Marriage: Success

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

• What kind of spouse should I be?

• How can I make my marriage successful?

• What does a Christian/Biblical marriage look like?

• What are God’s thoughts on divorce?

Note: Please study these revelations from the perspective of how YOU personally can be a better Christian spouse, not to see how your spouse needs to improve. Your spouse will be blessed and encouraged as you become a more Christian spouse yourself.

Note: While many of the passages below are specifically within the context of marriage in the Bible, but some are given within a context of human relationships in general. However, those general relationship passages also apply to the marriage relationship which is one of the most important relationship among God’s people on earth.

CONTENTS:

• Adultery condemned

• All things are possible with God

• Apologize / ask forgiveness

• Anger – Remove

• Be an example

• Blessings of marriage

• Challenges are for your good

• Contention – Remove

• Contentment with what you have

• Coveting / envying – Remove

• Direction for husbands

• Direction for wives

• Endure to the end / longsuffering

• Happiness, true source of?

• Honor

• Head of House

• Humility

• Hypocrite – Don’t be one

• Judging – Remove

• Focus on improving / changing yourself (not your spouse)

• Forgive (then God will forgive you)

• Gentleness

• Give all of yourself

• Golden Rule – Live it

• Guard your thoughts

• Humility

• Keep your covenants & promises

• Kindness

• Listen

• Live joyfully with your spouse

• Love is a choice (and a commandment)

• Love unconditionally

• Love your spouse = Love/know God

• Love your spouse as God loves them

• Love your spouse as God & Christ love you

• Love your spouse as you love yourself

• Loving our spouse covers our sins

• Marriage union symbolizes Jesus’s union with God’s people

• Overcome temptation with God’s help

• Patience

• Peace

• Power together

• Pride – Remove

• Remember that we are currently all very imperfect

• Remember that your spouse will be perfect in the next life

• Respond softly to harsh words

• Selfishness – Remove

• Selflessness – Add

• Serve your spouse / Servant / Submission

• Stay together

• Thank God for what you have

• Trust in God

• Virtue

• Divorce allowed only because of our hard hearts

• Divorce (except for fornication) is adultery

• Divorce, God discourages

• Divorce, God hates

• False/Non-Biblical ideas about marriage

ADULTERY CONDEMNED:

• 1 Cor. 6:9-10 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers… shall inherit the kingdom of God

• Gen. 39:7-9 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me, But he refused, and said unto his master’s wife…Thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

• Exo. 20:14 Thou shalt not commit adultery

• Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge

• Lev. 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death

• Matt. 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies

• Prov. 6:32 Whoso committeth adultery … lacketh understanding

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD:

• Mark 10:26 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible

APOLOGIZE / ASK FORGIVENESS:

• 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness

• Eph. 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath

• James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much

• Matt. 5:23-24 Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering

• Matt. 12:25 Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand

ANGER – REMOVE:

• 1 Cor. 13:4-5 Charity… is not easily provoked

• 1 Peter 2:1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings

• Col. 3:8 Put off all these; anger, wrath, malice

• Eph. 4:31 Bitterness … and anger … be put away

• James 1:19 Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

• Neh. 9:7 Thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness

• Ps 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath

• Prov. 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly

• Prov. 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding

• Prov. 15:18 He that is slow to anger appeaseth strife

• Prov. 16:32 slow to anger is better than the mighty

• Prov. 21:14 A gift in secret pacifieth anger

BE AN EXAMPLE (especially to our kids):

• 1 Tim. 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity

• Matt. 5:14 You are the light of the world

• Prov. 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

BLESSINGS OF MARRIAGE:

• Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled

• Prov. 5:18-19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth, Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

• Prov. 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband

• Prov. 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife (or husband) findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord

• Prov. 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord

• Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies

CHALLENGES ARE FOR YOUR GOOD:

• Rom. 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose

CONTENTION – REMOVE:

• 1. Cor. 11:16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God

• 1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing

• Gen. 13:8 Let there be no strife

• James 3:16 Where envying and strife is, there is confusion

• Prov. 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention

• Prov. 15:8 He that is slow to anger appeaseth strife

• Prov. 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house

• Prov. 18:6 Fool’s lips enter into contention

• Prov. 18:19 Their contentions are like the bars of a castle

• Prov. 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman

• Prov. 26:21 As coals … so is a contentious man to kindle strife

• Rom. 2:8 But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath

• Titus 3:9 Avoid foolish questions … and contentions

CONTENTMENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE:

• 1 Cor. 7:17, 20 As God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches… Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called (Note: Context is marriage)

• 1 Tim. 6:6 Godliness with contentment is great gain

COVETING / ENVYING – REMOVE:

• 1 Tim. 6:10 Love of money is the root of all evil

• Deut. 5:21 Neither shalt thou covet … any thing that is thy neighbour’s

• Exo 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s

• Luke 12:15 Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth

DIRECTION FOR HUSBANDS/MEN:

• 1 Cor. 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed

• 1 Cor. 10:13-16 To the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

• 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered

• Eccl. 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun

• Eph. 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church

• Gen. 39:7-9 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me, But he refused, and said unto his master’s wife…Thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

• Prov. 5:18-19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth, Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

• Prov. 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord

• Prov. 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord

DIRECTION FOR WIVES/WOMEN:

• 1 Cor. 10:13-16 To the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy… For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

• Gen. 2:18-21 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him… And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof, And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man

• Gen. 3:16 Unto the woman he said… thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee

• Gen. 39:7-9 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me, But he refused, and said unto his master’s wife…Thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

• Prov. 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband

• Titus 2:4 Teach the young women … to love their husbands, to love their children

• Prov. 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones

• Prov. 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord

ENDURE TO THE END / LONGSUFFERING:

• 2 Cor. 6:1, 4, 6 We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain… But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God… By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned

• Col. 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering

• Gal. 5:22 The fruit of the Spirit is … longsuffering…

• John 13:1 Having loved his own … he loved them unto the end

FOCUS ON IMPROVING & CHANGING YOURSELF, NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE:

• 1 Cor. 9:25 every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate

• Matt. 7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye

• Prov. 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls

FORGIVE (THEN GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU)

• 2 Cor. 2:6-8 Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many, So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow, Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him

• Col. 3:12-13 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering. Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

• Eph. 4:32 Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you

• Luke 6:37 Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven

• Luke 7:42 they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them

• Luke 17:3-4 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him, And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him

• Matt. 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors

• Matt. 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven

• Matt. 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you (require of you the payment for your sins), if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses

• Prov. 10:12 Love covereth all sins

GENTLENESS:

• 2 Sam. 22:36 Thy gentleness hath made me great

• Eph. 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace

• Gal. 5:22 The fruit of the Spirit is … longsuffering, gentleness…

GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF:

• 2 Cor. 9:7 God loveth a cheerful giver

• John 10:17 My Father love me, because I lay down my life

• John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it

• John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends

• Matt. 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it

GOLDEN RULE – LIVE IT:

• 1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing

• Gal. 5:14 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

• James 2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well

• Luke 6:31 As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise

• Mark 12:31 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

• Matt. 7:12 All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them

HAPPINESS, SOURCE OF? (Serve, have faith, be wise, be merciful, keep God’s law, endure etc.):

• 1 Peter 3:14 If ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye

• James 5:11 We count them happy which endure

• Job. 5:15 Happy is the man whom God correcteth

• John 13:16-17 The servant is not greater than his lord… If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them

• John 16:33 Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world

• Ps. 146:5 Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help

• Prov. 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom

• Prov. 14:21 He that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he

• Prov. 16:20 He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he

• Prov. 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he

HEAD OF HOUSE:

• 1 Cor. 11:13 The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God

HONOR:

• 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered

HUMILITY:

• Acts 20:19 Serving the Lord with all humility of mind

• Col. 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering

• Prov. 3:12 Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth

• Prov. 13:18 he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured

• Prov. 29:23 Honour shall uphold the humble in spirit

HYPOCRITE – DON’T BE ONE:

• 1 Peter 2:1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings

• James 3:10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing

• Matt. 7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye

• Rom. 2:21 Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal? Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit adultery? thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege? Thou that makest thy boast of the law, through breaking the law dishonourest thou God?

• Titus 1:6 They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate

JUDGING – REMOVE:

• Matt 7:1 Judge not that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again

KEEP YOUR COVENANTS & PROMISES:

• Deut. 23:21-23 When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee… That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth

• Eccl. 5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed

• Ezek. 12:25 I say the word, and will perform it

• Jer. 33:14 I will perform that good thing which I have promised

• Num. 30:2-3,16 If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth, If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth, And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand… These are the statutes, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house

• Matt. 5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

• Ps. 89:34 My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips

KINDNESS:

• 2 Peter 1:3-7 The Lord… hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue… giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge, And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness, And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity

• 1 Peter 2:1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings

• 2 Cor. 6:1, 4, 6 We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain… But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God… By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned

• Col. 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering

• Eph. 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you

• Isa. 54:8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer

• Isa. 54:10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee

• Neh. 9:7 Thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness

• Ps. 31:21 Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness

• Rom. 12:10 Kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love

LISTEN TO YOUR SPOUSE:

• James 1:19 Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

• Jer. 13:15 Give ear; be not proud

LIVE JOYFULLY WITH YOUR SPOUSE:

• Eccl. 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES:

• Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do

• Matt. 5:39 I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also

• Matt. 5:44-48 Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven, for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust, For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect

LOVE IS A CHOICE (AND A COMMANDMENT):

• 1 John 3:23 Love one another, as he gave us commandment

• 1 John 4:10-11 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another

• 1 Peter 1:22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently

• 1 Thes. 3:12 Abound in love one toward another

• 1 Thes. 5:8 Let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love

• 2 Peter 1:3-7 The Lord… hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue… giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge, And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness, And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity

• Eph. 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church

• John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

• Titus 2:4 Teach the young women … to love their husbands, to love their children

LOVE, UNCONDITIONALLY:

• 1 Peter 1:Ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren… love one another with a pure heart fervently

• 1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing

• 2 Cor. 6:1, 4, 6 We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain… But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God… By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned

• Hos. 14:4 I will love them freely

• Isa. 54:8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer

• John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

• Lev. 19:3 The stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God

• Matt. 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

• Prov. 10:12 Love covereth all sins

• Prov. 17:17 A friend loveth at all times

LOVE YOUR SPOUSE = YOU LOVE/KNOW GOD:

• 1 John 2:10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light

• 1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love

• 1 John 4:16 God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God

• John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

LOVE YOUR SPOUSE AS GOD LOVES YOUR SPOUSE:

• 1 John 4:7 Love one another: for love is of God

• John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son

• Prov. 17:17 A friend loveth at all times

LOVE YOUR SPOUSE AS GOD & CHRIST LOVE YOU:

• 1 John 4:21 He who loveth God love his brother

• 1 John 5:2 We love the children of God, when we love God

• Eph. 5:2 Walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us

• Eph. 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church

• Matt. 5:44 Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven

• Prov. 17:17 A friend loveth at all times

LOVE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF:

• Lev. 19:3 The stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God

• Prov. 10:12 Love covereth all sins

• Rom. 13:9 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

LOVING OTHERS COVERS OUR OWN SINS:

• 1 Peter 4:8 Above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins

MADE FOR EACH OTHER:

• Gen. 2:22-24 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man, And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh

MARRIAGE UNION SYMOLIZES THE UNION OF JESUS & GOD’S PEOPLE:

• Rev. 19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready

OVERCOME TEMPTATION WITH GOD’S HELP:

• 1. Cor. 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it

• 2 Peter 2:9 Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations

• James 1:22 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation

• Matt. 6:13 Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us

• Matt. 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation

• Prov. 1:10 If sinners entice thee, consent thou not

PATIENCE:

• 1 Peter 1:3 The Lord… hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue… giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge, And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness, And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity

• 1 Peter 2:20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God

• 1 Tim. 6:1 Follow after … patience

• Eph. 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace

• Heb. 12:1-2 Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God

• James 5:8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh

• Luke 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls

• Matt. 18:21-22 Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven

• Rom. 2:27 To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal lifc

• Rom. 5:3 Tribulation worketh patience

PEACE/UNITY:

• Eph. 4:2-3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace

POWER TOGETHER:

• Eccl. 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

• Note: Marriage brings great power to your family and children. Adding the Lord to the equation (strand #3) adds much more power.

PRIDE – REMOVE:

• 1 Tim. 6:4 He is proud, knowing nothing

• Deut. 8:14 Thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the Lord

• Isa. 5:21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes

• James 4:6 God resisteth the proud

• Jer. 13:15 Give ear; be not proud

• Matt. 23:12 Whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased

• Obad. 1:3 The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground?

• Prov. 8:13 Pride, and arrogancy … I hate

• Prov. 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention

• Prov. 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction

PRUDENCE / WISDOM:

• Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies

REMEMBER THAT ALL ARE IMPERFECT IN THIS LIFE:

• Rom. 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

REMEMBER THAT WE WIL BE PERFECT IN THE NEXT LIFE (this includes both our natures/attitudes as well as our bodies):

• 1 Cor. 15:42-44 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption, It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power, It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body

• 1 John 3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is

• 1 Tim. 4:8 Godliness is profitable… having the promise of the life… which is to come

• 2 Peter 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature

• Eph. 4:13 Unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ

• Heb. 12:10 That we might be partakers of [God’s] holiness

• Lev. 19:2 Ye shall be holy: for I the Lord your God am holy

• Philippians 3:20-21 Jesus Christ… shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body

• Phlpns 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded

RESPOND SOFTLY TO HARSH WORDS:

• 1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing

• Col. 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace

• Prov. 15:18 He that is slow to anger appeaseth strife

SELFISHNESS – REMOVE:

• Isa. 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way

• John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it

• Matt. 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

SELFLESSNESS – ADD:

• 1 Cor. 13:5 Charity… seeketh not her own

• Gal. 5:14 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

• James 2:8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well

• John 10:17 My Father love me, because I lay down my life

• John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends

• Luke 6:31 As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise

• Mark 12:31 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

• Matt. 7:12 All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them

• Matt. 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it

• Rom. 13:9 Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

SERVE & HELP YOU SPOUSE:

• 1 Cor. 7:21-22 Art thou called being a servant? Care not for it… For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman

• 1 Cor. 11:13 The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God

• Gal. 5:13 ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another

• Gen. 2:18-21 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him

• Matt. 5:40 if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also, And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain, Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away

• Prov. 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones

STAY TOGETHER:

• Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate

• Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone

THANK GOD FOR WHAT YOU HAVE:

• 1 Thess. 5:18 In every thing give thanks

• Eph. 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God

THOUGHTS, GUARD THEM:

• Col. 3:12 As the elect of God … humbleness of mind

• Matt. 5:28 Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart

• Phillip 2:8 He humbled himself, and became obedient unto death

• Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

• Prov. 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he

TRUST IN GOD:

• 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment

• Prov. 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths

• Josh. 1:9 Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go

• Rom. 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose

VIRTUE:

• 2 Peter 1:3-7 The Lord… hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue

• Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

• Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies

DIVORCE ALLOWED ONLY BECUASE OF “HARDNESS OF HEART”

• Matthew 19:6-7 They are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

DIVORCE (EXCEPT FOR THE CAUSE OF FORNICATION) IS ADULTERY:

• Matthew 19:6-7 Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement?… Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your [spouses]: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his [spouse], except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery

• Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery

DIVORCE, GOD HATES:

• Mal. 2:15-16 Take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the (spouse) of his youth, For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away

DIVORCE, DISCOURAGED OF THE LORD:

• 1 Cor. 7:27 Art thou bound unto a [spouse]? Seek not to be loosed.

• 1 Cor. 10:11-12 Unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife

• 1 Cor. 10:13-16 To the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

• Matt. 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder

NON-BIBLICAL/FALSE IDEAS & ATTITUDES ABOUT MARRIAGE (Bible principles in blue):

• “I deserve better” (What we all actually deserve is punishment for our sins)

• “If my spouse yells at me, I should yell back” (We should respond to anger with a calm voice)

• “I should only have to put in 50% to the marriage” (We are to give our whole selves)

• “I can’t change my spouse” (We are to work on our own imperfections and sins)

• “I cannot control whether or not I love my spouse” (Love is a choice, even a commandment)

• “My spouse cannot meet my needs” (We are to serve our spouse, not demand. God alone meets our needs)

• “I should divorce my spouse if they are not a believer” (We are to remain with our unbelieving spouse)

• “I should get a divorce if I am unhappy in my marriage” (True happiness comes from service and trust in God)