Musings on Manhattan

Musings on Manhattan by a Simpleton from Maine

Contrary to popular opinion, the people in New York City (Manhattan, anyway) are generally friendly and polite, especially the women (probably because I am non threatening). I have also found the service in most restaurants and bars to be very good. The smaller and less commercialized the establishment (i.e., not a chain or tourist trap), the better the service.  Here's a picture of me with my buds Brian and Chris at the former Times Square Brewery.

The food is excellent, with a wide variety available. Prices are reasonable given the quality and quantity received.

You can get almost anything you want, anywhere in the city, at any time. This is very dangerous to some, especially me.

It's crowded, noisy, and filthy in certain locations. Lots of trash. Everyone seems to be rushing somewhere. But hey, it's a big city with a lot of people, so this is no surprise.

It's pretty safe, especially near the tourist areas, and cops are always around. Saw about 15 of them arresting someone near my hotel. He must of stole one of their doughnuts. Off with his head!

There's plenty to do, if you have plenty of money. And there's plenty of ATMs around, charging you plenty to get your money.

At times, it is refreshing to actually hear English being spoken on the streets.

There appears to be no more whackos here than in any other city (thanks Mayor Giuliani).

Most everyone who lives in Manhattan is from somewhere else, which could explain my first observation.

Being a big city, there's lots of famous people around, and lots of pictures of them being around. I met Will Ferrell in Fiddlers Green, an Irish pub near Rockefeller Plaza. He was very hospitable... after all, I did buy him a Guinness.  Of course, I got a picture, otherwise no one would believe me.

Times Square has really been cleaned up and has become an odd mix of Disneyland and Las Vegas. Personally, I miss the culture the prostitutes brought to the area.

The Empire State building is best observed from afar. A visit to its observatory is disappointing, unless you enjoy looking at the vistas of the city though a crowded, windy, over-sized jail cell. King Kong didn't fall because he was shot -- he was bored stiff.

You stand a better chance of winning the lottery than hailing an unoccupied taxi in Soho at 3:00 AM on a Sunday morning. Doesn’t matter if you are black, white, or green. There's none to be had.

I've heard that paying $2000 per month for a small, 1 bedroom apartment is considered normal. For far less than that, I have an 8-room colonial with a 2-car garage on 3 acres of land in Maine. But "they" are in the city. Yep, "they" certainly are.

Walk and Don't Walk signs are merely for show, and drivers say hello to each other by frequently honking their horns.

Folks here are very image and fashion conscious. They call it being "cosmopolitan." When I meet them, I remark right away that I'm from Maine. This tactic appears to grant me a temporary cosmopolitan waiver of sorts.

Manhattan has to have more camera/electronic shops per capita than any other city in the world, and many are run by somewhat shady characters. They charge ridiculous prices, make you negotiate for everything, and then are insulted when you do not buy. Some of them are downright nasty and abusive to customers. They must survive solely on ignorant tourists who do not question their prices or practices.

Two true stories regarding the above:

I saw a pair of really good binoculars that I liked, and after great consternation on my part the salesman dropped the price from $249 to $189 for me. How nice. Upon going to the register to pay for them, I noticed the exact same binoculars on a shelf priced (in the box) at $169. I mentioned this to the owner, and he gave me the $20 difference (as my charge card had already gone through) remarking that the "stock boys are always marking things wrong." Sure. I then asked him for another dollar (the difference in the taxes between $189 and $169). He grumbled, and then gave it to me. I bet I still paid too much for them, but at least I squeezed one more dollar out of the smelly bastard.

I bought a small pocket-sized tripod for my camera. On my way out of the store, I stopped to look at some watches (a mistake, of course). The owner, who had sold me the tripod, promptly told the nearest salesman to help me and that the "management" has authorized substantial discounts for the watches. I looked at a Casio. The watch wasn't working. It was marked at $139. The salesman quickly ran to a phone, had a mock conversation with the management, and then came back and told me the price was now $89. The thing was worth no more than $40 at most. I laughed, said no thanks, and left. I heard him trying to beckon me back as I was leaving the store. Schmuck.

I like New York, but I love Maine... well, most of the time.