Introduction of Islam
Intrduction of Hajj
In a famous incident, a man came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked:
"O Messenger of Allah! to whom should I show kindness? He replied: Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then comes your father..." (Sunan Abu Dawud)
The Quran also discusses the immense honor and respect due to both parents, and especially to mother:
"And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination." (Luqman 31:14)
Al-Hamdulillah was-Salaatu was-Salaamu 'ala Rasoolillah wa Ba'd...
family ties is obligatory, as Allah says:“… fear Allah through Whom you demand
your mutual (rights), and (and do not cut of the relations of) the wombs
(kinship)…” [al-Nisa’ 4:1]
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
created His creation, and when He had finished, al-rahm (the tie of kinship)
got up. He said, ‘What is it?’ Al-rahm said: “This is the position of one who
is seeking refuge with You from being cut off.’ He said, ‘Will you not be
pleased if I should take care of the one who takes care of you, and cut off the
one who cuts you off?’ Al-rahm said, ‘Of course, O Lord.’ He said, ‘Then it
will be so.’”
ties of kinship means being kind to one’s relatives, whether by giving them
material things or treating them well. The least of this is greeting them with
salaam and not forsaking them.
obligated the good treatment of parents that are mushrikin. Giving them respect
and kindness, in spite of the heinous sin which they are telling their child to
commit, which is the crime of associating something in worship with Allah. What
then do you think is the case with Muslim parents, especially if they are
‘O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then whom?’ He said, ‘Then your father.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4/13, and Muslim, 2548).
commanded us to treat our parents well, and He has linked this to the command
to worship Him and the prohibition of associating anything in worship with Him.
The rights of the mother in this regard have been emphasized more than those of
Ibn ‘Abbas said: “This means treating them with respect and kindness, and lowering the wing of humility to them, not answering them harshly or glaring at them, not raising one's voice to them, but being as humble towards them as a slave towards his master.”
Allah says: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, not shout at them, but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’” [al-Isra’ 17:23-24].
Al-Baghawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This means not saying anything that may contain the slightest hint of irritation. [The word ‘uff’ in the aayah, translated here as ‘a word of disrespect’] comes from the word ‘aff’, which is similar to the word ‘taff’; both words refer to the dirt that collects under fingernails, and [in Arabic] when one is annoyed and fed up with something, one says ‘uff!’ to it.”
al-Tajeebi said: “I said to Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab: ‘I understood everything in
the Qur’an about respecting one’s parents, apart from the aayah “But address them in terms of honour” [al-Isra’ 17:23]. What
are these terms of honour [al-qawl al-kareem]?’
Makhool said: “Respecting one’s parents is an expiation for major sins.”
You have to be patient with your mother and put up with the harsh treatment on her part, which at times maybe upsetting to you. By treating her with respect and dealing with her kindly, you will earn her good pleasure and love. Try to avoid things that will provoke her and make her angry, even if they are in your interests, without causing harm to yourself.
has many major rights over her child. These rights are innumerable, but we may
mention the following:
‘O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’”
She is the
one who made her womb a vessel for you and nourished you from her breast. You
have no option but to love her. The fitrah (natural inclination of man) calls
you to love her. Love between mothers and children and children and mothers is
something that Allah has instilled even in animals, so it is even more
befitting for the children of human beings, and for Muslims in particular.
take precedence over jihad if there is a conflict between the two.
offending them or saying or doing anything that they dislike.
If Allah has
forbidden us even to say “uff” [paraphrased as “a word of disrespect” in the translation
of the meaning of the aayah] to our parents, then how about someone who hits
“Three men went out walking and rain began to fall on them. They entered a cave in a mountain, then a rock fell (blocking the entrance to the cave). They said to one another, Pray to Allah by virtue of the best deeds that you have done. One of them said, O Allah, my parents were elderly and I used to go out and tend to my flocks, then I would milk them and bring the milk to my parents for them to drink from it, then I would give some to my children. One night I came home late and found them sleeping. I did not want to wake them, and the children were crying at my feet. I kept waiting and the children kept crying until dawn broke. O Allah, if You knew that I did that for Your sake, then open a way for us through which we can see the sky. So a way was opened for them…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2102; Muslim, 2743)!
her when she tells you to do something good. But if she tells you to do
something bad, such as shirk, then there should be no obedience to any created
being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
one’s mother dies, it is Sunnah to fulfil any vows that she had made, and to
give charity and perform Hajj and ‘Umrah on her behalf.
“My mother vowed to go for Hajj, but she died before she did so. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Do you not think that if your mother owed a debt that you would pay it off for her? Fulfil her debt to Allah, for Allah is more deserving that what is owed to Him should be paid.” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1754).
she dies, it is also Sunnah to honour her by maintaining ties with those whom
she used to keep in touch with, such as her relatives and friends.
“The best of righteous deeds is for a man to keep in touch with his father’s friends after he dies.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2552).
she should take care of you when you are a child, breastfeeding and nurturing
you. This is a well-known aspect of human nature that has been handed down from
the beginning of creation.
“The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling” [al-Baqarah 2:233]
should bring you up in a righteous manner, for she will be responsible for that
before Allah on the Day of Resurrection. You are part of her “flock” and she is
: ‘Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The imaam is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.’ I think that he said, ‘A man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829)
3 – Permissible things that it is permissible for you to do without your mother interfering in your affairs
She does not
have the right to make decisions about what you should like with regard to
permissible things over which she has no authority, such as food, drink,
clothing, means of transportation, etc.
“A man will
follow the way of his close friend, so let each of you look to who his close
have to watch when their child goes out and when he comes in, because they
should not give him free rein, especially if he is not righteous.
4 – Your father has the final say concerning everything that comes under his responsibility. For example, he is the one who decides in which school a child who is dependent on him will study. The father also has the final say concerning anything to do with his property, such as your using his car, taking his money, etc.
With regard to a son who is grown up and independent, he makes his own decisions concerning things that Allah has permitted. It is prescribed for him to please his father so long as that does not conflict with his obedience towards Allah. The son must continue to respect his father no matter how old he gets, because this has to do with honouring one’s parents and treating them kindly. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said:
“I never climbed onto the roof of a house in which my father was.”
If a father tells a child to do something good, or to stop doing something that is permissible, he should obey him so long as that will not cause the son any harm.
5 – With regard to how you can tell your mother that you want more freedom, this can be achieved by words and by deeds.
importance of honouring one’s parents is:
“And We have
enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]
In al-Sahihayn it is reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said:
“The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was asked which deed is the best? He said, ‘Faith in Allah and His Messenger, then honouring one’s parents…’”
And there are
many other Aayat and Mutawaatir Ahaadeeth which say similar things.
: “He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.” (Sahih Muslim, 4627).
and honouring them brings friendship and love.
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents” [Luqmaan 31:14]
Fifthly: if a person honours his parents this may be the cause of his own children honouring him. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is there any reward for good other than good?’ [al-Rahmaan 55:60]
And Allah knows best.
thing for you to do is to pray for guidance for your mother and your siblings
especially your sister that has returned to her old habits. This is what the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did, as is reported in a
number of ahadith, such as the following:
“O Messenger of Allah, Daws have rebelled and disobeyed, so pray to Allah against them.” People said, “Now Daws are doomed!” He said, “O Allah, guide Daws and bring them here.” (Reported by al-Bukhari, 2937).
Abu Hurayrah said:
calling my mother to Islam, when she was still a mushrik. One day I called her
to Islam and she said something about the Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) that upset me. I came to the Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), weeping, and said: ‘O Messenger of
Allah, I was calling my mother to Islam and she refused. Today I called her and
she said something about you that upset me. Pray to Allah to guide the mother
of Abu Hurayrah.’
“They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, we have suffered much from the arrows of Thaqeef (this was when they were fighting, before they became Muslim), so pray to Allah against them.’ He said, ‘O Allah, guide Thaqeef.’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: this is a hasan Sahih ghareeb hadeeth. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3877).
was put to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymin, who replied that if the
parents need their son, and he is able to practise Islam openly in the kafir
country where they live, it is permissible for him to remain there. And Allah
“Obedience is only with regard to good things” and “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.”
If a person
cannot practise his religion openly or is forced to commit sin in any country,
he has to migrate from that country.