Archives‎ > ‎Issue 3‎ > ‎

Bekah Steimel

I.

 

The long distance call to you

still unanswered

the round world offers nothing new

I’ve been here before

and before that

discovering only the dents

of previous steps

this mission is neither rescue

nor recovery

the hour has aged

beyond either

the round spinning clock

the round steady sun

they only move on

offering nothing but the new

a lesson to study and practice

to perfect

and live brilliantly

but I am not a clock

and I am not the sun

my spinning memories

my steady heart

keep me rooted in recollection

and reverie

this grief is nothing new

I’ve been here before

and before that

 

 

II.

 

She’s a pure personality

with no chemical additives

I envy this

as I envy the seed

that lands in fertile soil

it is the will of the wind

and you cannot bribe the breeze

my only option

was to take root in loose gravel

and push my way through rocks

to have a shot at the sun

she was born in a garden

well-kept and weeded daily

allowed to grow unencumbered

and fully ripen

under the protection of scarecrows

and green thumbs

again

I envy this

but am learning to respect the seedling

that battled boulders and droughts

battled the rocky burial

of her beginning

and still touched the same sovereign sky

to smile back at the sun

 

 

III.

 

Have you ever killed a chorus of candles

just to wish for one more?

spent your time obsessing

about how you spent your time?

do not fall in love with your death

do not make a mistress out of mystery

such an uneven affair

has married me to misery

separated my thoughts

from the daily joys of simple existence

the sun is always setting

and my plans never outlast the stars

compulsive carpe diem is a curse

I’ve never saved for a rainy day

or any day

beyond this one

I’m in love with my death

and such an uneven affair

has divorced me from my life

 

 

Bekah Steimel is an internationally published poet living in St. Louis, MO. Her pastimes include flirting, drinking whiskey and making people uncomfortable. Find her in Deep Water Literary, Gutter Eloquence, The RPD Society, Vayavya, Verity La and more. Visit www.bekahsteimel.com.