Gender, Race, Age, Religous or Disability bias.

Style and Tone

Formal

• Shows a limited range of emotions and avoids emotive punctuation such as exclamation points, ellipsis (…), etc.
• No contractions should be used to simplify words (in other words use "It is" rather than "It's"). Abbreviations must be spelt out in full when first used
• Disconnected from the topic and does not use the first person point of view (I or we) or second person (you)

Informal

• Similar to a spoken conversation.
• Includes slang, figures of speech, broken syntax, asides and so on.
• Takes personal tone as if you were speaking directly to your audience (the reader).
• There may be incomplete sentences or abbreviation.

Format and Structure

General Format Issues

Any written document will have some format requirements. Before memorizing the format, try to understand why each requirement is there. Each format requirement will have a specific purpose, therefore thinking about the purpose of the document will ensure that it is written correctly and will fulfill its purpose.

General format requirements

• To/From - who are you writing this letter to and who is it coming from? The more formal the document, the more to/from details you need to include (i.e. a full address for a letter and just a name and department for a memo)
• Subject/Header - this helps people understand the document, and also identify it. Some formats will include identification numbers (example: receipts, invoices)
• Date - when was this sent? This is important for record keeping and to track lots of different documents

General Shape of Your Message

Subject

Elements of a Paragraph

1. Topic Sentence
2. - The first sentence usually defines the idea that is to be contained in that paragraph (ie your Label). When busy people quickly read messages, they skim through and use the first sentence of the paragraph to tell them if they want to read the rest of the paragraph. If you put something important only in the middle of the paragraph, your audience may miss it!
3. Support Sentence
4. - The explanation and evidence. Once you get the attention of the reader, then you can take your time and explain in detail what your ideas are. Here is where you Build, with your logic and evidence.
5. Transitional Elements
6. - things you use to move on to another paragraph. Ensuring one paragraph connects to another paragraph helps to hold your reader's attention. Some of the things you can us are like; using More detail (furthermore, in addition to), Relationship (therefore, because, thus), Comparison (however, similarly), Illustration (for example, in this case), Time (after that, sometimes), Summary (in brief, in summary) and Repetition (in other words, in conclusion).

General Writing Tips

• Not too long (for paragraphs and entire message)
  • Paragraphs and messages that are too long get less attention from busy readers. If you have many shorter paragraphs, it is easier for readers to find what they want to read, ensuring your message is more effective.
• Introduction and Closing Paragraph (should catch attention, emphasize main ideas)
  • The Opening paragraph is important to catch your reader's attention. It should be interesting but at the same time, cleary explain what your entire message is about. The Closing paragraph is used to remind your readers what your main ideas were and therefore make them stronger. So briefly summarize your ideas and re-emphasize what you want the reader to know/do.
• Vary sentence length - short and long sentences
  • Short sentences have an advantage because they have punch, are dramatic and can be used to easily and powerfully make a point. But if you have too many the message becomes choppy, broken and hard to read. Long sentences can hold more information and explain complex ideas. But if you have too many your message becomes boring and confusing. So have some short and some long sentences and mix them up. This makes the reading more effective and more exciting.
• Using lists and bullets (helps explain complex ideas)
  • Messages don't have to only contain paragraphs (even if it's a letter!). Bullets and lists are easier to read, especially if you have many similar details (for example, phone numbers to call, venues of your branches) and therefore makes it easier for your reader to understand and find information.
• Subjects/Headings – for letter/email, and for new section of paragraphs
  • The subject is very important to quickly find information, and decide how much attention to pay to a particular section. If your message is long, break it up into different sections and have separate subjects and heading.

Communicating Negative Messages

Writing Negative Messages

Introduction

Negative messages is bad news. Your audience doesn't want to hear your bad news, and could hate you for it. But bad news cannot be helped. It happens. However how you deal with bad news can often make your audience trust and respect you more!

Steps:

1. Purpose
2. Planning your Medium
3. Direct vs. Indirect

Purpose

Negative messages can be very simple or very complex.

• Simple - reject application.
  • If you are just saying no. For example, "No, we don't have your requested book".
• Complex - reject application AND give feedback AND help develop improvement plan
  • If you are saying no and more, that makes the message more complex. For example, "No, we don't have your requested book. It sold out last Monday. However you are willing to wait 4 days, we can get you a copy. Can you send us your mailing address?"

Planning Medium

The medium you choose is important. It reflects sincerity and helps improves level of acceptance. The more important your message is, the more time you should spend on your message and be as personal as you can. So the most important message, would require Oral Media, and least important can be through a Text Message or Email.

Direct vs Indirect Approach

1. Will the news be shocking? - If the user is going to be very shocked, use the indirect approach to give the message more gently.
2. How Important is the news? - If the news is urgent and the user needs to know the news quickly, then be direct. If the new is emotionally or personally very important, indirect.
3. Do you need to get the reader's attention? - If you need to quickly get the user's attention, then be direct. Indirect messages can sometimes be confusing. Example, if you have sent a few emails to your reader and there is no response, your next email should be more direct.
4. Do you want follow up information? - If you want your reader to respond to you have perhaps have a discussion, then be indirect. If you write more information, you are being more conversational and opening to respond. Direct signifies finality and an end to the communication.
5. What would your audience prefer? - As always, your audience is the most important person. For example, if you are writing to your busy boss, have a direct approach. Or in some cultural contexts, bad news should be delivered face-to-face.

Direct Approach

• Start with clear statement of bad news
• Explain reasons
• End with positive note

Indirect Approach

• Start with neutral statement/buffer
• Explain Reasoning
• Clear statement
• End with positive note

Neutral Statements/Buffers

An indirect negative message will start with a few statements are not related to the main point of your message. This is to balance the negative news and hope your reader sees the positive part of the message more.

• Good News - Start with positive part or some good news first. Example: We have managed to find the book you requested, but it will take 4 days to get here.
• Agreement - Mentions things that both of you agree on. Example: We both know how competitive the racing business is.
• Appreciation - Express your gratitude to your audience, praise them for their work. Example: Thank you very much for your excellent letter, however, we don't....
• Fairness - Talk about how honest, sincere, fair you are or are trying to be. You are telling your reader that you have closely examine problem and are trying to fix it. Example: Our company puts our customers first, and we have done everything possible to try to locate your lost sweater. However...
• Cooperation - Explain your willingness to cooperate and work together with your reader. Example: We promise that we will work as hard as possible and be willing to meet with you. However, ....

Apology Videos

Here are a few videos of apologies issued by companies to repair their image after huge crisis situations.

Mattel Recalls Toys

Mattel is the World's largest toy maker. In around August 2008, there was a huge scandal about defective and poisonous toys from China, and many companies had to recall they toys. Many parents were very very worried. Mattel responded by posting a video by their CEO.

More info :Mattel CEO's Online Video Apology For Millions Of Toy Recalls

Watch the video!

JetBlue CEO Apologises for Flight Delay

JetBlue is an American carrier, who had some serious flight delay issues in February 2007 (passengers had to wait for 11 hours on the plane). Their CEO posted this apology on YoutTube.

More info : Jet Blue apology

Watch Video!

Communicating Persuasive Messages

The Elements of Persuasion

A persuasive message is a balance of Logic, Evidence and Emotion. A successful communicator must use all 3 when trying to persuade his or her audience.

- Logic

- Emotion

- Evidence/Examples

The two important things to ensure is Balance and Consistency. You must ensure you have all 3 Logic, Emotion and Evidence, and balance it based on what you audience prefers. If your audience is very logical, they will prefer more logic, but still have a little evidence and emotion.

You also should be consistent. The Logic, Evidence and Emotion should be related to each other and help each other. If you Logic and Evidence is about something sad or angry, then your emotion should also be that way.

THINK

1. Exact purpose. What exactly do you want to persuade your audience?

• You can persuade them of a larger goal, rather than to just fulfill your immediate need. Example: Instead of "Buy my health product", persuade "We must lead healthy lives"
• Must be direct. Asking directly can be uncomfortable, but not asking leads to never receiving. At some point in your communication,you must clearly and directly state what you want. Never simply assume your audience understands.
• To realize your limitations and correct them. If you are not direct, you don't really understand what you are asking of your audience and thus may be asking them too much. Example: If you are in real-estate and are sending a letter to someone to sell them a building. You can't ask someone to buy a 10 million dollar building through just one letter, the purpose of the letter is not to get them to buy the building, but to get them interested enough to meet with you.

2. Knowing your Audience is very important for persuasive messages. In addition to the usual questions we ask ourselves as part of Audience Analysis, we should also ask

• What facts and examples will influence them more?
• What is the right balance of logic and emotion?
• What values and beliefs do they share with you?

3. Direct vs. Indirect Approach

• direct approach
  • stronger, clearer
  • better for smaller change
  • usually from a position of authority
  • can sometimes be rude
• indirect approach
  • diplomatic, polite
  • better for larger change
  • heavily influenced by cultural context, position of authority
  • can sometimes be weak and confusing

PLAN/BUILD

1. A four step process : AIDA

• Attention
• Interest
• Desire
• Action

Attention

- get reader's attention

- what are the benefits? start with a stimulating question, a shocking fact, an amazing offer.

- short, simple, provocative.

1. The strongest benefit

2. Common ground with the audience

3. Piece of real news

4. Appeal to emotions or values

5. The promise of Savings

6. A solution to a problem

Interest

- appeal to interest - further explain benefits, balance logical and emotional appeal, use examples

Desire

- show how you can help your audience, connect the solution to the problem, give more specific information.

- anticipate objections

Action

- encourage your audience to take action, make it clear and easy for them

- call this number? email? visit website? discount for first 100?

General Tips

1. Use Simple Language - don't want to confuse audience. Also, audience will be critical, so don't try to manipulate them.

2. Support Message with facts - Examples, statistics, research reports, all add to your credibility. Must name your sources.

3. Establish Common ground - what do you and your audience have in common?

4. Be objective - helps you be fair and logical.

5. Display your good intentions - be sincere and honest. Helps build trust

A.I.D.A Examples

<purpose>

To persuade my reader to buy vitamins, by persuading them to click on a webpage

Hello,

<attention>

Do your eyes hurt from reading emails?

<interest>

In today's fast-paced and electronics filled world, we put our bodies under so much stress! There really isn't any time to relax, to properly exercise, to regularly eat balanced meals.

That's why you need Dr.Bruce Wayne's Super Health Supplements, made from 100% natural products. Eat it with your meals, and it gives you all the vitamins and minerals your body needs!

<desire>

The SHS comes in Large (300 pills), Medium (150) and Small (50) bottles, and you can choose what you need! You are not forced to buy anything you don't want! Also, if you do not feel any improvement in 15 days, send us back the remaining pills for a full refund!

<action>

Click here to read more about SHS on the World Medical Association Website, or here to visit Dr.Logan's homepage and online store. You don't have to buy if you don't want to, but remember, once you lose your health, you can't buy it back!

<purpose>

To persuade my boss to buy an expresso machine. I want to make him interested, and agree to talk to me about it.

Dear Sir,

<attention>

According to a KoreaHerald survey of 245 Korean top firms, the 2nd highest reason for time wasting in the office is going out to buy coffee.

<interest>

Supposedly, employees take longer lunch breaks to have coffee after lunch. Employees who have coffee in the office however, usually drink it at their desk. The article went on to say that some companies have promoted casual coffee areas, because often employees can talk about complex work issues in a relaxed way. This saves time on having meetings and sending a long list of emails.

<desire>

I was at E-Mart during the weekend and noticed a 30% discount on a really good expresso machine. Also, the employee association has agreed that if the company can buy a machine, they will take care of all the coffee, the cups, the reloading and the maintenance fee.

<action>

In summary, I think the office will benefit if we have an expresso machine. Can we meet up later and talk about if the company can buy an expresso machine?

<purpose>

To persuade my friends to Europe instead of South East Asia for holiday.

Hi Guys,

<attention>

Look, I know we are all worried about losing money in the stock market, but I still believe that it will be better for us to stick to our plan to visit Europe.

<interest>

We've wanted to do go to Europe ever since we were in Elementary School, and if we keep delaying it, we won't have many more chances to do it together. If one of you get engaged next year, or get a job overseas, then it will be impossible. Also, I think the financial crunch could actually lower prices because there is less demand from tourism. This also means the tourist places will be less crowded!

<desire>

Actually I was doing some quick searching and I found some cheap tickets on tourcabin.com. If we book in the next two weeks and do the group package, we can get tickets for about 700,000 each! I can book it using my credit card and you can pay me back later.

<action>

So what do you say? Call or email if you agree (or disagree) ! =]